House Approves Stimulus With No Republican Support

Someone Break it to Obama

"Bipartisan" has a uni-meaning, not bi-

And this is what it is: "I spit in your eye."

The web is the greatest procrastination device mankind has yet
invented. –Steven Johnson, self-described Park Slope "father of three
boys, husband of one wife, and author of five books

Primal Screen

The web's supplanted  TV,

Which bores the viewer blind;

Computing's the opposite–

It caffeinates the
mind.

   Quickie Solution

And Citi lent to BoA.

      Piece O'Take

Why's it known as takeout
When we needn't go out at all?
That's what we eat at home
So takein's a better call.

Brits call their eats takeaway,
Suggestive as can be–
Take-that-away is something
On which we Yanks
agree.

DEAD LETTERS DEPT.

It's bad enough when your hair's falling out,

Leading to middle-age rage,

But if you're a writer, how worse it is

When your words fall off the page.

illustration from http://www.artsjournal.com/herman/
 
  

MetroCard used to establish alibi–news item:

Take the A Train

It's the biggest bargain in the city,
 
Protection that's hard to buy;

For just two greasy bucks you get

A ride and an alibi.

GREAT DEPRESSION II MESSAGE

Spend, spend for all you're worth–
Save the economy of the earth.

Save, save, that's the best bet–
Pennies saved reduce the debt.

If the right hand smacks the left,
Tie both down and and jump in the cleft.  

iPHOOEY

The shape is right and so’s the size,
And it vibrates on command,
A gizmo with the full potential
To beat the whisker band.

It’s always with you, home and away,
In bathtub and in car,
Performing dozens of ditsy tasks,
A would-be blazing
star.

Yes, smartphones do this, smartphones do that
And all between flip and flap;
So why can’t they be used to shave?
Multitasking, my app!

A SWAP FOR OUR TIME

The major leagues of baseball do it,
Give guys a second chance,
So why not Wall Street and the pols
Who make Chicago dance?

Let’s see a trade of faded stars
That could bedazzle once more,
With Chicago and the Street exchanging
Players who’ve known the score.

Bernie Madoff, the magician
Adored by all his clients
Who begged him to accept their millions
And placed him among the giants.

And Gov. Rod Blagojevich,
A real maverick,
The master of going it alone
And making statecraft tick.

Bern for Rod and Rod for Bern,
A trade to rock the clocks–
A smile to brighten the grayish Loop
And a swagger to lift all stocks

       SOME THINGS NEVER

I took a pioneering trip

To Mercury on a rocket ship;

The sights were new but not the pattern–

My luggage spent the week on Saturn.

          BOTTLE BATTLE

In the world’s poorer
countries

It’s water you need to fear

While in the prosperous sections

It’s best to avoid the air.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/23/opinion/l23editorsnote.html

MERRY DIRTY TRICKS

So the mayor of Paris didn’t
Reject Caroline’s candidacy
And the Times was fooled by a prankster
Who’s scornful of Clan Kennedy.

But at the season of forgiveness
When we look for the best in folks
It might just be fitting to laugh this
Off with Ho-ho-hoax!

       CHICAGO-UNBOUND

The embattled governor of Illinois

Is nothing worse than a naughty boy

Whose habit is outraging grown-ups

With statements he declines to own-ups.

When Blagojevich talks of contributions,

The thin-skinned rage of prosecutions

As if this noble public servant

Weren’t merely being fervent

In placing sky-high values
on

The trust that seats of power spawn.

To prove his honesty to the skeptic

And demonstrate he’s antiseptic

Blagojevich intends to appoint

A man for the U.S.senate joint

Against whom no one certainly

Will cast the charge of bribery:

Himself.  No money will change hands–

Gold Rod’ll be serenaded by bands,

Becoming what tabs’ll be calling "Blago,"

The little-boy senator from Chicago.

               G.O.D.

Everyone’s Good Old Days

If you must know the truth

Earned their blazing bouquets

During everyone’s youth.

Wall Street Snickers

Banks and investment firms that botched their business

Get Hank’s multi-billions

While automakers who did no worse are dismissed

By Bush’s
vaudevillians.

       Wedding Cake Tiers

The lovely bride walks up the aisle

As teardrops moisten many a smile

And here comes the rangy handsome groom

To gasps of approval that fill the room.

So fresh, so young, these radiant teens,

So ready for  new grownup scenes.

What glorious changes await the pair

About to enter the adult sphere.

First home, their first joint bank account,

Chaotic stuff beginning to mount

Await the smiling groom and bride,

Who beams with confidence at his side.

I know at heart I’m much too gentle

With tears that brand me sentimental

But in an age of marital sheddings

I always cry at first weddings.

Roofscape

Church spires and pigeons
Once hovered here,
Above the Park Slope
Roofs, everywhere.

Then up popped gray
TV antennas,
Bare, dead trees
Like Gehenna’s

These gave  way to
Satellite dishes,
Fulfilling swollen
Cable wishes.

And now the Slope
Frowns and glowers
At the latest,
Cellphone
towers.

Adaptation,
Uglification,
All in the name of
Communication.

Sputtering Toward Oblivion

Now that the GOP’s unmasked

In the boardroom and the lunch line

It’s clear the gland old party’s a joke

With Sarah Palin the punchline.

     Ego Central

Bloomberg Market Data, Bloomberg News, Bloomberg TV, Bloomberg
Radio, Bloomberg Magazines . . .

The list goes on without pity;

Surprised he wants the next one

To be called Bloomberg City?

SOMEONE’S VACATION

No more poems, just poemegranates,
For a two-week spell
Starting October 28th–
Visiting Israel.

Silence there is always treasured,
Both by male and female;
Here what’s most appreciated?
Stopping endless ema

Joe the Plumber

Fame can be a two-edged sword,

Ego-enhancing or alloyed;

Turns out Joe plumbs sans a license.

What’s next–Joe the Unemployed?

Red benches have been installed outside the P.S. 321  playground.  And blue cushions wrapped in plastic are piled nearby.

For parents to observe their kids during school hours?  For flea market shoppers?  For peepers?  For pedophiles?

Connecticut
Muffin this morning had three Slope-size strollers parked–indoors.
This in a space smaller than the average brownstone bathroom. No deep
breathing was possible. Unsportingly the staff refused to accept my MTA
farecard for a coffee.

MULLING IT OVER.  RIGHT

For two full years
They’ve heard the campaign,
Obama here
And there McCain.

No decision?
Got no choice?
Did they somehow
Lose their voice?

Of all the voters
  They’re
the basest,
  Loath to admit
  That they’re racist.

FAILOUT

Henry Paulson and Ben Bernanke
–Renowned as Hank and Bank–
Now want exclusive right to run
The economy they sank.

And who would quarrel with their creds,
This mighty Wall Street duo–
If success breeds even more success,
What’ll failure do, oh?

THANKS BUT NO CRANKS

"Pig Lipstick."  "Kiddie Sex Ed."

What could be clearer?

The GOP candidates

Are Smoke and Mirror.