Another great post from Mrs. Cleavage, one of the NY Metro Parents bloggers. Here’s an excerpt.
If I had a rewind button, I’d use it. Today was the sort of day one would like to erase. Not all of it, mind you, just the good bits.
In particular, the part where my son screamed how much he hated me – at the top of his lungs.
Blip. Gone.
Or the part where he told me he wished he was dead, tears streaming down his face. This while standing by the sink where my very large and very sharp chef’s knife was lying in the drainer.
Blip. Blip.
How about the part where he balled his hand into a fist and threatened to hit me?
Blip. Blip. Blip.
Thanks, Saucy Tart – I didn’t realize my name wasn’t appearing. It always did automiatically whenever I posted. It’s Peter Loffredo.
well, well, well… who knew Mrs. Cleavage could elicit such diverse & strong reactions. as someone who is in the know, saucytart would like to note that not only is Mrs. C an excellent parent who does indeed set limits, she is herself quite self-aware, and certainly not asleep on the job. saucytart does not agree with Mr. Pyscotherapist, who might appear less disingenuous had he not posted anonymously. posting anonymously, in her opinion, makes said **pyschotherapist** seem more troll, which here means someone who intentionally posts controversial or contrary messages in an on-line community such as an on-line discussion forum with the intention of baiting users into an argumentative response, than actual parenting expert.
Okay, Dave, thanks for the thoughtful comments.
I call “bullshit” on your 10-second online psychoanalysis. Reminds me of Bill Frist’s magical diagnosis of Terri Schiavo from the Senate floor.
Like I said, “fuckin shrinks.” Get a real job, you deadbeat, before you ruin any more lives.
“fuckin shrinks” – Hmm… done a lot of work on yourself, Dave? What makes that child “escalate” IS the lack of limits. You don’t have to be a “shrink” to know that, just an adult who’s awake.
She’s just trying not to escalate. fuckin shrinks.
Dear Mrs. Cleavage – I am responding to you as both a psychotherapist of 30 years, who has done a lot of work with children and families, and as a parent three times over who has raised one son all the way to aduthood. Without knowing the age of your raging child, I can tell you this – your son is literally screaming for limits. This statement of yours from the NY Metro blog tells me a lot: “This is the second time this week that he’s gone ballistic. It takes every ounce of restraint I possess to not play the game and lose my temper.”
What do you think you’re telling your son by not losing your temper when he is acting out so wildly? That you are some kind of impenetrable object without any sensibilities or feelings? Or worse, and this may speak to his rage, that you don’t really love him enough to be affected by his tantrums. By not getting angry at such extreme raging and not responding with firm and appropriate limit-setting, you are abandoning your son in the worst way – emotionally.