SMARTMOM: OSFO GETS A PIANO

Here it is, this week’s Smartmom from the award-winning Brooklyn Paper:

Everyone knows about Teen Spirit’s cool and unusual forays into rock and roll. But few are aware of the Oh So Feisty One’s burgeoning interest in classical piano.

More than a year ago, OSFO started hankering for piano lessons. Smartmom knew that Mrs. Kravitz’s daughter, and OSFO’s best friend, Beauty Girl, was taking lessons, from a local teacher named Helen Richman.

“Why don’t you come to the recital?” Mrs. Kravitz suggested. “It’s in the senior center on Grand Army Plaza.”

A few Sundays later, they went to the social room at the center, where an overflow crowd watched as Helen introduced her piano and flute students, who each played a solo and a duet with confidence and enthusiasm.

The atmosphere was low key and low stress. If a child flubbed up he/she just started over. No tears. No tangles.

Smartmom was particularly impressed by the graceful way all the students bowed.

Afterwards, there was fruit punch and homemade cookies, which reminded Smartmom of the violin recitals she attended as a young student.

Smartmom sidled up to Helen, who is probably the most glamorous-looking piano teacher you’ll ever meet, and asked her when OSFO could start.

“I’m pretty booked up right now,” Helen said with a syrupy southern drawl and huge helpings of kindness and concern. “But I’ll see what I can do for y’all.”

At the first lesson a few weeks later, Smartmom learned why the kid’s bows were so impressive. Helen teaches a modified version of Suzuki for piano. And all lessons begin and end with a bow.

Thanks to Helen’s teaching techniques and OSFO’s willingness to practice, the 9-year-old was playing lovely two-handed pieces within a couple of months. The children learn certain pieces by ear (listening to a CD that Helen provides). Simultaneously, Helen teaches them sight reading and theory.

Everything was going swimmingly. Except for one thing: OSFO hasn’t had a proper instrument to practice on. She’s been using an old keyboard Hepcat bought in 1989 plugged into one of Teen Spirit’s bass amps.

It was time to graduate from something very makeshift to a more piano-like piano.

Smartmom grew up with a grand piano in the foyer of her family’s Upper West Side apartment. It was a Knabe, given to her maternal grandparent’s when they were married in 1920.

Although Smartmom took violin lessons and later guitar, the piano got quite a workout during her childhood. Diaper Diva studied the instrument, although she got little help from her father, who played a weird kind of atonal jazz as a way to unwind after work.

Sure, Smartmom would love to buy an upright piano, but neither money nor space allows for such an extravagant purchase at this time.

She asked friend, composer and pianist extraordinaire Louis Rosen what to look for in an electronic keyboard.

“Weighted keys. Make sure it has weighted keys so it feels like a piano,” Rosen said.

So last week, Smartmom and Hepcat ventured over to the Guitar Center at Bruce Ratner’s Atlantic Center Mall and were directed to a Casio Digital Piano, a full-sized standup piano with 88 weighted keys.

Hepcat made a face. “It sounds pretty good, but it doesn’t really look like a piano,” he said. Hepat was raised with an old Steinway piano that his mother bought at a local museum sale. Then Hepcat pointed out a nick on the keyboard cover and made another face.

The salesman offered to take more than $100 off. Smartmom was sold.

Hepcat kept looking around at the groovier-looking keyboards. But Smartmom had her heart set on the faux piano look. It played into her fantasy that a home should have a piano — not a keyboard on an ironing board-type stand.

Hepcat thought the portable keyboard would be great “in case OSFO starts a band or something. It’ll be easier to move.”

But Smartmom wasn’t thinking “The Archies.” She wanted a traditional piano with a metronome sitting on top. Of course, the Casio has an electronic metronome — it’s pretty high tech — but within a traditional-looking body.

With his passive-aggressive flair, Hepcat left it up to Smartmom and her “vision” of what she wants.

Smartmom knew she would have to pay — as she always does — when Hepcat lets her make a decision about an electronic item. (“Why did you buy this stupid phone/ stupid toaster/stupid printer?”)

But Smartmom whipped out her debit card and paid for the “piano” pronto. She had it delivered and it arrived less than two hours later. Not without a crisis. The delivery guy left the power supply back at the store and there was no manual.

“So your stupid ‘piano’ doesn’t even come with a power source. That’s why you got it so cheap,” Hepcat sneered at Smartmom.

“Would you two stop yelling!” OSFO begged with the experience of a child whose parents do a lot of stupid bickering. Besides, the power supply arrived within an hour or so.

Everyone seems to like the piano. OSFO has been practicing like a demon. Teen Spirit’s been trying to bang out some Daniel Johnston tunes and Hepcat likes to combine all the interesting sounds the keyboard makes.

As for Smartmom, with the faux piano in the dining room, everything is just he way it’s supposed to be.

2 thoughts on “SMARTMOM: OSFO GETS A PIANO”

  1. If I ever have children, I want them to be able to play the piano. I’ve already told my husband that if we have children, we have to get a piano!

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