Photograph by Rudolph Vernaz-Colas

I’m just getting to know Fucked in Park Slope (Embrace the Hate), a new Park Slope blog, serving Park Slope since the Great Depression of 2008.

Here is their about page:

Fucked in Park Slope (FIPS) is written by Benjamin and Erica (and sometimes some other people too).

The videos are all shot and edited by Greg.  Also he gathers the weekly craigslisting roundups.

You can read some other stuff written by Erica here or here.

We
all *really* do live here in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Sometimes we love it
and sometimes we hate it, but I guess mostly we love it because we’re
all still here and don’t have any immediate plans to move.

Benjamin is married and has kids, and Erica doesn’t. Greg doesn’t either, which is convenient, b/c he’s married to Erica.

None
of us belong to the food coop, are organic gardeners, vegans,
lovocores, or any of that other bullshit. Greg-n-Erica have a dog.

Continue reading New Blog on the Block: Fucked in Park Slope →

This was written by a neighbor of mine. She sent it into the Brooklyn Paper and I just found it a couple of days ago.

Just got around to checking out your Dylan story. Since I was raised on Dylan and spent many years on the road, mostly through Western Europe—my parents being the ex-pats and all…my mom had like 3 cassettes she played in the car-Blonde On Blonde, Blood On The Tracks and a homemade compilation (of scratchy, static ,off the radio from b4 we left America) songs by Sam Cooke, Otis Redding, Joan Baez, The Kinks, Janis Joplin, Boz Scaggs and of course MORE Dylan!

They were warped and scratched and she knew every syllable and intonation and like a mantra holding on for dear life murmured his phrases to a T for several of my formative years–I hardly knew where Dylan ended and my Mom began.

Years later when I was in HS, someone popped these tunes on the box and I began singing along with it and people were amazed at my Dylan impersonation and the fact I knew by heart Sad Eyed Lady, in its entirety–there have been times I am torn up about Dylan, not knowing if it’s a brainwash of state of mind impacted by my mom’s obsession like a genetic predisposition for wailing out his electric poetry or my own exploration and discovery of his profound effect on my life’s struggle and euphoria (which I find to be the case–for me it runs the gamut on how intensely Dylan has grounded me, instilled insight, intelligence, help to form my values, my art, my psyche is etched indelibly with Dylan’s meth-amphetamine Ginsbergian, messianic cult-loving germs)…

I have already begun to cultivate this process with my own children but not to the extent that my mother’s obsession did — my children are obviously not trapped in a car going across desolate roads through Morocco without any other choices of listening tunes.

I have a deeply singular, private experience of Bob Dylan wrapped in childhood memories and later on as I gained ground throughout my adolescence to register the effect on how I saw the world at large, it made me strong and guided me through the whirlwind back roads of my mind– when I see him in a public venue it fractions out the prism of his profound effect on my life and since i already am deeply satisfied not to have to share him with a throng/mass of other folks that may baulk or wonder at him, as if he is hard to nail down and they can’t relate–I enjoy Dylan as illusive as he is and his public appearances shatter the myth and the legend into fragments that dilute my inner soul’s pang.

Maybe I just feel lost in the crowd and uncomfortable coming to terms with what might be the destruction of my ideal–as if i might be misunderstood by the celebrity of Dylan’s persona–this whole time, practically my whole life has to answer to the man up on stage as a patriarchal figure, as if being my mother’s lover-in a strange Oedipal effect, I must evaluate that dynamic..It does become a complex and woeful tale for me to ‘go there’. I can hardly enjoy one of his concerts , albeit i am unhinged and forever at his mercy when I hear his voice and lulled by his songs as if from an ancestral calling –fills me up , makes me whole again. I realize who I am and where I come from when I hear Dylan sing.

Photo by Rudolph Vernaz-Colas.

Constant Couple

Dick Cheney’s depicted as a heartless man
In the media’s cruel song,
As well his crony behind the war–
Wrong!  Wrong!  Wrong!

Before they leave the D.C. scene,
On the day of final bows,
Dick Cheney and George W. Bush
Are renewing their holy
vows.

Santa Claus at the Atlantic Mall.
Photo by Rudolph Vernaz-Colas.

This Thanksgiving I’m especially thankful for protective eyewear.
Shown here: twelve year old Aidan Fontana preparing to fire at
point-blank range.

Photo by Tom Martinez

ANYHOW!  This is it!  This is the official news that our website
is up, functional, and doesn’t have too many embarassing corners (it’s
actually been up since August, but had . . . well, embarassing
corners).  Since then, we’ve gotten used to it, so it seems a little
funny to send out word, but . . . although quite an amazing few of you
have found it already, NO!  THIS is the official news!!!!! 

 

Please step in, and take a look:  www.communitybookstore.net.

 

The information is current and accurate.  The events listings are
up to date (thank you Rebekah), and the "Messing About" section is full
of whatever tickles our fancy . . . . but probably the best and most
important part of it is that you can now Order Books from us, on line.
If you go to the "Get Books" section, you can troll through, search and
peruse Books in Print — if you want to order something, you can choose
to have it sent to the bookstore for pickup (or if you add a message,
free delivery — we do that, don’t forget!), or have it sent to you at
home, or to you on vacation, or to your aunt in Muncie.

 

This is big!  This is huge!  This actually works!  And anyhow, we spent a lot of time and thought on it, so please indulge us, and check it out!

 

Every single order placed is routed through the bookstore
(although orders placed to send to someone else ship directly from the
distributor’ s warehouse — hugely efficient and zippy!) so we’ll be watching out for you as always (Hold on, did you want the hardcover, when there’s a paperback available?)( Are you a school?  Should you be tax exempt?)

 

Coming soon is our Holiday Newsletter, full of what we think are
the best and most exciting books published this year.  And, yup, it
will all be tied to the website, to make ordering (and sending) a snap.

 

This is our big move, into the 21st Century.  (oh golly, is it the
22nd, by now?  Hold on, I lose count . . . .anyhow, it’s us trying
manfully to be here, and now, and I think it’s actually a pretty good shot  . . . . )  So join us, won’t you?

The Gay and Lesbian Ministry of Saint Augustine Roman Catholic Church
announces its second annual World AIDS Day Candlelight Service and
Memorial Ribbon Project.

The Candlelight Service will take place on World AIDS Day December
1, at 7:00 pm in St. Augustine Roman Catholic Church, 116 Sixth Avenue,
between Park and Sterling Places in Park Slope, Brooklyn and will
feature a talk by designer and teacher Jim Morgan co-founder of Friends
House in New York City, which offers housing and support to persons
with AIDS, and Kisangura Friends Secondary School in Tanzania for
children orphaned by AIDS.

The exuberant and inspiring Gay Men’s Chorus of Manhattan, a group
of choral musicians dedicated to educating through song, who use the
gift of voice to promote tolerance and acceptance for GLBT and all
peoples, will perform.

The Ribbon Project will installed beginning in mid-November through
World AIDS Day 2007. "It is our hope that the red ribbons bearing the
names of some who have died of AIDS lining the iron fence that
surrounds Saint Augustine Roman Catholic Church will serve as a stark
and reverent reminder of the continued need to strive to improve AIDS/
HIV education, support all who live with HIV and AIDS and press for a
cure," writes one of the events founders.

With an
estimated 1,039,000 to 1,185,000 HIV- positive individuals living in
the U.S., and approximately 40,000 new infections occurring every year,
the U.S., like other nations around the world is deeply affected by
HIV/AIDS. On December 1, World AIDS Day, it is fitting to reflect on
the way that the pandemic of HIV and AIDS affects us on local, national
and international levels. The World AIDS Day 2007-2008 call to "Keep
the Promise" brings emphasis to the importance of holding individuals,
religious leaders, faith organizations, international and national
governments and agencies accountable for the commitments they have made
to fight HIV and AIDS.

The church invites all those
who wish to do so to take part in their Ribbon Project by submitting
names of loved ones who have died of AIDS. Send names, with or without
last names — informal or ‘nicknames’ are acceptable — and dates of
birth and death if these details are available.

This information may be mailed or hand-delivered, through the mail
slot, to the St. Augustine Church Rectory (at 116 Sixth Avenue,
Brooklyn; mark envelopes: “Ribbon Project”) or sent by email to
staugustinegay@gmail.com. Names inscribed on the ribbons will be read
aloud as part of the prayer service. (deadline: November 28)

For further information please call St. Augustine Church (718 783
3132), write to staugustinegay@gmail.com or visit
www.brooklyngaycatholics.blogspot.com .

Leon Freilich, the Oh-So-Prolific-One/Verse Responder, brought an article in this weekend’s Newsday to my attention, a guide and loving tribute to Park Slope with more than 100 photographs. See if your house is pictured or your favorite store or restaurant. The dining out section includes 45 photographs. Quite a few restaurants pictured are no longer in business, including Beso, Bistro St. Marks, Minnow, Cocotte, The Red Cafe, Surreal Cafe, Two Little Red Hens and Mirimam. It’s actually a great record of extinct restaurants. Complete with pictures.

Park Slope
is a fine mixture of late 19th century elegance and 21st century cool:
Brownstones and limestones complete with bow windows, bay windows,
turrets and cupolas vie for space along its tree-lined streets with
up-to-the minute bistros and bars.

Built to compete with the upscale neighborhoods of that borough across
the river, its own version of Fifth Avenue — Prospect Park West — was
meant to be every bit as opulent as its more famous competitor. It
never quite succeeded on that level, but it did draw its own plutocrats
and merchant princes.

The main difference is that, even today, many of those mansions remain
while much of Fifth Avenue has long since been turned into faceless —
if internally lavish — apartment houses.

Here’s an email from Willie’s Dawgs, Park Slope tasty special hot dog place on Fifth Avenue.

The good folks at Willie’s have a favorite customer, local Park Sloper, Peter Taft, who is an EMT with an exquisite search and rescue dog Cassius. 

There is no government agency that trains or provides these amazing working dogs, it is all done by private  work and donation. It takes about 10K to train each one.

Having lived through the World Trade Center Disaster I can personally attest to the absolute essential life saving and heroic services these dogs provide.

Willie’s is having a great benefit for The National Disaster Search Dog Foundation. Spread the good word!!

The Where and When

Come to our benefit short film screening 12/4 Thursday 7:30 pm
Hotdogs, beer, popcorn, free stuff, all for $20.00
Proceeds to benefit The National Disaster Search Dog Foundation

Scott Carney and Melanie Kozol are the owners of Bussaco. They will be participating in Buy in Brooklyn’s Snowflake Celebration during the first two Thursdays in December (12/4 and 12/11) by offering hot mulled cider to passers-by.

Q: When did you open for business and why did you choose Park Slope?

A: We opened our restaurant on October 3, 2008. We love Prospect Park and have many friends in the neighborhood.

Bussaco Factoid: Their communal table is made from a fallen white oak tree from Prospect Park.

Q: Which of the Sustainable Business Network NYC’s "Top Ten Reasons" to shop locally resonate most with you & your business?

A: Reason # 3: Our one-of-kind businesses are an integral part of Brooklyn’s distinct character. Businesses in general are spirited outgrowths of the people that create them. Our home-grown enterprises deserve local support to further the wonderful array of choices we now enjoy in all corners of our borough.

Shop Local Factoid: The unique character of Brooklyn is what brought owners here and what will keep them here. Shopping at local businesses will help maintain Brooklyn’s unique urban landscape.

Interview conducted by Rebeccah Welch

Sadly, it was confirmed by the Chabad-Lubavitch, headquartered in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, that Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg (who was raised in Brooklyn) and his wife, Rivka Holtzberg (raised in Israel) were killed in the hostage crisis in the Chabad house in Murbai. Their 2-year-old son, Moshe, was smuggled out of the house by an employee and is with relatives in Israel.

From the Jerusalem Post:

Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg, 29, and his wife Rivka, 28, arrived in Mumbai six years ago as official emissaries [shluchim] of Chabad.

Gavriel, who was born in Israel and grew up in Kiryat Malachi, moved with his family to New York at the age of ten. He has dual citizenship.

 

Here’s this week’s Smartmom from the Brooklyn Paper:

Running has been Smartmom’s best friend in these months since her father died.
The feelings of deadness, lethargy, and deep sadness that come with the
loss of a parent are temporarily soothed by the endorphins produced
during strenuous exercise.

So when she needs a lift, Smartmom puts on her black nylon running
outfit, her Lulu Lemon running jacket, and her purple and white running
shoes and heads for Prospect Park.

The natural beauty of Olmsted and Vaux’s masterpiece is also a
consoling salve. The autumnal trees, a patchwork of yellow, orange, red
and brown, are uplifting, as is the cumulative energy of so many others
exercising at the same time.

A few weeks back, Smartmom listened to Bob Dylan singing “Sad Eyed
Lady of the Lowlands” on her iPod as she ran. She remembered that it
was her father who introduced her to “Blonde on Blonde” back in 1966,
when she was only 8-years-old.

The tears came as she remembered her father’s passion for music.
What a gift he left behind: the memory of him in music of all kinds.

What a curse. Every time she listens to music, she thinks of her father and gets sad.

Thump. Thump. Thump. During a recent run, Smartmom thought of her
sister spending many hours recently trying to find a home for their
father’s collection of jazz 78s, which he collected as a teenager in
1940s Los Angeles. Ever resourceful, Diaper Diva checked with the
Institute of Jazz Studies at Rutgers University and even Phil Schaap,
the legendary WKCR jazz DJ, but no one wanted them.

Finally, a good friend came forward who collects 78s. He will house
them in his upstate home where Smartmom and Diaper Diva are welcome to
visit and listen to the music.

This kind of problem solving is how Diaper Diva is dealing with her grief.

Running around the park has always been a kind of therapy for
Smartmom; it’s where she does her best thinking. So it’s no wonder that
during these tough times, she finds that the steady thump of her
running shoes inspires her to come up with solutions to problems of all
kinds.

Will Teen Spirit have all his SUNY and CUNY applications done by Nov. 29? She makes a mental note to ask him how that’s going.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

What about the Oh So Feisty One? Her room is so small and she’s been
pining for a loft bed for so long. Maybe it’s time to go to Ikea and get that damn Tromso loft bed even if it does come in 1,000 pieces and Hepcat will probably come undone putting it together.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

What about Hepcat? He’s been experiencing all kinds of joint and
muscle pain. He did see an internist, but he’s still not feeling
better. He needs to start exercising. He’s put his body on the
back-burner for too long.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Smartmom breathes in and out, taking in the majesty of her park, the
memory of her father, the faces of her family, and her heart’s elevated
rhythms.

When she runs, Smartmom feels enormous gratitude to her body and its
ability to transport her at running speed from Third Street, past the
lake, Wollman Rink, the Audubon Center, the Zoo, Long Meadow, Grand Army Plaza and finally back to Third Street.

On Thanksgiving morning, Smartmom was set to run the Turkey Trot in Prospect Park, a joyful gathering and a highly energetic and exuberant way to begin Thanksgiving Day.

It also means guilt-free eating later in the day as in, “Hey, body, I just ran five miles I can eat what I want. Got it?”

This Thanksgiving, as she runs, Smartmom will give thanks to her
wonderful and supportive community; Dr. Gruenstein, her father’s
oncologist; and, yes, she will give thanks to her favorite park, a
place to be soothed, a place to remember, a place to run.

Here’s the final installment for now of Michael D. Nolan’s Brooklyn Memoir: Proximity: What can happen when we live, work and love close together.

The organizer of this event asked me to share this information about an upcoming two-day all-Brooklyn-focused Brooklyn Film & Arts Festival documentaries festival at the Brooklyn Historical Society on December 4th and 5th:

We are pleased to announce a two-day festival of Brooklyn-only documentaries at the Brooklyn Historical Society in Brooklyn Heights. This extraordinary opportunity to view many aspects of Brooklyn’s rich cultural history from many perspectives will illuminate the unique stories of the people, neighborhoods and communities of Brooklyn as they live through great changes caused by ongoing economic and cultural developments.

These documentaries will shine a light on many different Brooklyn neighborhoods and will include docs about

–The crisis of Astroland’s demise
–Memories of the violent 1980’s in Bushwick
–Homesteading in Red Hook
–Combative senior citizens in Park Slope
–Streetlife on Atlantic Avenue in 1972
–1985 Trinidadian celebrations in Crown Heights
–Homeless racing pigeons in Williamsburg
–Youthful angst in East Flatbush
–A family romp at Coney Island in 1969
–Remembering Barbra Streisand 
–1981 in Flatbush and and many other short documentaries

The Brooklyn Film & Arts Festival is dedicated to presenting Brooklyn’s rich cultural history through film, art and performance. We look forward to presenting the works of filmmakers whose films feature Brooklyn’s cultural history, communities and the stories of the people of Brooklyn.

The Where and When

The screenings will be held on December 4th and December 5th, 2008 at the Brooklyn Historical Society located at 128 Pierrepont Street in Brooklyn Heights. The programs begin at 6:00 pm on both days and suggested admission is $5.00. Please call (718) 222-4111 or visit our website www.brooklynhistory.org for more information.

Kidverse: Bagel, Bagel

Bagel, bagel, little roll,
Where’d you get that funny hole?
Smeared with cream cheese piled so high
That it reaches to the sky!

Bagel, bagel, little roll,
Where’s you get that funny hole?

Would  some butter do as well?
Fewer calories. docs yell;
Substitute some margarine
To avoid a double chin?

Bagel, bagel, little roll,
Where’s you get that funny hole?

Who has got possession of
Middle pieces that I love?
Does it go to kids who’re poor
Or just fall upon the floor?

Bagel, bagel, little roll,
Where’s you get that funny hole?

Can I make some into a necklace
Or is that considered reckless?
Squeeze one  with my mighty fist
So it fits my little wrist?

Bagel, bagel, little roll,
Where’s you get that funny hole?

Children tell me, is it true,
Bagels help when someone’s blue,
And on Saint Patrick’s Day,
They’re all green from kelly spray?

Bagel, bagel, little roll,
Where’s you get that funny hole?

What I’d really like to see
Is a bagel made for me–
Tasting sweet as sweet can be
Dough that’s sparkling with candee.

Bagel, bagel, little roll,
Where’s you get that funny hole?

Once a Lower East Side treat
Now you’re something that all eat,
Bagel, bagel, near and far,
Global crossover star.

Bagel, bagel, near and far,
Global crossover star.

Not Only Brooklyn (NOB) is back on AOL. Below is Neil’s explanation of what happened.  Turns out it wasn’t some kind of weird cultural blacklisting. One of NOB’s subscribers clicked the spam button rather than the unsubscribe button, which resulted in AOL’s alogirthms shutting NOB down for a few weeks, causing Neil much undue agita.

Okay dude, time to get back to work: we need to hear about all the wondrous cultural events that are going on this weekend.

    Finally got a phone call from AOL. Exactly as I suspected, some disgruntled subscriber couldn’t be bothered to unsubscribe, clicked in report spam multiple times, and the AOL algorithms, without any adult supervision, took note and eventually took action to close the account of this egregious spammer.

    The AOL adult supervisor apologized, confirmed the legitimacy of my NOB newsletters and that they merit white listing as legitimate bulk email, overruled the algorithms, and restored full account access during our conversation.

    However, there is still a problem. The AOL algorithms remain programmed to shut down any AOL member who persists in sending unsolicited emails. Which means NOB remains at risk of being shut down again by the same disgruntled subscriber who prefers to click on "report spam" than send me an email saying unsubscribe. I suggested a common sense approach, contacting the

    AOL member who insists on identifying arbrunr@aol.com as a serial spammer and asking said individual to simply unsubscribe, so I will know to stop sending NOB  to that particular subscriber who has changed his or her mind. He told me that AOL does not do that. But he promised to pass my suggestion along to senior management. And he gave me his direct phone number in case this happens again.

    My plan is to ask subscribers with AOL com addresses to confirm their desire to receive NOB. And to look into sending NOB from a free bulk email service such as Dada Mail – Mailing List Manager Although my longer term plan remains to hire a web programmer to help me transform NOB Arts newsletter into a web site. One that will be so user friendly, interactive, informative, searchable and fun to use that it will attract sufficient traffic to also attract the tasteful paid advertising that will make NOB self supporting.

An OTBKB reader sent in this link to a video of a speech by a disabled first grader, who happens to be a double amputee, at the opening of PS 10’s barrier free playground.

It is an astoundingly good speech — particularly coming right
before the Thanksgiving holiday.  I believe the child’s name is Jake
Lillis and he must be about six years old.  His remarks start about 30
seconds into this video.

On Friday, November 28, watch Marty Markowitz officially kick off “Brooklyn Friday”—formerly Black Friday—with a noontime “Shop Brooklyn” visit to The Spa & Wellness Center/Green Spa New York in Bay Ridge.

Sounds like he picked a nice spot to do the kick-off. I met the owners of this spa a the Gowanus Gren Festival last summer.

Founded in 1998, The Spa & Wellness Center is the city’s first all-green spa and first all-green building in Bay Ridge complete with ecycled natural furniture, walls, floors, and ceilings, solar power, and a selection of natural organic products and services.

So what is “Shop Brooklyn?"

    It’s an awareness campaign that highlights the uniqueness of Brooklyn’s neighborhoods and thriving shopping corridors, re-introducing Brooklyn to Brooklynites, and inviting tourists and visitors to experience this cultural and shopping destination—not just during the holidays, but year-round.

Look for the "Shop Brooklyn" logo in the window of participating retailers, restaurants, bars, and other service providers. Those establishments will offer special “Brooklyn Bonuses” this Friday and each weekend from November 22 through December 21.

Here’s a Thankgiving Smartmom from the Brooklyn Paper from few years ago.

Thanksgiving: that most American of holidays. Pumpkin pie. Football. Divorce.

For much of Smartmom’s childhood, Thanksgiving meant standing in
front of the Museum of Natural History waiting for Underdog and Mighty
Mouse to fly over.

The Macy’s parade would be followed by an enthusiastic gathering of
her extended family in the large, light-filled dining room of their
Riverside Drive apartment for a sumptuous meal, spirited discussion,
debate and her Great Aunt Beatrice’s delicious mashed sweet potatoes
with marshmallows.

Without fail, Nanny, Smartmom’s maternal grandmother, would say,
“Good eatin,’” plus a smattering of Yiddish words as a way to bless the
abundant feast that was topped off by too many slices of pie from
Greenberg’s Bakery on Madison Avenue.

But on the night before Thanksgiving the year she was 17, Smartmom
learned that her parents were separating. On Turkey Day, her father was
gone and her mother didn’t leave her bedroom.

It was sudden, it was quick. Her parent’s marriage was over and family life as she knew it was kaput.

Thanksgiving morning, Smartmom’s aunt picked up Smartmom and her sister.

“This is awful,” she said as she took Smartmom and Diaper Diva to
her home in Westchester where Smartmom’s maternal relatives were
gathered.

As she remembers it, nobody said a thing. It was the giant elephant; the great unmentionable.

Sitting at the huge Danish Modern dining table, Smartmom and Diaper
Diva felt like orphans as they worried about their mother and wondered
where their father had gone. The day went by in a blur of emotions. By
the time the football games were playing on the black-and-white
television, they already felt stigmatized by this unfortunate schism in
their domestic lives.

Back home, the apartment felt empty and sad. Her mother was asleep
and Smartmom sat in the living room and listened to the Laura Nyro
album, “Gonna Take a Miracle,” feeling too confused to cry and too
anxious to sleep.

Less than a year later, Smartmom left for college and an independent
life of her own. She can barely remember the next Thanksgiving or the
ones after that. Like most kids of divorce, she made a valiant effort
to adjust to the new normal: life without an intact family.

Over time, Smartmom and Diaper Diva got used to their holidays being
divvied up like portions of cake. Her mother always got Thanksgiving.
Her father got Christmas. Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Passover were
up for grabs.

Nothing was written down or settled in a legal way; her parents
weren’t legally divorced for years to come. So Smartmom and her sister
were basically winging it every holiday.

It often came down to which parent needed them more. In so many
ways, divorce forces the child to grow up fast and interpret the needs
of their parents.

This can make the child feel responsible for a parent’s happiness or
unhappiness in ways that are definitely not all that healthy for young
children.

Even in this enlightened day and age, when divorce is understood as
the monster it is, divorced parents continue to try to split their
children in two.

Nowadays, most of the divorced parents Smartmom knows have it in
writing which parent their children will be with on each holiday until
the child is 18.

Typically, the big-ticket holidays are divided up like a bucket of coins. Luckily there are eight days of Hannukah.

One thing’s for sure: Mom always gets Mother’s Day. Dad has Father’s Day.

Sometimes the children become a rope in the battle between the
parents. Some parents end up in court fighting over scheduling matters.

Smartmom knows some divorced parents who do unusual things to keep their child’s needs front and center.

One kid she knows spends Christmas morning with both parents and
their significant others. Mom, Dad, stepmom and stepdad open presents
together and even share some food.

But this kind of arrangement is very rare. Not every divorced couple is quite that civilized—or flexible.

Civilized or not, the more thought the parents give to the emotional
needs of their children the better off those kids will be. While many
parents are well meaning, the contentiousness sometimes clouds their
ability to do what is right for their kids.

Kids are resilient, and Smartmom is as resilient as they come. But
sometimes this so-called resiliency can cover up the pain that is
really going on inside.

Smartmom isn’t sure any child of divorce ever adjusts to the split.
Sure they go along with it because they have to. But in the end, it is
the children more than the parents who suffer because of it.

Smartmom’s parents’ divorce is the great before/after event in her
life. It has affected her relationships, her sense of self, and her
ability to love.

And the fact that the split occurred on Thanksgiving means her great
American holiday is still colored by that life-changing event.

It still hurts that Smartmom never gets to see her father carve the turkey or make the first Thanksgiving toast.

But she’s used to it. By now, she has spent many more Thanksgivings without her dad than with him.

Still, that doesn’t mean that she’s not thinking about him. It’s a
split-screen life for kids of divorce. You go through the holiday with
one parent while you imagine what the other parent is up to. You worry
about them, think of them, hope they’re doing well.

Children of divorce learn to be in two places at once: Where they
are and where the other parent is. In this way, they keep the family
together. If only in the mind.

New York Family is throwing a Holiday Fun Fest for families in Brooklyn. At this fun shindig in groovy Williamsburg there will be:

–Live Music by Mr.Ray!

–Glitzy Chicks Face Painting!                

–Special Guest named Santa!

–Cartoon Portraits by Z-Man! Live Magician!

–Goodie Bags!

The Where and When

Sunday, December 7, 2008
from Noon to 3pm
at the Edge Sales Office
135 Kent Avenue at North 6th Street
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Take the L Train to Bedford Avenue

Register now at New York Family

Bonus: The First 150 families to register and attend will be eligible to WIN Broadway Show tickets for four! 

This free event will benefit Toys for Tots
Please bring a new unwrapped toy to donate!

Card by http://berkowhat.com/hanukkah

Daniel Goldstein and
Shabnam Merchant, the founders of Develop Don’t Destroy, a community based group opposed to Forest City Ratner’s 8 million square
      foot "Atlantic Yards" development, are the proud parents of a six-pound, five-ounce baby girl born on November 9th. Her name is Sita Dorothy Goldstein.

The Park Slope Child Care Collective (186 St John’s at 7th Ave) is having it’s annual Kindergarten forum on Dec 4th at 6:30 p.m.

At this event, there will be representatives from local public schools and Pamela Wheaton from
insideschools.org will be speaking. 

It should be very helpful to people looking for more information about out-of-zone schools.

The Where and When

Annual Kindergarten Forum
December 4th at 6:30 p.m.
Park Slope Child Care Collective
186 St. John’s at 7th Avenue

On Sunday nights OSFO and I like to watch ABC’s Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters so you can imagine our disappointment that the American Music Awards was on instead. We slogged through performances by the Jonas Brothers and the Pussycat Girls but enjoyed watching Alicia Keys sing her hit, Superwoman with Queen Latifah and opera singer Kathleen Battle.

Superwoman by Alicia Keys

Everywhere I’m turning
Nothing seems complete
I stand up and I’m searching
For the better part of me
I hang my head from sorrow
Slave to humanity
I wear it on my shoulders
Gotta find the strength in me

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Still when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman

For all the mothers fighting
For better days to come
And all my women, all my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun
And all my sisters
Coming together
Say yes I will
Yes I can

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Still when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman

When I’m breaking down
And I can’t be found
And I start to get weak
Cause no one knows
Me underneath these clothes
But I can fly
We can fly, Oooohh

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Still when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman

The Old Stone House, Willie’s Dawg’s and Seaworthy Films present an evening of award-winning short films to benefit the National Disaster Search Dog Foundation on Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 7:30 pm. 

The mission of the National Disaster Search Dog Foundation (SDF) is to produce the most highly trained canine disaster search teams in the nation.  The job of these teams is to find people buried alive in the wreckage of natural disasters and terrorist attacks.  To create these teams, SDF recruits rescued dogs from shelters and breed rescue groups, gives them professional training, and partners them with firefighters and other first responders at no cost to their departments.  SDF ensures lifetime care for every dog in its program: once rescued, SDF dogs will never need to be rescued again.

The Old Stone House is in JJ Byrne Park, between 3rd and 4th Streets, just off Fifth Avenue, in Park Slope, Brooklyn.  For more information, please call 718-768-3195, or visit the Old Stone House website at www.theoldstonehouse.org.

Willie’s Dawgs, a restaurant serving high-quality franks and sides, is named in homage to owners Ellen Lutter and Tom Anderson’s beloved late black lab Willie.  It is located at 351 Fifth Avenue in Brooklyn, New York.   Willie’s is committed to making the world a better place for humans and dogs.  For more information call 718-832-2941.

Pix by electronaut on Flickr

The Where and When

Shorts 4 Dogs
December 4th at 7:30 p.m.
The Old Stone House
Fifth Avenue and 3rd Street in Park Slope
Tickets are $20, available at the door and at
www.williesdawgs.com/events.html, including beer, popcorn and fabulous
hot dogs from Willie’s Dawgs.  Call 718-768-3195 for more information.

I bumped onto your blog and thought  about sending you a picture
that I took two days ago, it was taken in a subway elevator at Clark Street Station.

photo by Rodolph Vernaz-Colas

Okay. So I finally succumbed. Last week I called Eleanor Traubman of Creative Times and a professional organizer and cried, SOS. I was feeling completely overwhelmed and disorganized and I could not face the big green tub of unopened mail I had to look at and file.

Luckily Eleanor had time the very next day to come over. Phew. What a life saver.

How to describe what Eleanor does. First of all, she is very calm and calming and she doesn’t judge. Maybe she was just being nice, but she didn’t faint when she saw my existing filing system or the huge tub of mail.

Then we sat down and began to organize me. Basically she taught me a couple of tricks. The first one is a wonderful acronym: RAFT.

I kept thinking life raft and what a life saver Eleanor is.

R means refer. A means action. F means file. T means toss.

So that’s what we did for the better part of two hours. And as we did this, Eleanor created these lovely file labels for me and I felt like a patient in a nice warm bed getting chicken soup in the form of organized files.

After two hours life saver Eleanor left me with a shopping list and a smile. Oh and an appointment for next week. Her number is this. Call her now if you need SOS: 917-499-7395.

A new episode from  Michael D. Nolan’s Brooklyn Memoir:  Proximity: What can happen when we live, work and love close together.

I walk by elementary schools these days and see parents waiting in double-parked cars to fetch their kids. It was not ever thus. P.S. 99 was and still is located on East 10th Street, between Avenues L & K, in the Midwood section of Brooklyn. I lived just down the block and across the street at 1181 East 10th Street, a semi-detached 2-story stucco-clad home which my parents bought in 1948.

I went home for lunch and my mother made it. Wow. A winter-time favorite was a grilled cheese sandwich dipped in tomato soup. "Ma, make it for me just one more time."

I never thought of myself as particularly smart or popular. But my teachers and classmates declared I was. I got A’s or 90% + on my report cards in every subject. Still have the original records to prove it.

Woody Allen graduated from P.S. 99 six years before I did. I never met him (Alan Konisberg) but my Mom would run into his mother at Waldbaum’s supermarket on Coney Island Avenue. In Woody’s 1983 film, "Zelig", the psychiatrist portrayed by Mia Farrow is named "Eudora Fletcher." Eudora Fletcher was the principal of P.S. 99 in Woody’s era and mine.

The tougher kids, as would befit the stereotype, were Italian. There were the Sirico brothers, Junior and Tony, who would shake down Jewish kids on their way to school. Their parents owned a popular candy store on Coney Island Avenue. Today, Tony Sirico plays "Paulie Walnuts" on the Sopranos.

As we entered the 8th grade, some friends suggested I run for President of the graduating class. I agreed. Running on the Blue & Gold ticket with Ellen Rather as my VP running mate. We won.

In June of 1955 at our 8th Grade Graduation in the Vogue Theater, I addressed the student body in my role as President: "It is with a heavy heart I greet you today…" Words composed by my speechwriter Miss Reilly, an elegant 8th grade teacher. My classmates also voted me All-Around Boy and Boy Most Likely to Succeed. Did I peak too soon? I’d like to think I’m still trying to fulfill the expectations of my fellow students.

50 years later, I helped convene my 8th Grade class for a reunion at our P.S. 99 alma mater. I contacted Woody’s agent to see if he might join us. He was filming "Hannah and her Sisters" in London and couldn’t attend, but appreciated the invitation. Tried to get Tony Sirico through his younger brother, a priest in Michigan, but it seems he’s shy off camera. Or maybe a few of the Jewish kids would like to have a word with him.