Another writer who isn’t leaving Brooklyn, Steven Berlin Johnson, author of "Everything Bad is Good for You" (one of the greatest titles) and "The Ghost Map," wrote this letter to his friends, Douglas and Barbara Rushkoff. Douglas was mugged on Christmas Eve and Barbara recently blogged on her Babble blog that they are thinking of leaving town. Here’s an excerpt from Johnson’s letter. Read more at his blog.

Doug (and Barbara)

I’ve said it before in private to Doug, but I’ll start by saying it
publicly: I’m so sorry you had to go through this ordeal, and you’ve
both done an amazing job trying to work through all these issues in
public. It’s precisely the kind of conversation that should be
happening in venues like this, because it’s all about the clash between
our public and private lives.

You guys sound like you’ve already made up your mind to leave, which
is completely understandable, and some of the towns you’re talking
about are wonderful places to live. But I wanted to make the case for
Brooklyn, if only because some of the reasons you cite for leaving are
central to why we’ve decided to raise our kids here. If we can’t
persuade you not to leave, maybe we can persuade you that Brooklyn is
not "a crock."

Found this on Gowanus Lounge. Executives from Whole Foods made a presentation to the Park Slope Civic Council and presented renderings. This one is reproduced from a photograph. GL is waiting to get a better picture from the architect.

"The 64,000 square foot store is tentatively slated to open in the summer of 2008. It will have parking for 420 cars
(120 on the roof and 290 in a garage). The main entrance will be on
Third Street, while truck loading will be on Third Avenue. There will
be a 40-foot "promenade" along a branch of the Gowanus behind the store." –Gowanus Lounge

Fish’s Eddy on Montague Street is closing. Their flagship store in the Flat Iron area will remain open and items can be purchased on their web site.

That company started years ago in a tiny shop on Hudson Street selling hotel and restaurant china, and interesting antiques. I bought Hamburg Heaven mugs there all those years ago in homage to all the lunches I had at Hamburg Heaven as a child.

The store grew and grew and opened branches around the city. The store on Montague Street has been open for a few years but it’s closing now.

They’re having a big close out sale. 75% off on all items while supplies last. The shop is located on  Montague Street near Henry Street. They still have great stuff though it’s not the authentic hotel and restaurant ware it used to be.

They have a great Brooklyn series of plates, platters, etc.

This from NY 1:

Mulchfest, the city’s annual Christmas tree recycling program, is coming to the different boroughs starting this weekend.

The city grinds up Christmas trees and wreaths into wood chips, which people can then use for their yards and gardens.

“At many of the locations there will be chippers where you can take some of the mulch back,” explained Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe. “It is great for putting in window boxes and tree pits, your back yard, front yard and garden. So you can give and receive. That which you don’t take we will use in the parks.”

“This is not mulch ado about nothing,” said Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

Mulchfest will take place this Saturday and Sunday from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. at 65 locations around the five boroughs.

To find the nearest site visit www.nyc.gov or just call 311.

And for New Yorkers can do without the mulch, sanitation workers will be picking up trees for recycling from this Friday until the 16th.

This Saturday January 6th: Check out Brooklyn’s teen bands at the epicenter of the teen and tween scene, Liberty Heights Tap Room. 34 Van Dyke at Dwight Street. 718-246-8050.

1:30-2:00 Dr. Robot For The Sci-Fi Future 2:10-2:40 Fiasco 2:50-3:20 Care Bears On Fire 3:30-4:00 L.E.G.S. 4:10-4:25 Sophia Bennett Holmes 4:35-5:05: Cool and Unusual Punishment.

CHECK OUT FEMALE MUSICIANS IN: Care Bears, LEGS, and Sophia Bennett Holmes. Some times these showcases are a little testosterone heavy. Nice to see the young women getting in on the act. WAY TO GO.

I haven’t read Steven Johnson Berlin’s book, The Ghost Map, but the Financial Times ran a review recently. Read more about SJB and his writings on his blog.

I wonder how Steven Johnson pitched this book to his agent. Maybe he
said something like this: "I want to describe how the cause of cholera
was discovered in London in 1854 and how it made possible the enormous
cities of today. I plan to write a lot about excrement, sewers and how
horrible it is to die as your body suddenly expels litres of water and
waste." Mmmm, nice. You need a strong digestion to get through the
resulting book, The Ghost Map. If your stomach is up to it, your brain
will benefit. The story of how John Snow, a London physician, proved
that cholera came from drinking infected water, not from breathing
noxious air, has been told repeatedly, but never with such intellectual
dexterity and, despite the topic, so engagingly.

The Brooklyn Botanic Garden has been making lots of news lately. First, there was that stinky plant. Then, a rose bloomed in November. Now this:

It’s January and a cherry tree is blooming!! The temperatures have been so unseasonably high: that tree doesn’t know what the heck to think. It has sprouted thousands of blossoms with spring months away — and winter just beginning.

While cherry trees are early bloomers, this is crazy early for those pretty pinkish white flowers to be taking their place on those Botanic Garden branches.

It’s worth a trip to the gardens. Anyone want to go?

There is a vigil at Grand Army Plaza right now for the 3000 troops who have died in Iraq. 6-7 p.m. Tuesday night.

Iraq reported Tuesday that about 12,000 civilians were killed last year — the third full year since the U.S.-led invasion — with a dramatic rise in the last three months, when 5,000 died. Only about half as many Iraqi soldiers died in 2006 as American troops.

Come together with us in sorrow and anger to mourn the loss of all lives, American and
Iraqi, civilian and military in this senseless and wasteful war. National demonstrations marking this grim milestone, coordinated by American Friends Service Committee.

The Brave New World Repertory Company is doing a salon series at various sites around Brooklyn.  Check their site for all the plays and locations. It’s REALLLLLY COOL.

ON SUNDAY FEBRUARY 11th:

They are doing a salon/dinner/reading of Samuel Beckett’s "Waiting for Godot" at Issue Project Room in February. Dinner at 4:30, the reading begins at 5 p.m. For tickets and information: bravenewworldrep.org

The FAQ on the Coney Island Polar Bears Club says it all. Today they are doing their annual New Year’s Day swim.

Are you folks nuts?

Not particularly. We’re just a group of people from all walks of life who deeply enjoy the activity of cold water swimming. Some do it for possible health benefits. Some do it for the love of water. Some do it to stay active at Coney Island. And others, well, maybe a few of us are nuts. But all do it for the fun of it. If it’s not fun, then stay out of the water.

Can’t you get hypothermia doing that?

It is possible to get hypothermia, but in Club memory, going back over twenty years now, no member has ever suffered from hypothermia or frostbite. We know our limits and look out for each other.

3000 US troops have died in Iraq. Tonight, Brooklyn Parents for Peace is sponsoring a vigil to commemorate this gruesome milestone in Grand Army Plaza. Does anyone know more about this. What time?  Please comment.

Our new Governor Spitzer made a strong speech at his inaugural in Albany early Monday afternoon.

"Over the last decade, we have seen what can
happen when our government stands still in the face of great challenge
and inevitable change," he plans to say.

"We’ve seen it in the burdensome property taxes and the health care we
can’t afford; in the jobs that have disappeared from our upstate cities
and the schools that keep failing our children; in a government that
works for those who hold office – not those who put them there."

Continue reading SPITZER SLAMS PATAKI LEGACY IN INAUGURAL SPEECH →

Seeing Green reminds Park Slopers to mulch their trees at the Mulchfest.

"MulchFest provides New Yorkers an opportunity to bring their Christmas
trees to designated sites where they are ground into wood chips. The
chips can then be placed in tree pits and gardens. Parks &
Recreation encourages New Yorkers to help the environment and their
community by participating in this event. MulchFest takes place on January 6 and 7, 2007 from 10:00am to 2:00pm. Participants are encouraged to bring bags to take advantage of the free mulch provided.

Last night, Hepcat and I went to see Spring Awakening, a rock musical about 19th century German school boys and girls that will make you rethink rock musicals forever.

The play, written in the 19th century by Frank Widenkend, was considered scandalous in its day.

This adaptation, with book and music by Steven Sater and Duncan Sheik, directed by Michael Mayer and choregraphed by Bill T. Jones, is exhilarating and wonderful.

The cast is very young: one of the performers is a student at Laguardia High School. Kids under 12 or 13 might be too young for this but it’s a must see for teenagers. I overheard a woman in the Ladies Room saying, "No one under 16 should be here," but I disagree.

Here’s what Charles Isherwood had to say in the Times.

"Spring Awakening" depicts or discusses adolescent sexuality in a
variety of guises, including (possible) rape, masturbation and
homosexuality. It explores the confusion and desperation that ensue
when the onrushing tide of hormones meets the ignorance of children
raised by parents too embarrassed or prudish to discuss what those new
urges signify. Two of the three lead characters are sacrificed on the
altar of propriety: one tormented by shame over sexual fantasies and
bad grades, the other, a girlfriend, the victim of a botched abortion.

Spring Awakening is at the Eugene O’Neil Theatre on 49th Street. For $31,00 you can sit on the stage (which would be very interesting). We paid $80 bucks for mezzanine  tickets but it was totally worth it.  Plus the usher upgraded us to the front of the balcony. Cool.

Tonight. At Grand Army Plaza. Midnight. Fireworks. Pass it on.

This from the Brooklyn Papers, fabulous year-end issue, which has a feisty interview with Marty Markowitz.

In these last
days of the year, Smartmom is busy, busy, busy organizing drawers and
closets. Christmas night, she took all of Oh So Feisty One’s shirts out
of her shirt drawer, refolded them and put them back in by color and
style.

Then she hit the
armoire in the foyer, which is stuffed full of art supplies, children’s
games, and all manner of miscellaneous junk like Littlest Pet Shop
figurines, bottles of dried non-toxic poster paint, file folders filled
with Teen Spirit’s pre-school art, and more ceramic bowls from Paint
Your Own Pottery than anyone could possibly need (Correction: TS’s pre-school art is not junk).

The day after Christmas, Smartmom, re-folded everything in her own shirt and sweater drawers.

Later she went
through Teen Spirit’s dresser and pulled out everything that doesn’t
fit anymore. Black jeans with a size-30 waist: Out. Small or medium
Threadless brand t-shirts: Out (no matter how cool the design).

Then, she put
all these non-fitting items in a bag for Housing Works and folded the
rest. Neat as a pin. It should stay that way for at least five hours.

Later, when OSFO
was busy playing with her new Nintendo DS, Smartmom made a beeline for
the toys on her over-stuffed shelves. Out with the old, in with the
new; Smartmom filled a couple of shopping bags full of toys that OSFO
never touches. She doesn’t have enough space for what’s she’s got let
alone all of her new Christmas and Hanukkah gifts (Uh oh, she noticed…).

So what gives? Why all this straightening?

Smartmom doesn’t need her fabulous therapist to tell her that she gets a feeling of control from all this organizing.

The world is going to hell in a Key Food basket, and there’s not a whole lot she can do about it.

There’s a war on
in Iraq, and hideous conflict all over the world. Global warming is an
inconvenient truth and the Atlantic Yards project was approved. AIDS is
destroying Africa and there are more impoverished people than voters on
American Idol.

There’s little
she feels she can do in her daily life to alleviate the pain and
suffering of those around the world, right around the corner, and in
her very own extended family.

So the cleaning
is her way of coping with feelings of hopelessness. Things may fall
apart and the center may not hold, but, boy, can she re-fold OSFO’s
shirts.

John F. Kennedy
famously said, “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you
can do for your country,” but he should have added, “…and when you run
out of ideas, the cabinet underneath the sink is a whopping mess.”

So daily life
goes on. The clock ticks, the Internet connection hums, the children
need dinner and there is the laundry (cleaned at the seriously nice Equadorian laundry on Sixth Avenue) to be put away.

The daily grind
keeps Smartmom going when nothing else does. So, from the home office
on Third Street, here’s Smartmom’s top 10 list of the ordinary things
that helped her get through a lousy 2006:

1. Smartmom’s
solitary first cup of coffee of the day, while listening to NPR in the
kitchen (and the new toaster that doesn’t burn her toast).

2. The innocent
post on Park Slope Parents that sparked a flurry of gender-related
controversy: “Friday, at the corner of 11th Street and Eighth Avenue,
[I found an] adorable navy blue, or maybe black, fleece hat with
triangles jutting out of it of all different colors.” Just don’t call
it a “boy’s” hat in Park Slope!

3. Her daily breakfast conversations with Teen Spirit before OSFO and Hepcat wake up.

4. Running into the oh-so-independent OSFO with her school friends on Seventh Avenue during lunch hour.

5. Watching two-year-old Ducky push her toy stroller and bunny baby down First Street. And Ducky kisses.

6. Hepcat’s photographs of the Gowanus at dusk. And his scallop risotto.

7. Mr. Kravitz’s new kidney courtesy of Mrs. Kravitz.

8. The Smartmom readers who stop her on the street and tell her which column they liked (or didn’t).

9. Standing with OSFO inside a voting booth at John Jay High School and giving George W. Bush a thumpin’.

10. That blessed
time of day when Smartmom clears all the books, coins, and
Build-a-Bears off her bed, lies in it, reads a magazine, and drifts slowly
off to sleep. Ahhhh.

I know a couple who are running the midnight 5K run in Central Park. On New Year’s Day they are doing a private reading of W.H. Auden’s poem, "New Year’s Letter.

Central Park Run

Resolving to get in shape for the New Year? Start 2007 off right with the
Midnight Run in Central Park
organized by the New York Road Runners Club. The evening begins at
Tavern on the Green with a DJ and dancing, a costume contest and
parade, and then fireworks and the 5K at midnight. Champagne at the
halfway point will keep you tottering toward the finish line, and
Emerald Nuts, the race sponsor, is offering a $300 cash prize for the
"Emerald Nuttiest" costume. Non-athletic friends and family can
volunteer with the Road Runners. At 10, Tavern on the Green, Central Park West and 67th Street, 212-860-4455, nyrr.org, $35 registration fee for nonmembers who sign up before December 16, $40 after that.
A.B.

Bargemusic
This all-Bach performance proves that you can find classical music
right on the water, for both culture and fireworks: Bargemusic is a
floating chamber-music hall on the Brooklyn side of the East River.
Price of ticket includes hors d’oeuvres and wine. At 7, Fulton Ferry Landing, Brooklyn, 718-624-4061, $125. A.B.

This from New York 1:

The streets in Times Square were littered with “practice confetti”
Friday, as the city prepares for Sunday night’s party.

Organizers of the big New Year’s Eve bash tested the airworthiness
of the confetti being used this year by dropping it out of an eighth
floor office.

To help usher in 2007, confetti will be released hourly from 6 p.m.
until midnight – and this year, there’s a lot more of the stuff than
usual.

"We have three times as much confetti because we’ve worked with
Target and they’re sponsoring practice countdowns at the top of the
hour with word-fetti – with words that are related to New Year’s
inspiration, things like ‘cheer,’ and ‘hope,’ and ‘peace,’ and
‘celebrate,’" said Treb Heining, a confetti master.

More than 100 volunteers, so-called confetti dispersal engineers,
will drop the confetti from around a dozen Times Square buildings.

"Show up and enjoy the night and enjoy celebrating New Years Eve,
with not just a million people in Times Square but 100 million
domestically on television and a billion worldwide," said Tim Tompkins
of Times Square Alliance.

And, Mayor Michael Bloomberg will once again start the official Times Square countdown, but he will not be alone.

He will be joined by representatives of the various branches of the
armed forces and the United Service Organizations just before midnight.
They will trigger the Times Square ball to start the final 60-second
countdown to 2007.

Last year jazz great Wynton Marsalis joined the mayor to help the ball drop.

IF YOU’RE GOING

As usual, security will be tight in Times Square for the New Years
event. No large bags or backpacks are allowed and alcohol is
prohibited.

"We urge people to get there early, not to bring backpacks with
them or any alcohol, it will be confiscated," said Police Commissioner
Ray Kelly.

Major traffic restrictions will begin in the afternoon, and revelers are encouraged to leave their cars at home.

Starting at 4 p.m. on Sunday, Seventh Avenue and Broadway will be
shut down between 42nd and 59th streets. In addition, 43rd to 47th
streets will be closed to traffic between Sixth and Eighth avenues.

The closings will spread as the area gets more packed later in the evening.

There will also be changes on the mass transit system.

Starting at 7 p.m. on Sunday, the N, R and W trains will skip the
49th Street stop and northbound 1 trains will pass the 50th Street
station.

On the subway a few months back, I met Isabel Hill, the filmmaker who created this documentary. We talked a bit and  she told me about this film that she was working on about the Atlantic Yards. I am amazed that it is already completed. It sounds very interesting and I will definitely try to catch this screening.

On Thursday, January 4th, at 6:00 p.m., the Center for Architecture – home to the New York City chapter of the American Institute of Architects – will screen “Brooklyn Matters,” a documentary by Brooklyn filmmaker, urban planner and historian Isabel Hill. The timely and urgent film exposes how powerful interests are circumventing community participation and skirting legal protections to push the “Atlantic Yards” project forward at any cost.

Ms. Hill, a Brooklyn resident, and former planner in New York City’s Department of City Planning, directed the award-winning “Made in Brooklyn,” a documentary about the borough’s manufacturing industry.

What:
Brooklyn Matters, a documentary film by Isabel Hill.
Panel discussion to follow.

When:
Thursday, January 4th
Doors open at 6:00 pm
Film starts at 6:30.

Where:
Center for Architecture
536 LaGuardia Place (between West 3rd Street and Bleecker Street)
Greenwich Village
For mass transit access, take the A, B, C, D, E or F subway to West 4th Street

Another person left off the Park Slope More Than 100, Douglas Rushkoff, is an unbelievably prolific writer, an impressive resume, and an apartment in Park Slope. He was mugged on Christmas Eve while he was taking out the garbage. He tells the story on his blog:

I got mugged at knifepoint while taking out the garbage Christmas Eve at 9pm.

I negotiated with him for my health insurance card
– not only because it has my Social Security number and was really hard
to get, but because I knew that such a request would humanize me in the
mind of my attacker, and make it harder for him to stab me. Such are
the benefits of studying human behavior. All I lost was my phone,
cards, and money.

Getting a knife pushed into your ribcage now
and again is just part of the price we pay to live in a city, and New
York is supposedly one of the safer of the bunch. But I have to admit, it
makes me question working two extra gigs (I won’t divulge which ones
they are) in order to pay the exorbitant rent in this part of Brooklyn – when the streets are less safe than they were in the supposedly bad parts of Manhattan where I used to live.

It
may just be the humiliation of not fighting back that’s getting me
down, but I fear that Brooklyn may be a crock. And with a two-year-old
daughter, I feel a strong urge to spend my effort elsewhere.

Here’s some info about fellow Park Sloper Douglas Rushkoff. Check out his blog, too. 

Winner of the first Neil Postman award for Career Achievement in Public Intellectual Activity, Douglas Rushkoff is an author, teacher, and documentarian who focuses on the ways people, cultures, and institutions create, share, and influence each other’s values. He sees "media" as the landscape where this interaction takes place, and "literacy" as the ability to participate consciously in it.

His ten best-selling books on new media and popular culture have been translated to over thirty languages. They include Cyberia, Media Virus, Playing the Future, Nothing Sacred: The Truth about Judaism, and Coercion, winner of the Marshall Mcluhan Award for best media book. Rushkoff also wrote the acclaimed novels Ecstasy Club and Exit Strategy and graphic novel, Club Zero-G. He has just finished a book for HarperBusiness, applying renaissance principles to today’s complex economic landscape, Get Back in the Box: Innovation from the Inside

The 38th president of the United States, Gerald R. Ford, died yesterday at the age of 93. He  was thrust into the presidency after the Watergate scandal but lost his own election bid after pardoning Richard M. Nixon.

Ah. such memories of that time. That’s my era. I came of age during Watergate. Who can forget the day Nixon resigned. Who can forget, "I am not a crook."

Who can forget the day Ford was sworn in (it was Aug.
9, 1974). I was just back from an AYH bicycle trip. And then his pardon of Nixon. How unpopular that was. How angry we all were.

He ended the war in Viet Nam and is credited for being a "healing" influence after a tumultuous breach of civic  trust during the Watergate years. He is rarely remembered for anything he actually did.

He was defeated by Jimmy Carter, the first presidential candidate I ever voted for, in the 1976 election.

Who can forget Chevy Chase’s pratfalls as Ford on Saturday Night Live? Chase channeled the clumsy Ford in an unforgettable way. I think Ford even appeared on SNL once back then.

RIP Gerald Ford. We love your wife for her honesty and spirit. She came clean on the fact that she was heavily addicted to alcohol and drugs and paved the way for so many to seek help.

Hepcat is a great one for giving gifts that are, as he says, tools. He is quite extravagant when it comes to “tools”. I should have known. Pre-marriage, he gave me a telephone for my birthday. I was just….thrilled.

But that’s when I learned about his preference for useful gifts: something that promotes creativity or ingenuity.

Hepcat will search high and low for the perfect, toolish, gift. Sure, he’s done his time at The Clay Pot, and selected beautiful rings for me. But more likely, he’s off looking for toolish gifts come Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries.

Photographic accessories, for instance, make a perfect gift, of course. Or pens. Art supplies. Musical instruments. Computer stuff. Notebooks. Kitchen appliances…

This Christmas, he gave OSFO a sewing machine. A real, live, grown-up one. She loves to sew and has been asking for one for quite some time.

Well, it was the perfect gift. Already, OSFO has learned to operate it and she was sewing late into the night (in-between bouts with her Nintendo DL, a gift from her grandpa).

Hepcat came into bed late Christmas night. “I am so proud of OSFO,” he said. “She just loves to sew.”

Looking for something to do this Saturday night?

Live Music and Kosher food at
THE JEWISH MUSIC CAFE
401 9th street (between 6th & 7th ave.)
Park Slope Brooklyn
F train to 7th Avenue.
This Week-

PEY DALID – HAMAKOR – BENNY BWOY

Saturday Dec 30th 8:30pm $15

more info at http://www.jewishmusiccafe.com

This is from last December 26th:

‘Twas the day after Christmas and all through the Slope there was gift wrap and packaging in the apartment building garbage pails.

Daughter and I were walking to a friend’s house when we saw something quite extraordinary in front of one of the limestone buildings just a few doors away.

A beautiful doll house — a three-story mansion, really — with a small shopping bag full of faux-elegant doll furniture.

It was being discarded, we surmised, because its owner had to make space for her new gifts. The bedrooms are quite small in the buildings on Third Street. We knew that most of the girls in that building are ten or older — perhaps its owner had finally outgrown the doll house.

Maybe it was some kind of spiritual exchange. The child had been taught that in order to receive a gift, she had to give something away….

We pondered all possible explanations for the doll house’s presence on the Third Street pavement.

The doll house was in good condition—nothing a little Fantastik couldn’t shine up. And the small shopping bag filled with doll furniture was a gesture that said: here take this. It’s yours if you want to carry it away.

First we looked at the house, discussed whether or not to take it, and decided it was too much trouble as we had somewhere to be. I was surprised that OSFO was able to pass it by.

Then she backed up.

"Can we take it? Please?" she begged.
"Where are you going to put it?" I said. Her room is tiny.
"Please?"
"You already have a doll house," I said reminding her of the mid-century modern doll house I’d bought for $20 dollars at a stoop sale on Third Street complete with a shopping bag full of incredible doll furniture.
"I know. But one’s a mansion…"

A mansion maybe. But it’s made out of molded plastic and says Fisher Price right on it. The mid-century modern one we’ve already got is so much more tasteful.

Still, we carried it into the vestibule of our building. "You’re going to need to clean this thing up." I said. "I know," she said. "I know."

The large plastic doll mansion is sitting on top of OSFO’s homework desk until we clear more space in her room. Her Polly Pocket dolls have already taken up residence. The scale isn’t quite right. Whatever.

Let’s see. What item can we choose to discard, to place on the street with a note that says: Take this. It’s yours if you want to carry it away.

–written on December 26th, 2005

The gift-giving time of the year sometimes brings out the worst in OSFO and Teen Spirit. The trouble is: they get way too excited about getting presents, their expectations run sky high, and disappointment is sure to ensue.

Like all happy occasions, a gift giving event often begins or ends in tears.  They can be tears of impatience as in:
Child: When are we opening the presents?
Parent: Soon.
Child: Can I just open one?
Parent: No!!
Child:  Pleeeeeze? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Or tears of over-excitement and frustration as in:
Child: Can we please put together my new Karaoke tape player and microphone?
Parent: No, people are still opening their gifts.
Child: Couldn’t you just help me?
Parent: Not now!!
Child: Pleeeeeze? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Tears of disappointment as in:
Child: I didn’t get anything I liked.
Parent; Yes you did.
Child: Like what?
Parent: Well, you got that nice…
Child: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

And tears caused by a  combination of excitement and disappointment and impatience as in:
Child: It’s not working
Parent: "I’m sure it’s working.
Child: No, it’s not working, somebody better fix it now.
Parent: I’m doing the dishes.
Child: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

You get the picture. While these are obviously just made-up scenarios, there is more than a little  verisimilitude in each one. And these scenes make Smartmom absolutely livid.

This year, Smartmom tried to prepare OSFO for the possibility that she might be disappointed on one of these so-called happy occasions. "Sometimes you don’t get what you want," she said. "And it helps not to set your expectations too high. Smartmom and OSFO have also practiced the art of getting a gift you don’t like." It is polite,"  Smartmom instructed,  "to say ‘thank you’ even if you despise the item that you’ve just opened."

Smartmom and OSFO practiced this until OSFO got sick and tired of the exercise (and the idea that she might get something she doesn’t want).

Smartmom also told OSFO to guard against becoming a gimme, gimme, gimme kind of person. "Children who get too many gifts get spoiled because they stop appreciating things," Smartmom warned. "It is important not to take anything for granted," she said. "Recognize how lucky you are to have what you have."

Smartmom was just seconds away from saying, "And there are children starving in Africa…"

Truth is, the fact that OSFO and Teen Spirit are "spoiled" is largely the fault of their loving relatives (parents included) who shower them with whatever their heart’s desire. It comes from love but it often ends in "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And that’s just part of the problem. Capitalism absolutely depends on an almost constant desire for things. 

So here goes New Year’s resolution #2005:

Smartmom will teach her children to be givers not receivers. She wants them to be generous, to be empathic, to enjoy  doing unto others (in whatever form that takes).  She wants them to know that giving is its own reward and Karma is a boomerang. She wants them to understand that if they are going to be good citizens of this crazy world, they have to be part of the solution not the problem.

Cliche, cliche, cliche. But it’s all true. And so much of parenting is instilling what is true. Even if they are platitudes, even if they are cliches. It’s important to try to give your kids the gift of good values. That’s a parent’s job above all. A gift they will cherish forever.

–Written December 2004

FROM THE NY TIMES: James Brown, the dynamic, pompadoured ”Godfather of Soul,” whose
rasping vocals and revolutionary rhythms made him a founder of rap,
funk and disco as well, died early Monday, his agent said. He was 73.

Brown
was hospitalized with pneumonia at Emory Crawford Long Hospital on
Sunday and died around 1:45 a.m. Monday, said his agent, Frank Copsidas
of Intrigue Music. Longtime friend Charles Bobbit was by his side, he
said.

Copsidas said the cause of death was uncertain. ”We really don’t know at this point what he died of,” he said.

I came upon a November issue of the Times and found this interesting and enjoyable Op Ed essay by our neighborhood author, Jonathan Safran Foer. He is a dog lover and strong supporter of off-leash hours.

“She mounts guests, eats my son’s toys (and occasionally tries to eat my son), is obsessed with squirrels, lunges at skateboarders and Hasids, has the savant-like ability to find her way between the camera lens and subject of every photo taken in her vicinity, backs her tush into the least interested person in the room, digs up the freshly planted, scratches the newly bought, licks the about-to-be served and occasionally relieves herself on the wrong side of the front door. Her head is resting on my foot as I type this. I love her.

The practical arguments against off-leash hours are easily refuted. One doesn’t have to be an animal scientist to know that the more a dog is able to exercise its “dogness”— to run and play, to socialize with other dogs — the happier it will be. Happy dogs, like happy people, tend not to be aggressive. In the years that dogs have been allowed to run free in city parks, dog bites have decreased 90 percent. But there is another argument that is not so easy to respond to: some people just don’t want to be inconvenienced by dogs. Giving dogs space necessarily takes away space from humans.

We have been having this latter debate, in different forms, for ages. Again and again we are confronted with the reality — some might say the problem — of sharing our space with other living things, be they dogs, trees, fish or penguins. Dogs in the park are a present example of something that is often too abstracted or far away to gain our consideration.

The very existence of parks is a response to this debate: earlier New Yorkers had the foresight to recognize that if we did not carve out places for nature in our cities, there would be no nature. It was recently estimated that Central Park’s real estate would be worth more than $500 billion. Which is to say we are half a trillion dollars inconvenienced by trees and grass. But we do not think of it as an inconvenience. We think of it as balance.

Living on a planet of fixed size requires compromise, and while we are the only party capable of negotiating, we are not the only party at the table. We’ve never claimed more, and we’ve never had less. There has never been less clean air or water, fewer fish or mature trees. If we are not simply ignoring the situation, we keep hoping for (and expecting) a technological solution that will erase our destruction, while allowing us to continue to live without compromise. Maybe zoos will be an adequate replacement for wild animals in natural habitats. Maybe we will be able to recreate the Amazon somewhere else. Maybe one day we will be able to genetically engineer dogs that do not wish to run free. Maybe. But will those futures make us feel, in the best sense of the word, human?

I have been taking George to Prospect Park twice a day for more than three years, but her running is still a revelation to me. Effortlessly, joyfully, she runs quite a bit faster than the fastest human on the planet. And faster, I’ve come to realize, than the other dogs in the park. George might well be the fastest land animal in Brooklyn. Once or twice every morning, for no obvious reason, she’ll tear into a full sprint. Other dog owners can’t help but watch her. Every now and then someone will cheer her on. It is something to behold.”

From the Brooklyn Papers (brooklynpapers.com)

Smartmom thinks that slumber parties for children under the age of 35 should be banned. Why would any parent want to sacrifice his or her sleep and sanity for an all-night gathering of pre-teen girls?

A couple of weeks back, Divorce Diva asked Smartmom if she’d be willing to help out during her 10-year-old’s slumber birthday party.

“It’ll be eight girls in all. Her private school requires that you either invite the entire class, all the girls, or only one child,” Divorce Diva explained.

Eight girls. That seemed a tad excessive. Smartmom, who has never hosted a slumber party for either Teen Spirit or the Oh So Feisty One, knows from anecdotal evidence that slumber parties are generally a bad idea. And if you must do it, keep it small.

Smartmom considered hanging up the phone and leaving it off the hook for at least 16 hours. But Divorce Diva could barely conceal her desperation.

“I NEED YOU,” she cried into the phone.

So, being the gullible, good-natured friend that she is, Smartmom relented.

Besides, OSFO was an invited guest and Smartmom thought it would be fun to be a fly on the wall — and a chance to hang out with her friend.

The girls were in their pajamas when Smartmom and OSFO arrived at Divorce Diva’s house in Ditmas Park at 6 pm. And because it was an American Girl slumber party, the dolls were in their pajamas, too.

The first activity, a video talk show, went well. The birthday girl interviewed all of the American Girl dolls, including the eight dolls that belonged to the birthday girl.

That’s 15 dolls and 15 interviews.

“So, who is your favorite person in the world?” the birthday girl asked Felicity, OSFO’s Revolutionary War era doll, who was dressed in a hot pink bathrobe.

“OSFO, of course,” OSFO answered in her doll’s voice.

After the talk show, the girls went upstairs to watch the video while Smartmom and Divorce Diva set up the Chinese food on the special party plates, as well as doll-sized plates for the dolls.

Some of the girls (not to mention the dolls) were picky eaters:

“I’ll just have miniature corn and water chestnuts,” one girl said. Smartmom groaned as she fished out the miniature corn and water chestnuts of one of the dishes.

“I don’t eat meat or seafood,” another girl said. Smartmom offered her a plate of Chinese broccoli. “I don’t eat green food either.”

When it was time for beverages, the girls screamed for root beer, orange soda or Sierra Mist, while holding up doll sized cups for their American Girl dolls.

Smartmom thought she might lose her mind. Instead, she served the girls — and the dolls — the soda they wanted and poured herself a tall glass of Trader Joe’s Merlot. Then a fight broke out between two highly hyperactive girls.

“You pig,” one girl said. “Haven’t you ever heard of a fork?” The other girl looked ready to cry. Instead she threw shoes. American Girl doll shoes, of course.

After the meltdown, er, dinner, the girls decided to play with their dolls in the birthday girl’s tiny third-floor bedroom. Like Sherpas, Divorce Diva and Smartmom carried 15 dolls and all manner of doll furniture, horse stables, wheelbarrows, and armoires filled with doll clothing to the bedroom upstairs.

Ready for a nap, Smartmom lay down on the couch while Divorce Diva got out the Harvey’s Bristol Cream and poured them each a glass. Yum (especially after Merlot).

Next up: beauty makeovers and a movie. Following a heated argument, the birthday girl got her way and the girls watched “Meet the Fockers” while applying mascara, eye shadow and rouge to the faces of girls and dolls alike.

All was quiet until one girl came screaming downstairs: “I just got the make-up today and now it’s ruined.”

Divorce Diva did her best to console the girl. “It’s really not that bad,” she purred while another child made it look like new again.

To no avail. The indignity of someone messing with her make-up kit was just too much. Soon the girl succumbed to a bout of acute homesickness that necessitated a call home.

When there was no answer, she tried her mother’s cellphone and left a pleading message.

“Can I have another glass of Merlot?” Smartmom asked pleadingly of Divorce Diva who was quick to oblige.

While they waited for a call from homesick girl’s mom (it never came, by the way), the girl pined for her beloved family dog, who died five years ago.

“I’ll never feel the soft fur of my dog ever again,” she said standing at the window staring at the stars like a Shakespearean heroine.

At midnight, Shoe Thrower, who has ADHD, came downstairs. “I can’t settle down,” she told them. “They’re making too much noise.”

Divorce Diva called the girl’s mother for advice. “Separate her from the other girls,” Shoe Thrower’s mom suggested, so the girl was sequestered in Divorce Diva’s comfortable bedroom in front of the TV.

The rest of the girls didn’t settle down quite so easily. They arranged and rearranged their sleeping bags — and the dolls’ sleeping bags — in the family room. Smartmom could tell they were planning for a long night.

“I’m not tired at all!” one girl said. “Neither am I,” OSFO chimed in.

Smartmom rolled her eyes. Even those who were obviously tired didn’t want to seem like wusses for going to sleep.

Everyone knows, you get a badge of honor if you stay up later than anyone else.

Smartmom retired to the guest room at 1 am hoping that it might inspire the girls to think about sleeping. But no such luck. At one point, a sleepy OSFO came into Smartmom’s solitary sanctuary.

“Would you like to sleep in here?” Smartmom said fearfully, pointing to the cozy, single bed. OSFO said no. Phew.

“Do you want to go home?”

“Nah, I want the goody bag,” she said and scurried out.

While Smartmom slept fitfully, there was noise, crying, and carrying. At 3:30 am. Smartmom heard Divorce Diva desperately telling the girls, “I can’t take it anymore. I need some rest.”

In the morning, Smartmom found Divorce Diva throwing toaster waffles on the table and waiting for the girl’s parents to arrive.

The girls needed help finding their things and packing up.

“I can’t find Piggy,” one girl came running down the stairs in an obvious panic. Eight girls, 15 dolls and two moms searched the house high and low for a tiny pink stuffed animal.

Thankfully, Piggy was located, the girls ate breakfast, and their parents arrived just in the nick of time. Divorce Diva put on a good show.

It was lively, she told them. Never a dull moment. One by one, she handed the parents their child’s rolling suitcase and goody bag.

“You know, your daughter’s doll was incredibly well-behaved,” Divorce Diva told one dad. “She’s always welcome here,” she said handing him a beautifully coiffed Molly. “She can sleep over here anytime. Anytime.”

I’ve been spending a lot of time in Manhattan. Yesterday saw paintings by Alex Katz of his wife, Ada at the Jewish Musuem. There was also a show of Comics, that is a must-see for all comic book lovers.

My mom lives in the Zabars-Fairway-Citarella vortex on the Upper West Side. My walks up Broadway from the 72nd Street subway station have been a feast to my senses.

Booksellers, vendors of all kinds. Sephora, Barneys, Urban Outfitters. It’s a cool shopping mall on Broadway between 72nd Street and 79th.

Style and energy – whether it’s the upscale or the beggers. Life throbs up here big time.

I love the old style Broadway stuff, too. Like the Cuban Chinese on the corner of 78th Street and Zabars, which is timeless and tasty.

I compare it to Seventh Avenue and recognize that Broadway is just so much bigger. The buildings, the streets, the expanse from one side of Broadway to the other, the island in between, the level of commerce, the hustle bustle, the self-importance of it, the money…

My eyes and ears are contantly taking it in. Broadway: this exciting walk of life.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that the real Park Slope list to be on is the list of people who were NOT included on the Park Slope More Than 100.

Here’s some post-mortem thoughts…

I worked hard on that list and I don’t regret it one bit (“She’s very thick skinned,” they say on the Brooklynian).

Some liked it (“I was very moved that you included…”)

Some hated it (“You elitest so and so.”).

Many of the people on the list felt recognized. Felt noticed. Felt appreciated. (“I am a fixture around here,” said Hillary, the blue haired woman at Shawn’s Liquors). Catherine at Community Books and Maxine at Stitch Therapy said it gave them a boost during this most difficult time of the year.

Good friend composer, Louis Rosen finally told me, point blank, that he didn’t like it (“It’s so Manhattan, so obnoxious.”) I love him anyway.

Of course I am going to do it again. I just know it.