At yesterday’s annual potluck supper in the backyard of PS 321 there was plenty of grumbling about the middle school process.

The waiting really was the hardest part.

Parents have been checking their mailboxes for at least a month hoping to hear from the Department of Education. Last Friday, there were rumors that the letters had finally been mailed.

Last night parents told me that the school had the master list on Monday but were told not to share the information with parents until the letters were mailed.

By Wednesday, no one had received the letters from the Education Department. Anger and frustration was mounting.

When some parents learned on Wednesday that the school had the list, they pressured the principal to release it. Finally the principal relented. At 12:30 on Wednesday, an email went out to all the parents that the guidance counselor and the parent coordinator had the list and would talk to parents.

So it was the parents, finally, who convinced the PS 321 administration to release the list.

Parents streamed into the guidance counselor’s office for word of where their child was accepted. Others called or met with the parent coordinator.

“So, did most kids get their first or second choice school?” I asked the guidance counselor.

“Actually, there were some big surprises,” she told me.

Some parents were, of course, very happy that their child got into their first choice school. Other parents were disappointed that their kid got their second or third choice school.

One mom told me that her son was very, very upset because all his friends got into one school and he’s going to another.

“He’s very, very sad,” she told me.

Another mom is in the exact same boat as we are. Her daughter is not on the master list. She has been “disappeared” by the DOE, a situation that makes you feel like crap.

“We’re probably moving,” she told me. The middle school process is, of course, not the only reason. But it is certainly a contributing factor.

“If we move to the suburbs our kids can just go to the local school,” she said.

Liz Phillips, principal of PS 321, heard that my daughter’s name was missing from the list. She assured me that the school would help figure this out. She’s a veteran of the middle school process and there are always problems; and they almost always work themselves out.

One mom told me that after such a positive experience at PS 321, she felt that the middle school experience was a real downer. “It’s so anti-climatic after such a great experience here.”

Most parents understand that the middle school process has little to do with the elementary school and everything to do with the bureaucracy of the Education Department.

But still, it’s a downer. Middle school shouldn’t be this hard.