Here’s something new from our pal Pete. His new blog, Full Permission Living, is up and running.

Bill Cosby
and Alvin Poussaint have a new book out called: "Come On People: On the
Path from Victims to Victors." They’re on the talk show circuit, and
Bob Herbert wrote a column in today’s Times on the book. Here’s the
link to the article: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/16/opinion/16herbert.html?_r=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin

Here’s my comment in a letter to the Times and Mr. Herbert:
 
 To the Editor:

     I, too, watched Bill Cosby and Alvin Poussaint on "Meet The Press," on Sunday,
and although I admire what they are trying to say in their book, "Come
On People…", as a clinical social worker who was worked in New York City
for thirty years, I must disagree with Mr. Cosby’s statement: "A word
to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice."

I have found that "preaching to the choir" is actually a key way to
effect change. For example, during the Meet the Press
interview, the subject of parents being physically violent with
children came up. The two authors addressed this as if what the parents
in question needed was training or information, presuming that the
knowledge that beating your kids isn’t a good child-rearing technique
would change the parents’ behavior.

In fact, adults who beat children
do so because of their own internalized stockpile of unworked-on rage,
not for lack of knowing a better approach. Likewise, the notion that
informing absentee fathers that their children need them, or pointing
out to adolescents who emulate the language of rappers that they might
not get a job as a pilot or doctor, is not going to effect any change
either.

Adults who already desire to be loving, present parents are the
ones who seek out and require information on ways to better themselves,
and young people who already desire a life of dignity and financial
comfort are the ones who need guidance and access on how to attain such
goals. The people who Mr. Herbert  states "are still trapped in prisons
of extreme violence, poverty, degradation and depression" need the kind
of help that could only be provided by a society that can go beyond
punishment and provide useful limits and boundaries on violent,
anti-social behavior in combination with intense emotional guidance.

Sincerely,

Peter Loffredo, LCSW