I ran into A at the Chip Shop recently. She is doing very well. The new house is still being renovated. But they have more space than they ever imagined. A lovely mother and her two teenage children have moved into A’s apartment.

A, Smartmom’s neighbor of nearly twelve years, is moving out today. She is
finally moving into the brownstone she bought and renovated on Ninth
Street. The movers came last week and yesterday she had her final
apartment sale. Strangers were coming in the building all day to pick
through baby clothes, toys, children’s book and kitchen utensils.

Smartmom
is sad to see A go although they never really connected as friends.
They were, however, good neighbors. Whenever they saw each other they’d
say hello, inquire about one another’s children and ask how life was
going. On occasion they helped each other out. A would ask for
Smartmom’s help in small ways: Can you let the exterminator in? Can
Hepcat fix my computer? Do you mind lending us a copy of "The Great
Gatsby," my son has an English paper due?

Smartmom always kept a copy of A’s key just in case. That sort of thing.

Hepcat
once asked A, who is a lawyer, for legal advice. It was years ago
when he was signing an intellectual property clause on an employment
contract. She was extremely helpful and forthcoming with information
and names of specialists in that field.

When A’s great aunt
died, Smartmom invited her in for a cup of tea. She was,
understandably, feeling out of sorts and said it was strange to be home
alone with such sad news. A told Smartmom all about her Aunt, who was
an inspiring and loving figure in her life. Smartmom checked in a few
times to see how she was doing. She seemd to appreciate that.

But,
for the most part, Smartmom kept a respectful distance. You know that
old adage: Fences make good neighbors. It applies to emotional fences
too. Maybe because of this, unkind words never passed between them. A did once rightfully complain about some boxes that Hepcat left in the
hallway. But other than that, she never once complained about noise or
anything else. And that’s exceptional for nearly 12 years of living
side by side.

Smartmom observed A’s life from a neighborly
distance. A divorcee, she dated various men until she met the wonderful
one who smokes a cigar, who is now her partner. Her son, who was only 6
or 7 when Smartmom moved in, is now a handsome, buff, and friendly high
school junior.

For years, Smartmom has seen his dad drop him
off at the building after their mid-week afternoon and evening
together. Smartmom has discerned tension between A and her ex on
these drop-offs. Smartmom always smiled supportively and then looked
the other way.

Smartmom knew that A and her new partner were
hunting for houses for over two years. A asked Smartmom to be
discreet around the landlord. When they found the house they are moving
into it was only supposed to take a few months to renovate. It took
much longer and A kept Smartmom posted on the construction snafus.

Now
this family of three is ready to move into their new home. Smartmom
doesn’t quite know how to acknowledge the move. A glass of champange, a
modest gift, a card wishing her every good wish? It seems important
somehow to honor this transition, this move from one place to another,
this loss.

It’s not enough just to wave goodbye.