Friday evening at 7 p.m. friends called to say they were taking the shuttle bus to the new IKEA in Red Hook. The furniture behemeth closes at 10 p.m. and they were on the look-out for a new dining room table.

Fun, we thought and instantly decided to tag along though we were too late to catch the same bus they were catching.

At 8 p.m. we arrived at Ninth Street and Fourth Avenue and saw the bright yellow free shuttle bus. People streamed off with their large blue IKEA bags stuffed with IKEA items. We tried to get on but the driver informed us that the IKEA-bound bus stop is across the street on the northeast corner of 9th and Fourth in front of the church.

Indeed, when we got over there we a sign for the IKEA shuttle. It’s also where you get the B77 bus, which goes to, you guessed it, IKEA Plaza in Red Hook.

We should have hopped on that bus, Gus (and paid the fare). But we waited and waited with a small crowd for that free yellow shuttle. We even saw two dark green IKEA buses on the other side of the street (and then disappeared). But no IKEA-bound bus.

By 8:40 we decided it was a dumb idea to go to IKEA that late. While, OSFO had her heart set on looking at loft beds and Hepcat was looking forward to Swedish meatballs, it just didn’t make sense.

Finally, we decided to abort our IKEA mission. With no bus in site, we walk east to Fifth Avenue and ate dinner int he backyard at Willie’s Dawgs.

Later, we ran into our friends on Seventh Avenue. They had no trouble riding the IKEA shuttle from Park Slope. Her husband and son, however, grew weary of circling the store looking at furniture and home items they have no interest in.

When my friend wanted to browse in the Marketplace her husband snapped. “That’s it. It’s time to go.” Clearly, he had reached his big box store threshold.

A huge crowd boarded a bus at IKEA Plaza, which was overcrowded and sweltering. My friend’s husband was convinced that the air conditioner was malfunctioning. With no windows open, the bus was unbearably hot and stinky.

When my friend’s husband exited the bus he ventured to tell the driver that the air conditioning wasn’t working.

“Oh,” the driver said. “I forgot to put it on.”

Ever wonder how a French bistro got that way? An article in the Times about the man who designed Belleville on Fifth Avenue and 5th Street in Park Slope and other bistros around town.

A Frenchman named Alex Gherab designed this place and many other Left Bank composites, including Belleville in Park Slope, Felix in SoHo, and Juliette in Williamsburg. A short, brusque tornado of a man, with ink-black hair and full beard, Mr. Gherab sweeps into a room with a vision of France in his head. He is aided by his brother, a demolition worker in the French town of Lille, and by a network of “pickers” that he maintains worldwide to collect objects of disparate provenance to outfit their spaces: twin doors from a post office, great lamps from a Calais asylum.

Here’s this week’s Smartmom from the award-winning Brooklyn Paper:

Hepcat and The Oh So Feisty One spent the night before her graduation from PS 321 coloring her hair blue. Hepcat is quite the artiste when it comes to applying Manic Panic hair color with a paintbrush (it must be all those painting classes he took with renowned abstract artist Elizabeth Murray at Bard College back in the 1970s).

OSFO had her heart set on peacock blue and she’d designed her graduation outfit around it.

It took more than two hours, but when Hepcat was done, OSFO shampooed her hair and stared at herself in the hallway mirror, pleased with the results.

On graduation morning, she was a sight to behold: Electric blue hair, a white Empire waist dress with blue polka dots, black leggings and, the final touch, royal blue Converse high tops.

Voila.

The family, including a reluctant Teen Spirit and a less-reluctant Diaper Diva, walked proudly to the John Jay HS building on Seventh Avenue with their color-coordinated soon-to-be graduate.

Smartmom admired the other fifth-grade girls in their festive attire. Some wore high heels they could barely walk in. Even the boys made an effort to dress up, wearing suits, jackets, oversized button-down shirts, ties, good shoes, and hats.

Smartmom, Hepcat and Teen Spirit found seats in the balcony of the stifling auditorium. There was speechifying by fifth graders that tugged at Smartmom’s heart. One kid, a budding politician no doubt, spoke portentously, “This is not just the best school in the city, it’s the best school in the world!” Others talked about the friends they’d made, the teachers they’d loved and all the interesting things they’d learned.

The principal spoke directly to the kids: “As people, you understand the importance of working together and making each other look good.”

Borough President Markowitz delighted (the parents, at least) with his speech about eating right and getting exercise. But when he asked, “Any doctors in the house? Any lawyers? Any future borough presidents?” Smartmom was disappointed. What about artists, actors, and writers?

Marty ended the speech, as he has done for years, with a “Star Wars”-style light saber in his hand, “May the force be with you,” he said.

Teen Spirit napped, Hepcat snapped pictures, Smartmom skipped around to empty seats visiting friends.

Finally, the children received their diplomas. One by one, every name was called. Smartmom and Diaper Diva went downstairs to get a better view of OSFO receiving sheepskin. Then the children sang “Yonder Come Day,” a rousing Negro spiritual.

According to OSFO, none of the children wanted to sing that song. They wanted to sing, “Seasons of Love” from “Rent.” But you could barely discern their ambivalence because they sang so movingly and with such enthusiasm.

Smartmom cried, experiencing some release from the build-up of the last few weeks: the waiting to hear about middle school, the many end-of-year events, the endless sense of ending. It felt cathartic.

After the graduation ceremony, there were still two more school days before the last day of school. The kids aren’t required to attend — they’ve graduated after all. But most of them enjoy cleaning up their classrooms and hanging out with their teachers and friends.

On the last official day of school, it rained, and the playground began to clear not long after the noon dismissal. Parents clutched report cards, test scores, shopping bags stuffed with schoolwork, artwork, clay sculptures.

Some fifth graders cried. Some, like blue-haired OSFO, were very “whatever.” One mom’s eye make-up was blurry and black from the sadness and the humidity.

Another mommy friend told Smartmom, “You know, we’re moving…”

OSFO’s second-grade teacher looked on in disbelief that this class was moving on to the next big thing. Smartmom felt tears coming on for this beautiful, young teacher, who had some of these fifth graders in her very first class.

Smartmom ran into OSFO’s third-grade teacher, a spirited woman with a warm face.

“So this is it,” she said to Smartmom and gave her a hug. More tears just below the surface. As the backyard emptied in the light rain, Smartmom didn’t know what to do with herself. As she has done all year, OSFO was already on her way to a friend’s house.

Smartmom stood alone, looking for someone to talk to. And then it dawned on her: She has no business at this elementary school anymore. Sure, she could hang around at drop off, pick up and watch the parents of younger children as they move through the steps of elementary school. She could even pretend to have a child going there.

But what would be the point? Smartmom is no longer part of this place that engaged her in so many ways for 11 years. Without a child in school, the time has come to let go.

Next fall, OSFO, with her blue-streaked hair, will catch the B67 bus to her new school, New Voices.

And Smartmom will also begin a new adventure. She’s ready (she thinks!).

Gowanus or Park Slope you pick. Some activities for a glorious Saturday.

The Yard (right next to the Carroll Street Bridge) presents Oneida, High Places, Titus Adronicus, Shy Child, Chinese Stars, Ponytail, Telepathe, Vivian Girls, Abe Vigoda, Knyfe Hyts, Soft Circle, Soiled Mattress & The Springs. 10 bucks and the festivities begin at 12 noon. The Yard is an outdoor space on the banks of the Gowanus, where Issue Project Room use to be. They’ve got picnic tables, and food and drink for sale.

Celebrate Brooklyn at 7:30 p.m. presents Beth Orton and Matt Munister.

JJ Byrne Park presents the Piper Theater’s production of Midsummer Night’s Dream at 8 p.m.

Brownstoner broke the story. McBrooklyn’s been following it. Brooklyn Paper had this:

There goes the “there goes the neighborhood” story.

Word that the federal court system would open a probation office on Pierrepont Street, next to St. Ann’s School, spread like wildfire through Brooklyn Heights on Friday, with residents fretting that the facility posed a clear and present danger to neighborhood kids — but it turns out that two such offices have been operating in the area since the 1970s.

The “new” center would actually be a consolidation of the existing probation offices, one of which is at 75 Clinton St., between Montague and Remsen streets, near the Packer Collegiate Institute; and the other at 111 Livingston St. at Adams Street, near a Quaker elementary school. But few knew that the offices were operating in the area — and an initial report on the Web site Brownstoner.com only fanned the flames.

“Unbelievable; it is almost like there is a group conspiring to ruin all of the progress made over the last 10 years or so,” one person posted below the Brownstoner report.

Elected officials were flooded with calls from scandalized parents, prompting Rep. Nydia Velazquez (D–Gowanus) to issue this statement: “Locating a parole office just steps away from a school is extremely troubling from a school is extremely troubling. Anything that puts the security of our children at risk is unacceptable.”

I am very aware of the Knitting Factory these days because The Mighty Handful have played there a bunch of times.

Back in the 1980’s when we were East Village dwellers we made frequent trips to the Houston Street Knitting Factory to hear John Zorn, Joel Forrester, the Microscopic Quintet, Jonathan Richman, and Zeena Parkins (pictured left).

That’s my version of the Knitting Factory.

Yesterday my dad told me that he read in the Times that they’re opening a place in Williamsburg and “someplace else really weird,” he said.

Well, that someplace else really weird is: Boise, Idaho. Also Spokane, Washington.

So, in addition to venues in Boise and Spokane, the Knitting Factory is coming to 361 Metropolitan Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

“We don’t have to be the biggest kids in New York City to be the Knitting Factory. What we do have to have is a pipeline that brings us the most exciting new music from the cities where the newest, most exciting new music is being created,” owner Jared Hoffman told the New York Times.

Photo of Zeena Parkins from her website.

A rollicking, frolicking Midsummer Night’s Dream delighted a large opening night crowd on the green in JJ Byrne Park on Thursday night.

And what a night it was. The weather was glorious, the sky clear, the half moon luminous and bright.

Directed by John P. McEneny, who teaches drama at MS 51 and runs the Piper Theater, this version of MSND takes place in 1908 Coney Island, a natural setting for the play. “The parks at Coney Island symbolized a reachable escape, a place where almost anyone could go for a day and get lost in the crowd. It was a place where everyone was searching for fun and often found it in the exotic displays or seemingly death-defying rides,” writes Rosa Schneider, Piper’s dramaturg.

Indeed, Shakespeare’s popular play is all about magic, escape, identity, and the fantastical. What better way to bring it home to a Brooklyn audience then to set it in our very own urban dreamland.

There were many highpoints in last night’s show, which will run this weekend and next in the park located at Fifth Avenue and Third Street in Park Slope, but the cast’s high energy, high octane performance of the play surely gave it the kind of bigger-than-life impact that works wonders in an outdoor show.

Still, the fairy dances were gently rendered even as airplanes passed overhead. A strong cast really packed a wollop in a production that was alternately bawdy, poetic, magical, sexy, acrobatic and really fun in all the right ways.

Owen Campbell, a 14-year-old professional actor, was notable in the role of Puck. But all the actors brought great energy and joie de vivre to Piper’s memorable version of the play. The lovely set by Lila Trenkova, complete with life guard chairs and twinkling lights, transformed the park. Costumes by Deirdre Cavanaugh were also a treat, as was the sound design by Andy Christian.

An excerpt from NY1:

City officials confirmed Thursday that they plan to implement a pilot program this fall that would double parking meter rates during peak hours.

The goal is to increase turnover in parking spots, so drivers will spend less time looking for parking, which, in turn, could cut down congestion, pollution, and the number of people who double-park or park in bus lanes.

For now, the new rates are only scheduled to apply to meters in two test zones: one along a yet-to-be-determined stretch of Kings Highway and on adjacent streets in Midwood, Brooklyn and the other in parts of Greenwich Village in Manhattan.

In Greenwich Village, parking meters currently charge 25 cents for 15 minutes. In the fall, a quarter will only buy six or seven minutes of parking time

.

The other day I spoke with Jake, a local homeless man who often sits on a plastic milk crate in front of the Ace Supermarket on Berkeley Place and Seventh Avenue. He told me that, with the help of Old First’s Pastor Daniel Meeter, he’s close to moving into an apartment arranged by Common Ground, an agency that places homeless in apartments. Currently he rents a room that costs $20 a night somewhere. “There’s a shower there and a place to put my stuff but I’d rather have my own place,” he told me.

That is very good news for Jake, who is already thinking about buying furniture at the Salvation Army.

Jake also told me that one of the three men who used to sleep on the steps of Old First Church was in prison for “sleeping in the Citibank.” I have yet to verify that but I was wondering where he’d gone to.

Today’s Brooklyn Paper has a good story about the homeless men of Old First:

The last of four homeless men who camped out at Old First Church is now sleeping elsewhere, though he still commutes to “work” every day.

Robert Royster and his army of the night flashed into the neighborhood’s consciousness last winter, thanks to a crusade by Old First’s pastor, Rev. Daniel Meeter, who recorded his struggles with the homeless men on his blog (yes, a priest with a blog).

The Paper calls Park Slope’s Coalition for the Homeless, created by Pastor Meeter and Rabbi Andy Bachman, a success. The group was formed after Meeter came public with his frustration that three homeless men were making the steps of the church their home. He wrote about it on his blog and galvanized the community to do something about the situation.

Obviously the group has been busy trying to find suitable homes for these men. Meeter well understands the difficulty of helping men, who place a great value on their independence and freedom.

“One of the reasons homeless people are homeless is because of how much they value their freedom and independence,” Meeter said, suggesting that traditional homeless shelters and programs don’t always work because potential clients view the programs as “having to spend a week with the in-laws,” Meeter told the Brooklyn Paper.

Robert Royster, one of the Old First homeless, accepted an apartment in Flatlands last month. He now commutes to his panhandling spot in front of Old First Church on Seventh Avenue daily.

How did I miss this? I guess I’ve been distracted or something. Maybe it was the heat.

On July 5th, Pastor Daniel Meeter, of Old First Church, posted this good news about the homeless men, who used to make their home on the steps of that church.

Well, good news. We’ve got our homeless men housed. The Three Homeless of Old First, plus three more who came to Old First asking for help. Thanks to Common Ground, and the city’s Department of Homeless Services, we’ve got a little thing going. Hooray.

Now the Park Slope Coalition for the Homeless, which includes Old First, Congregation Beth Elohim, the Park Slope Civic Council and some neighbors, is working on the next step, which is gathering all those things people need, as Meeter puts it, to turn a house into a home: Frying Pans. Curtains. Tea Towels. Dishes. Napkins (I must say his inclusion of tea towels on the list is very endearing).

Here are the details and ways that you can help:

Common Ground has selected ten clients (including the three who used to live on the steps of Old First) to receive housewarming care packages. Common Ground will help the clients with their wish lists (dishes, linens, bath accessories, small kitchen appliances, etc.). Once they finish the wish lists, it’s our turn to get to work.

First, we’ll collect donated items on the wish lists, from now through July 27. Next, we’ll have volunteers work with the DHS to gather the donations and package them for delivery to the clients, and then deliver them, starting at the beginning of August.

For personal items, we’ll help the clients choose their own items. They’ll get gift cards to use at a the store of their choice. We’ll need volunteers to assist the clients on their shopping trips, accompanied by a staff member from Common Ground or DHS.

Won’t you join us in this exciting opportunity to help our less fortunate neighbors? You can sign up with us at our coffee hour after church on Sundays. Or you can call the church office and leave your name and contact information. 718-638-8300

.

You’ve probably seen them all over the Slope: those small, red laminated sign that says, No Flyers Ads Menus. Well, they were created by the Park Slope Civic Council.

I know that people are wondering how to get one. Well here’s what you can do:

Download a “No Flyers, No Ads, No Menus” sign, a legally compliant (but less attractive) version of the sign, or a “Sorry Neighbor for Blocking Your Car” double-parking placard.

You can also pick up the PSCC version of the “No Flyers, No Ads, No Menus” signs at these neighborhood locations:

Community Bookstore
143 7th Avenue between Carroll and Garfield

Lion in the Sun
232 7th Avenue near 4th Street

Brown Harris Stevens
100 7th Avenue at Union Street

Warren Lewis Realty
123A 7th Avenue between Carroll and President Streets

Orrichio Anderson Realty
302 7th Avenue between 7th and 8th Streets

Assemblyman Jim Brennan’s District Office
416 7th Avenue between 13th and 14th Streets

Two versions are available:
Static Cling Version designed for the inside of glass panels on front doors.
Laminated Version designed to be tied into wrought iron gates.

Here’s an update from City Councilmember Bill De Blasio about the DOT’s suspension of alternate side parking in Park Slope and other areas of Brooklyn:

Starting Monday alternate side parking rules will go back into effect in Park Slope and street sweepers will resume collection of trash and debris from neighborhood streets.

As some of you may know, on July 7th, the DOT suspended alternate side parking rules in Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill, Boerum Hill, and Gowanus. The affected area extends east to west from Court Street to Fourth Avenue, and from Wyckoff Street and St. Marks Place south to the Gowanus Expressway and 15th Street.

The DOT estimates that it will take six to eight weeks to replace all signs in these areas. I will ensure that all affected residents are notified as soon as the rules are reinstated in these areas.

If you would like more information on the dates of these suspensions or on the areas affected by these changes, please contact my office at 718-854-9791.

Bird, the trendy, tres-chic boutique in the South Slope is closing its Seventh Avenue store and opening a much larger store on Grand Street in Williamsburg. If I am not mistaken, Jennifer Mankins, who owns the shop, is also opening a branch on Fifth Avenue.

On Brownstoner, Mankins is writing a weekly post about the renovation of her new 2000 square foot space in Williamsburg. Here’s an excerpt. There’s lots to read over there.

“A self-confessed fashion and real estate junkie, I am always plotting and planning new branches and outposts of the store – baby bird, green bird, bird dog, birdhouse, birdbath. My current stores, both located in typical 20’x40’ townhouses, are approximately 800 square feet, and I carry over 100 women’s designers. You can do the math. There just isn’t any extra space for adding new products. So I started thinking bigger. Instead of opening five separate small stores, why not put everything under one roof – a one-stop shop for the urban Brooklyn family?”

Today is opening day for the Theatre Development Fund’s TKTS booth in Brooklyn for the first time since 1993, offering discounts of up to 50% on tickets to Broadway and Off-Broadway shows.

Theater just became a little more affordable for Brooklynites.

I’m going to try to get over there today to catch the ribbon cutting ceremony that will include the Forbidden Broadway performance.

The first 250 ticket buyers at the booth – located on the ground floor of 1 MetroTech at Jay St. and Myrtle Ave. – will get $25 gift certificates that may be used for subsequent purchases.

The booth will open at 11 a.m. The ribbon cutting is at 10:15.

According to the Daily News, people are taking advantage of Ikea’s free bus and ferry – without ever going into the Swedish furniture behemoth.

The coach-style buses look very nice. I see them on Fourth Avenue but they usually look empty to me. In Park Slope, you can get the bus at the Fourth Avenue F train station weekdays and weekends.

But the Daily News reports that people are using it like a free alternative to the MTA. Especially since not much in the way of public transport gets you to Red Hook. Here’s an excerpt from the Daily News story.

“It’s like a free car service,” said Bianca Colon, 19, who works at a summer program at Public School 27 on Huntington St. in Red Hook, and takes the bus from downtown Brooklyn near her home. “It takes us straight downtown and I don’t have to wait for the bus to stop every block to let people on and off.”
Colon took the city bus to her summer job for several weeks before discovering the swank Ikea alternative.

“It’s got AC; it doesn’t get overcrowded,” she said. “You have your own space. It’s strange, but people are more behaved on this bus. It’s just more relaxing.”

The free bus service transports passengers from Red Hook to stops on Court St. and to subway stations at Fourth Ave. and Smith and Ninth Sts. every 15 minutes during store hours.

Thrifty bus riders aren’t the only ones taking advantage of Ikea’s services. City residents are also saving $6 each way and taking the store’s free water taxi to and from Wall Street.

“It’s such a nice ride, I’d almost be happy to pay for it,” said Steve Riley, 40, who lives in Park Slope, takes the Ikea bus and then transfers to the Ikea water taxi for his job in SoHo. “It was so very different from the miserable experience of the subway and I got to see all four of the waterfalls.”

This new declaration, written in the spirit of the Declaration of Independence, rejects the unwarranted sacrifice of fundamental liberties in the name of security.

The U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights offer protection and remedies for government assaults on civil liberties–but only if they are enforced.

Find out more about the People’s Campaign for the Constitution: www.constitutioncampaign.org.

Perfect weather in the forecast for the premiere of Piper Theater’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream in JJ Byrne Park. The show has a Coney Island theme and it should be great fun and very good. I’ve caught a bit of the tech rehearsals and I am so psyched to see the show as directed by John P. McEneny, who is beloved in Park Slope for his masterful role as MS 51’s drama teacher. He also runs Piper Theater.

Piper Theatre Productions was created by siblings, John and Rachel McEneny, who in the summer of 2001 created their first production; a rough and tumble production of MacBeth with wooden swords starring Elaine Bianchi and Bruce Sabath (most recently seen in John Doyle’s revival of Company on Broadway.) The first four seasons were held on the grounds of Untermyer Park in Yonkers, NY.

In the Summer of 2006, at the invitation of Kim Maier and the board of the Old Stone House, Piper made the decision to move its base of operations from Yonkers to Park Slope, Brooklyn, NY.

For the past three years, the education program has expanded ten fold and has become one of the most popular and affordable summer programs in the neighborhood. Local children from the Park Slope area have performed youth productions of Winters Tale (2006; dir. J. McE), Hamlet (2007; dir J. McE), Midsummer (2006; dir. Ezra Barnes), Twelfth Night (2007; dir. Ezra Barnes), Romeo & Juliet (2007; dir. Wendy Peace), MacBeth (2007; dir Thomas Hoagland).

The main stage shows (Much Ado About Nothing 2006; dir. Cecilia Rubino & MacBeth 2007; dir J. McEneny) met with huge audiences in J.J. Byrne Park.

And tonight….JJ Byrne Park. Fifth Avenue and 3rd Street in Park Slope. 8 p.m.

.

I refer you to Kristin Goode, About.com’s Brooklyn expert. She does a great, great job. Check out her July calendar.

Last week we celebrated U.S. independence, but this weekend it’s time to wave the French flag: Bastille Day festivities are taking place on Sunday, July 13. Head to Smith Street, where thousands of Francophiles from throughout the city will be gathering for a day of live music, French food, specialty cocktails, and, of course, the 6th annual Bastille Day Pétanque Tournament.

The celebration will last from 12pm to 8pm, in the areas surrounding Smith Street and Dean Street. All proceeds from the Tournament will benefit the local Brooklyn Community Board.