Here’s this week’s Smartmom from the Brooklyn Paper:
When Diaper Diva asked Smartmom if she’d take 4-year-old Ducky for a
day and a night, Smartmom said yes without thinking. But later, she
panicked a bit.
While Smartmom spends loads of time with the beautiful red-headed
Ducky, it’s usually with Smartmom’s twin, Diaper Diva, around. In fact,
Smartmom and Ducky rarely spend any one-on-one time together. Sad to
say, Ducky can be quite shy around Smartmom. Sometimes she even seems
to resent her presence because Smartmom and Diaper Diva talk and gossip
endlessly, and that’s so boring for a kid.
And when the Oh So Feisty One is around, Ducky hardly notices
Smartmom at all. That’s because the two of them are thick-as-thieves
and they’ve been playing like pirates since the first day they met four
years ago.
In some ways, the mutual admiration society that is Ducky and OSFO
has caused Smartmom to be the odd aunt out. Naturally, that makes
Smartmom feel a little guilty. She knows that the aunt/niece
relationship is an important one, and her sister is truly one of the
world’s most-beloved aunts. Diaper Diva became an aunt when she was a
single Upper West Sider and she threw herself into auntdom with abandon.
Grrrrr — she’s still so darn good at it.
By the time Teen Spirit was two months old, she had three photo
albums dedicated to her adorable nephew. And her relationship with OSFO
is closer than close. In fact, OSFO routinely tells Smartmom that she’d
rather live with her aunt than at home on Third Street.
Smartmom became an aunt at a time when she was fairly overwhelmed
with motherhood, work and life in general. She was thrilled at Ducky’s
arrival and has delighted in her presence since she first set eyes on
her, but her own children take up most of her time, worry, aggravation
and thought.
So this day and night with Ducky felt fraught for Smartmom. Yes, it
was a much-needed chance to spend quality and quantity one-on-one time
with Ducky AND a chance for Smartmom to prove her prowess as an aunt.
But Smartmom was scared. What if she failed? What if it turned out that Ducky didn’t like being with her at all?
Smartmom walked over to Prospect Park West nervously. OSFO was off
at a sleepover date in Prospect Lefferts Gardens and wouldn’t be
available for hours. She worried that there would be a scene when
Diaper Diva and Bro-in-Law left the apartment.
When Smartmom arrived, Ducky was still in her pajamas playing baby,
a game she plays when she is feeling shy. Smartmom decided to play
along and held her in her arms like an oversized newborn. Ducky giggled
and cooed. But when Smartmom offered Ducky a pretend bottle, Ducky
bolted up.
“I’m not a baby. I want you to read to me,” she said grabbing “Brown Bear, Brown Bear” from her bookshelf.
From that moment, everything was fine. Ducky barely noticed when her
parents left. Once they were gone, she seemed to delight in Smartmom’s
presence and was enthusiastic to start their day together.
“Let’s go to the park,” she said grabbing a soccer ball. “Maybe
we’ll have a picnic,” she added getting a bag of Pirate Booty from the
breadbox and a couple of Burt and Ernie juice boxes out of the
refrigerator.
The pair enjoyed themselves in the Long Meadow, at the Third Street
Playground, and the Community Bookstore where Ducky spent more than a
half hour staring at the huge and bewitching lizard they have in the
back.
Then they were off to an intimate lunch at Joe’s Pizza, where
Smartmom did what she never did for her own kids. She let Ducky spend
$5 in quarters on the junky toys in the gum machines.
Now that’s the way to win a niece’s heart.
Four super balls and four weird figurines later, OSFO joined them at
the pizza place and the happy trio was off to the Chocolate Chip
Chamber Music at Old First Church. Founded and directed by local piano
and flute teacher Helen Richman, the series features professional
musicians in engaging and interactive mini-concerts designed for 2- to
6-year-olds.
Perfection. Ducky ran into school friends at the show and everyone
enjoyed “The Wonder Winds Save the Day,” featuring the wonderful Sylvan
Winds on clarinet, oboe, bassoon, flute and French horn. The show was
clever, fun, and perfectly timed and Ducky seemed to especially enjoy
the delicious chocolate cookies at the end.
Back at Ducky’s apartment (where the three were going to spend the
night), Smartmom bathed the girl (with OSFO’s help), heated up chicken
nuggets and macaroni and cheese and popped on her favorite DVD,
Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty.”
Smartmom was thrilled. And tired. It had been years since she spent
this much time alone with a toddler. But nothing could be more
gratifying or special. Especially the book before bed and a huge
goodnight hug and kiss for the niece she loves so much.
