BLOOMBERG FOREVER?

Term limits has its limitations

So this is the way to go:

Establish the new uber-office

Of NYCEO.

SCREAMING VIDEO

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Connecting

Buffeting

Preliminary steps that try one’s patience

Even more than do our sour relatience.

EATERY, BLEATERY, CROCK

In the bad old days, pre-Bloomberg,
Folks in restaurants
Had to hie outside to light up
Furtively like cons.

Now the air’s been fully cleared,
Smoke no longer annoys;
But something hovers in its place:
Ear-polluting noise.

Blame the iPod blasting music
Into tender ears?
Point to architects who pander
To the owners’ fears?

They don’t want a cemetery
Still as snow in descent;
Restaurants must throb with life,
Promise merriment.

At that table over there,
However, bells like hell’s
Ring from entree to dessert,
Crashing decibels.

Move to the other end, you say,
Pockets of quiet exist;
Make like someone positive,
Make like an optimist.

Don’t be a fuddyduddy churl,
Don’t be such an ogre;
Be an easygoing chap,
Stick to playing pogre.

Easy for you and your friends to say
–Keep your cool, be stable!–
You’re the ones shouting the loudest
At the farthest table.

GIMMEE SUM FUZZ

The little gooseberry

Despised being peewee

But became very merry

When renamed the kiwi.

SILVER BLOOD

Dead-thanks to Shelly the zombie,

Our traffic indigestion

Goes on apace with his killing

Of the plan to end congestion.

MARITAL HISS

A marriage lasts much longer,

A thing I’ve grown to know,

When both hold back from saying,

“You see–I told you so!”

WHITE HOUSE CLEANUP

The Clintons took in more than a hundred mil

That’s gone into their post-presidential till.

They tithed–to the Bill & Hillary Foundation dome.

Truly, charity begins at home.

STROLLER HEAVEN

Parking is the peskiest problem
Slopers face each day:
Where to find an open spot
Legally okay.

Also true for moms with strollers
Choosing a cafe;
Place must furnish plenty parking
Added to latte.

Why does Park Slope’s carriage trade
Favor the Tea Lounge?
Mom’s assured of stroller spots,
Never needs to scrounge.

Neighborhood boasts arts and crafts,
Many other aces,
But kiddy-coffeehouses require
Lots of stroller spaces

Racklock! When’s the last time you didn’t bash into a snarl of newsracks on Seventh Avenue? And snarkers gripe about Slope strollers. The situation’s even worse in the borough across the river, leading the Municipal Art Society to create a short documentary it calls “Outrage.” It’s now a YouTuber:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=OUTRAGE%21+Nasty+Newsracks+Movie&search_type=

And it starts–in hard-to-read white writing–with this:

RACKS & RUINS

I think that I shall never see

A corner that is clutter-free,

Especially now that newspaper boxes

Proliferate on all our blockses.

Lots of Ratner News
Atlantic Yards is dead. May it rest in pieces.
But death, alas, won’t end the Ratner fleeces,
For close observers of the giveaway plots
Are warning of the coming of parking lots.
Now these would flood the Flatbush/Atlantic area,
Where demolishments already cause hysteria,
With 20 acres of cars dumped by their drivers
Who’ve quickly turned into new-style contrivers
To grab the nearby subway –so enticing–
And beat the eight-buck cost of congestion pricing.
Why drive into Manhattan for that fee
When riding the train is practically free?
(With vehicle armies marching in and out,
All traffic will be snarled without a doubt.)
Once congestion pricing is adopted,
Miss Brooklyn (recessionary climate stopped it)
Along with Ratner’s office tower and housing
Will be the objects of no one’s carousing;
The only structure likely to go up
Is the basketball court, where rich folks watch and sup.
Surrounding it, the multi-billion fright
Amounting to a field of Brooklyn blight.

DID SOMEONE MENTION DEMENTIA?

Beloved Grandma often forgets
To eat, to drink, to call;
She may mistake a vital med
For a Ping Pong ball.

To ensure she’s taking just what’s helpful
And avert a breathing stall,
I decided on a security necklace
To press if she should fall.

So I phoned an order for the item
And talked to a helpful cub
Who went and shipped what I’d requested,
A very useful Club.

I felt that I had helped immensely
And Gran’s good health was sealed
Until she phoned: “My neck is aching–
Isn’t what I need a Shield?”

Her wits are not what once they were
And so must be excused,
But now I can’t help wondering,
Who’s the more confused?

The Verse Responder is in epic form today. Here’s some poetry about parking.

PARKING RAGE

As legal curb cuts multiply

Like rabbits on a rabbity high

The question crops up everywhere

Why cars are nonetheless parked THERE–

Next to the cut, out on the street,

Where drivers’ ire and outrage meet.

I’m not allowed to do it; nor you;

So why’s that car (ticket-free) in view?

Ask any cop or brownie the reason

Behind the auto silly season,

He’ll tell you man to man, or woman,

If he’s a dedicated trueman,

A summons follows a complaint

But if none is phoned in, then it ain’t.

So why’s the curb cutter not on the horn?

Because he needn’t swallow a thorn–

The vehicle plopped in front of his house

Is his second car, the parking louse.

The law permits him to double-dip,

An oddity that could make one flip:.

If a spot’s off-limits to you and me,

Curb Cutter, it should be off-limits to thee.

MEET THE SEXPRESS

Forget about being a communist,

A terrorist or occulterer;

The question topping reporters’ list

Is, Have you been an adulterer?

     VOLATILITY

What’s the distance between
Tragedy and comedy?
Nothing much, it seems
From measures you can see.

Weeks? Days?  Hours?
Needn’t strain your wits, sir.
Laughter followed gasps
In minutes with Eliot Spitzer

UBIQUITY

You take your laptop everywhere,

Being careful not to soil it,

But that can come with a major scare–

I dropped mine in the toilet.

WHAT EVERY WOMAN KNOWS

Boys will be boys,

Time and again;

Just as often,

So will men.

Eat Petite

Meze, dim sum, sushi, tapas,

Nationality won’t stop us.    

Constitute the real deal

 Whether from the bars of Spain,

Or the markets of Japain,

Rare delights from Turkish souks,

 Rarities from Chinese books.

Entrees, from whatever source,

 By their size bring on remorse.

 Hot for treats that are  delicious?

 Good things come in small dishes.         

The Oh So Prolific One had this to say to those Park Slope haters:

A SLOPE TOO STEEP

Snipe on, snipe on, bottom dwellers,

Slurp your bile while snarking;

Stroller-pushing, dog-leading

Slopers are used to
barking.

Here is something a bit more epic from the Oh So Prolific One (OSPO), Leon Freilich

HARK, HARK, OK TO PARK

Seeing spots before your eyes?
If you own a car, they’re a prize,
Each a space where you can dock
Sans the need to check the clock.
This year rest, enjoy your slumber:
Parking yeses have risen in number.
Now they’re up to forty-five,
Luscious days, no need to drive
Round the block, the nabe, the borough
Searching madly, crazy-thorough,
Bye to early rising–kick it!–
Windshield wiper sports no ticket.
Of the parking holidays
Twenty-eight (the Lord to praise)
Are religious, across the board,
Good behavior brings reward,
Touching every major group
Making up New York’s rich soup;
All Saints’ Day and Yom Kippur,
Good Friday and Eid ul-Fitr,
Holy Thursday, Simchas Torah,
Passover and Eid ul-Adha.
Best of all, what could be sweeter,
On six Legals forget the meter.
For the parker, a year of thriving;
Only headache: city driving.

Get your daily dose of poetry from the oh-so-prolific, Leon Freilich:

THE CANDIDATES

McCAIN SIGNS ON

Awful for anyone to be tortured,

Kept in pain by scorcherers;

Worse, perhaps, when the victim

Sides with the torturers

SHIFTING HILL

Each move is calculated,

Consistent with her goals;

Her eye is on Obama

And I know she watches polls.

BEEN WHERE, DONE WHAT?

Barack Obama,

As some have seen,

Radiates–

Obama’s green.

SPEAKS FOR THE U.S.

Should Obama and Hillary Clinton deadlock

The prospects can still be rosy

If Dems turn to real experience

And nominate Nancy Pelosi.

How about this appeal for safety?   (The father of a friend was killed
doing what Krauss did.)  And following, a view unpopular in the
Democratic Republic of Park Slope.

For Nicole Krauss, observed on 7th Ave. at St. John’s Place.

   READ AT YOUR PERIL

Crossing the street.

OBAMA-BOUND

Amorphous wishes for truth?