Here’s another post from Park Slope’s own Rudy Delson. He will be reading at Brooklyn Reading Works on September 20th at 8 p.m at the Old Stone House. It should be a super fun reading with friends and other writers reading from his hot new novel, Maynard and Jennica. Catch him in between doctor’s appointments.

I’ve been visiting my doctors. On Tuesday it was Dr. Jane Kutsowsky, my ophthalmologist, over on President and Fourth. She shares a clean, spare office with three other doctors, and in their lobby is a large, flat-screened TV. Tuesday afternoon, it was tuned to The Young and the Restless. I was trying to be good, trying to ignore the TV and read my Robert Walser, but the commercials were distracting. Did you know that there is an ailment called Restless Leg Syndrome? And there are prescription drugs to treat it? And that those drugs are advertised on The Young and the Restless?

Dr. Kutsowsky determined that my eyes are no worse than ever, but, in pursuit of a ghostly floater, she had to dilate my pupils to an extreme. For four to six hours, she told me, I would have trouble focusing—which meant that reading and writing were out for the rest of the day. What to do with my sudden afternoon free?

Well, I decided to visit the Statue of Liberty. Liberty permits me write; I bring her, as offerings, copies of my books. So I got on the R Train to Whitehall and then got on the ferry to Liberty Island, carrying a copy of Maynard and Jennica in my bag. It’s a longish ferry ride, and—my eyes still teary with dilation—there was nothing for me to do but listen to the tourists next to me:

“There’s rum for you, Ted.” “Bill, make rum for Ted to sit.” “Oh, who wants M&Ms?” “Oh, ha ha!” “Ha ha ha! Jeanne sure loves her M&Ms!” “She sure does.” “There’s rum for you, Ted, Bill’s going to move over.” “I’ll take some of those.” “Who wants a soda?” “Ted, sit, there’s rum.” “No, I’ll stand. Gotta burn these calories!”

Did Ted suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome, I wondered.

But I don’t like to think mean thoughts about tourists. Because, frankly, they are so touching. Americans do such silly things with their liberty; but, for the most part, when they come to New York for the first time, they’re grateful enough for their liberty to take a trip out to visit the colossus that honors the virtue. We may be indulgent, but at least we’re pious.

Anyway, as of Tuesday, a free copy of Maynard and Jennica has been left on Liberty Island. If you find it, it’s yours.