Here’s
some excerpts from an article in the New York Times last week about the state
of Eros in relationships today. It was called: "The Shelf Life of
Bliss" by Sam Roberts (Published: July 1, 2007)

Roberts starts with this:

"Forget the proverbial seven-year itch. Not to disillusion the half
million or so June brides and bridegrooms who were just married, but
new research suggests that the spark may fizzle within only three years."

A bit later, he goes on to say this:

"Everyone knows the first blush of love is the strongest…"

And finally, in a most depressing finale, he leaves us with:

"But a dissipation of that all-enveloping rapture is no reason to give up on a relationship."

Well, as a person who has and is experiencing long-term bliss in a
relationship, and as a psychotherapist who has worked with many couples
in therapy seeking to sustain or recapture that bliss, I would like to
respond to Sam Roberts with some genuine "in-the-field experience."
Yes, "Eros" (bliss, in-love-ness, rapture, whatever you want to call
that amazing rush of feeling when two people come together and it’s
"right") does indeed very typically "fizzle" after an initial "free
sample" is used up (ranging from 3 months to 3 years) . However, this
doesn’t happen because that initial surge of Eros is the strongest, as
Roberts suggests. On the contrary, it fades because people rarely do
the inner work necessary to keep the channels open that would allow
that wonderful state to continue AND GROW EVEN STRONGER!

Yes, that’s
right. Love and sex are not naturally the best in the beginning
of a relationship. Love and sex are best when year after year, you
continue to reveal yourself to your lover and explore your partner’s
inner world in deeper and deeper ways, including romantically and
sexually.

Roberts proposes that the "dissipation of that all-enveloping
rapture" should be accepted and not be used to"give up on a
relationship." Well, I would agree with the last part of the statement
if the not giving up means doing whatever self-work it takes to
rekindle that spark, if possible. I definitely do not agree, however,
that it is anyone’s best interest – not the partners or the children of
such a partnership – to hunker down and settle for a passionless,
Eros-deprived relationship.
The "honeymoon" doesn’t have to ever give way to the "old ball and
chain," folks, not if you don’t want it to, and not if your partner is
willing to go there with you.