THE JEWISH LAW OF PHYSICS

Great post by Andy Bachman, rabbi at Beth Elohim in Park Slope, on his always interesting blog about — well you figure it out.

The faster it goes, the harder I work, the more things slow down.

How come no one explained this peculiar Law of Jewish Physics to me?

I
remember a time, back in 2002, when I ran the NY Marathon. In the first
8 miles I felt fantastic. I was high-fiving people left and right.
Imagine old film footage from the 1920s, black and white, hipsters and
floppers dancing the Charleston in fast motion. That was me. In Fort
Greene I felt a rumble, in Bed-Stuy I thought I might die, in
Williamsburg the Bais Yaakov Shul let me faciliatate use of their
facilities. The problem was solved and I pushed along, in regular time,
through Greenpoint and Long Island City. When I crossed the 59th Street
Bridge, I felt fine.

The crowds on 1st Avenue were wonderful;
but by about 110th Street, time slowed down. Significantly. I was in
the Law of Jewish Physics. I had entered the vaunted PARDES, spoken of
in the Talmud. I got to the place of pure marble. I wanted “water,
water,” but I knew what I really wanted was to “come out whole.” I bet
if I had tried to speak in the Bronx, I would have been
indistinguishable from a character in a David Lynch movie. Slow. For
those pre-digital readers, we’re talking 16 RPM.

I remember
seeing faces in Central Park. I remember ending. I remember throwing up
on my shoes. I remember my bones aching on the subway ride back to
Brooklyn; and I remember not being able to walk up or down the subway
stairs the next day.

And, finally, I remember it as the greatest just-under-four-hours of my life.

The Jewish Law of Physics.  Living my life in slow motion.

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