Friday evening at 7 p.m. friends called to say they were taking the shuttle bus to the new IKEA in Red Hook. The furniture behemeth closes at 10 p.m. and they were on the look-out for a new dining room table.

Fun, we thought and instantly decided to tag along though we were too late to catch the same bus they were catching.

At 8 p.m. we arrived at Ninth Street and Fourth Avenue and saw the bright yellow free shuttle bus. People streamed off with their large blue IKEA bags stuffed with IKEA items. We tried to get on but the driver informed us that the IKEA-bound bus stop is across the street on the northeast corner of 9th and Fourth in front of the church.

Indeed, when we got over there we a sign for the IKEA shuttle. It’s also where you get the B77 bus, which goes to, you guessed it, IKEA Plaza in Red Hook.

We should have hopped on that bus, Gus (and paid the fare). But we waited and waited with a small crowd for that free yellow shuttle. We even saw two dark green IKEA buses on the other side of the street (and then disappeared). But no IKEA-bound bus.

By 8:40 we decided it was a dumb idea to go to IKEA that late. While, OSFO had her heart set on looking at loft beds and Hepcat was looking forward to Swedish meatballs, it just didn’t make sense.

Finally, we decided to abort our IKEA mission. With no bus in site, we walk east to Fifth Avenue and ate dinner int he backyard at Willie’s Dawgs.

Later, we ran into our friends on Seventh Avenue. They had no trouble riding the IKEA shuttle from Park Slope. Her husband and son, however, grew weary of circling the store looking at furniture and home items they have no interest in.

When my friend wanted to browse in the Marketplace her husband snapped. “That’s it. It’s time to go.” Clearly, he had reached his big box store threshold.

A huge crowd boarded a bus at IKEA Plaza, which was overcrowded and sweltering. My friend’s husband was convinced that the air conditioner was malfunctioning. With no windows open, the bus was unbearably hot and stinky.

When my friend’s husband exited the bus he ventured to tell the driver that the air conditioning wasn’t working.

“Oh,” the driver said. “I forgot to put it on.”