Super BRAVO! to Judith Warner on this one today. Some excerpts follow from her Domestic Disturbances column in today’s NY Times called: "Visiting Day."

By the way, as a psychotherapist and parent, I have been screaming about the over-involvement of parents in their kids’ lives, especially in places like Park Slope, and lazy and unrealistic collusion of local schools in the problem by insisting in excessive parental involvement in school activities (not to mention homework!). Here’s Judith:

  "I’ve had it with a culture that willfully refuses to face up to the fact that almost 80 percent of mothers with children beyond pre-school age – and, of course, a much greater percentage of fathers – work. This refusal to face facts, coupled with the ideology of “parental involvement” as a panacea for all social ills, has created a situation in which not only guilt-ridden parents, but children are needlessly suffering.

"It doesn’t need to be this way. It only takes a quick look across the Atlantic to see that many other countries have done what’s necessary to grow up and embrace the 21st century. They provide kids with a longer school year, a longer school day and subsidized summer activities.

"We need to push back against the trend toward excessive and inappropriate parental involvement that weighs so heavily upon families in certain [middle class] communities. We should start by requesting – ever so politely – that school events requiring parental participation be scheduled in the evening. Or on weekends. And not too often at that.

"Let’s get parents out of their school-aged kids’ 9-to-3 lives. It’s a cost-free solution to one of the major sources of family angst today. And, more globally, let’s grow up as a culture and face reality – so that our kids can grow up less stressfully."

     Yes!
Peter Loffredo