I really do get the sense that Commerce Bank is trying VERY hard to make up for the fact that everyone is pissed off at them.

Thanks to Aaron Naparstek and others who fought the original drive-thru design and sucessfully got the bank to reconsider, the bank is now just a banal glass and glitz Florida-style bank (or what I imagine a Florida-style bank to be).

How do you spell non-contextual architecture?

As one Fifth Avenue resident said, " Too bad they didn’t do a nice, apporpriate facade that would have blended in with the Avenue."

But what would they have done with all the glass and glitz?

They must know that everyone is pissed off. The scowling, growling, "I can’t believe this place" looks from passersby might be a tip off.

Also, they being so darn nice. Giving out nice blue pens, lollipops, free savings accounts for kids, toasters.

Maybe it is a nice bank. A useful bank. On Sunday, Daughter and I used their Penny Arcade coin-counting machine. The bank manager, an attractive young woman in super high heels,  helped us, even standing over us and hitting the "Go" button with her long, polished nails as we poured our El Pico can of coins into the slot. BRIGHT RED NAILS.

I love the Penny Arcade. And I love that the place is open 24/7 (what’s the deal? do they ever close? Can you open an account at 3 am on a Saturday night?). There’s this big glitzy conference room and I can’t help but wonder what’s gonna go on in there.

The bank does have an old-fashioned, "when banks had tellers" feeling to it. It’s decidedly not about ATM access. And that’s really new in an old sort of way. They called me today because I put my name on a list for a Safe Deposit Box.

:"The keys came in today, Miss Crawford. Come in anytime, we’re here."

So do we love them or do we hate them? I’m leaning toward liking the bank and resenting the building.  And really disliking the corporation for even thinking that Park Slope needed a drive-thru.

Yet, the fact that they were willing to modify their plan says a lot.

But the fact that they even wanted to do it in the first place is pretty awful.

–Did they even bother to learn the architectural history of this neighborhood?

–Did they bother to admire the Slope’s fine turn-of-the-century architecture?

–Did they really think we drive cars around here (I guess people do but we’re walkers god-damnit – walkers).

The whole thing is as weird-minded as that bank manager in her high heels thinking we needed to be watched over like that while we counted our pennies.

Hey guys,  FIFTH AVENUE is an incredible example of an early 20th century American shopping streets. It’s STILL a lot like that tinted photographic mural on YOUR wall (of turn-of-the- century 7th Avenue).

Fifth Avenue’s old/new balance is changing. Now, the new is out-numbering the old. It’s mostly new shops now. But you gotta love the way the old shops are hanging on: The Pork Shop, the Dance Clothing Store, Shoe Problems, Ask Joe. Next door to Joe’s, the social club, has been rented, I hear, by Steve Buscemi and the guy from The Sopranos, so that place will live on too (it’s okay to clean it up, but keep the aura, guys).

So Commerce Bank, you’ve made quite a splash bringing your big, Florida-style bank to Brooklyn. What were you thinking? Really, what were you thinking?