I can’t imagine what Keith Richards was doing on top of a coconut tree in Fiji. And why did he have to travel immediately afterward by jet ski?

Scouring the news reports, haven’t found a single reason for why he was in the tree in the first place.

As usual, I turned to the very wise and sensible Hepcat who was standing in the kitchen sipping coffee in front of our  non-working new stove. He offered up these possible explanations.

"Oh that’s easy. He was probably telling his companions, ‘Y’know, they used to train monkeys to harvest coconuts by climbing up these trees. Here, let me show you how they did it.’"

Or he was saying to his fellow travellers, ‘Hey, where’s that other island we’re supposed to be going to? I bet I can see it from the top of this palm tree.’

Maybe it went something like: ‘You know my cell phone isn’t working very well, let me climb to the top of this tree. The reception is probably better up there.’

Perhaps it was something simple like, ‘Hey, I can’t find the keys to my jet ski. Do you think I left them in the tree?’"

Hepcat went back to sipping his coffee but still seemed to be formulating new theories.

"How about: ‘I hear they’re worried about this island being flooded if there’s global warming and we’ll all have to learn how to climb trees. Let’s practice now." he said.

Then, Hepcat came up with this one: "Keith, in an effort to emulate Mick Jagger’s new television show, "Let’s Rob Mick Jagger" was shooting a network pilot for a new reality show, "Let’s Get Keith Richards Out of the Tree."

Hepcat, as usual, shed a great deal of light on the situation. But I still wasn’t sure if he’d nailed it. And then I remembered that during their Pacific tour, the Rolling Stones are under strict orders from Mick Jagger to conduct daily Tsunami emergency drills. Maybe that’s what Keith  was doing climbing to the top of the palm tree.

If you, readers of OTBKB, have alternative scenarios to offer please feel free to leave them in the comments. I’m just dying to know.