Despite the fact that she has a broken hand (and it’s her writing hand), my downstair’s neighbor, Phyzz, wrote a long note to the residents of this building and left it, as is custom, on the mirror in the vestibule of our building. At the bottom of the note it said, "The reason this note is so messy is that I HAVE A BROKEN HAND.
That’s how much it meant to her to write the note. And I can’t blame her: the building’s basement storage space is completely out of control. She nearly killed herself walking to the laundry room.
Later she told me, "There was a bike here, a chair there , a toy piano. It was a real obstacle course."
Some of that mess belongs to packrat Hepcat and I am hoping to remedy the situation this weekend.
"If you haven’t opened a box in years it’s probably time to throw it out," Phyzz told me the other day in the hallway. And I couldn’t agree more. The basement isn’t the best place to store things anyway — what with leaks, dampness, and waterbugs.
Hepcat has a complete set of a Handyman’s Encyclopedia in boxes in the back of the basement that got soaking wet years ago during a flood. I think it’s time to let it go even if he did buy it at the library on Monhegan Island, Maine during our honeymoon.
I’m just not that sentimental about those books.
Hepcat also has a collection of Computer Shopper Magazines. That’s not an editorial magazine. There are no articles. It has ads for electronic stores in California and computer prices. From like twenty years ago.
He also has other magazines, too. What is it about magazines and computer people. They can’t seem to let go of them. Ever.
And that’s not all, there’s furniture we found on the street that never made it into the apartment, books, toys, baby furniture, etc. The kids are 10 and 15 and Sonya is already 2 `1/2 and they never wanted any of our stuff.
Then there are the Bikes. There are more bikes than people in this apartment building. I am going to suggest that neighbors tag the bikes that belong to them. I am suspecting that we have bikes that belonged to our long gone (and beloved) neighbors Eddie, Mary, Jay, Kathy, Andre, Hannah, Robin…
I suspect that there’s a lot of stuff down there that belongs to people who don’t live here anymore. Last year, I found a cool collection of paperbacks from the 1970’s that belonged to a priest that used to live here.
So this weekend, I am going down there in steel-toed shoes and rubber gloves and I am going to TOSS. Hepcat, get ready. The Handyman’s encyclopedia is HISTORY. Time to say: "bye bye".
Hi,
My name is Dan McNally and I am a part of the Basement Systems International Network. Quality 1st Basement Systems and I; located in central New Jersey would like to offer assistance to anyone who may need our services after this record-breaking rainfall. We would be happy to share our knowledge with you and your subscribers in their time of need. There are alot of fly-by-night basement waterproofers out there and we believe everyone should well educated. We have a book called Dry Basement Science that can be purchased on Amazon.com but will offer it at no charge to anyone who wishes to schedule a free at home estimate. Please let me know if there is any way I can help.
Thank you,
Dan
The wet basement is like the concept that dares not speak its name.
It is likely that 90% of Park Slope basements are wet. Only when a homeowner becomes fed up, or, if the smell becomes unbearable, the mechanicals are flooded, mold is discovered, disposable income is found or a house is being put on the market, does that homeowner call upon the friendly, hard-working Bengalis, Pakistanis, Indians or, rarely, the Italians, to dig out a 36″ deep ditch around the exterior of the house, insert a perforated drain pipe, backfill with gravel, insert a sump pump, install a french drain, etc. Usual cost? $25,000 for the standard 15X50 footprint, proportionally more for the larger home. It’s money well-spent. Y’see, nobody’s going to buy a wet home, if their smart. Not for a million bucks, not for three million. We’re all painfully aware of the mold issue now.
A wet basement means mold. It also means a weakened foundation. It also means that the furnace, boiler, central air unit, etc. are all threatened. Certain blocks in the Slope were actually built on an underground stream…lore is that the brick townhouses on Fourth St. just west of Eighth Ave. were build after the collapse of brownstones when that stream was disrupted by the construction of the F line. So, Louise, throw out those nasty, moldy magazines. Throw out those bikes. Throw out everything in that wet basement cause you’re never going to be able to use it.