It's strange. You're walking down Seventh Avenue and you see out of the corner of your eye someone you've "friended" on Facebook. And they're not a great friend or anything but a good acquaintance. You might know them from you kid's school or through a mutual friend.
But now you know way more about them than you used to. You've read their 25 Random Things About Me and their favorite words and you have a running sense of their daily status.
Maybe you see them on the way to the subway and you kind of know where they're going because they posted about that; or you run into them at Sweet Melissa's or 'Snice and you're curious how something or other turned out.
But it's not really appropriate to say anything. Or is it? Is it rude not to? What's the etiquette here, now, Emily Post?
It's the strangest thing. I'm wondering if this brand of "social networking" will lead to a tighter sense of community or a community of people who nervously avoid each other when they're out on the street because, like, you've seen high school pictures and you know how they wore their hair back in 1982. You've seen their wedding outfits and pictures of them as babies…
When you're on Facebook it's one thing. Over there it's like a high school party, where you're free to check everybody out. You see your friends, your friend's friends, the teachers, the parents.
Everybody is at the party.
You can explore their information and find out their favorite books and movies. You're glad they shared their favorite panini recipe after you posted about your new panini press; or that they offered their favorite cold remedies and hope you feel better because you posted about being sick.
But running into them on the street is different. You're not sure if you need to say "hi." It's like you know them in your secret life, the one on your computer. And yet, you know them for real, too.
On Seventh Avenue on a cold March day. Hey, Emily Post, a little help here, please.
i *love* the more intimate views into people’s lives that FB has brought me. i have learned so much more about mere acquaintances than i ever thought i would and i love having some insight into what makes them tick. the discovery process–especially discovering shared interests/things-in-common–is great fun. my take is that those who choose to become my *friends* have similar feelings and post details to the degree that they are comfortable with (the case for me). i look at it as a great ice-breaker and am thrilled that it is actually strengthening relationships. i would absolutely say “hi” and even “how are you?”!
Ha! This is great, Louise. You nailed the dilemma exactly. It’s a strange world, Facebook. Not to mention, I have my mom on there, my ex-boyfriend, old friends, new friends, friends who hate each other – it’s bizarre. And we are all “friends” now – at least, they are all on my page together!
talked to emily, she says: you simply offer a familiar and sincere “hello” to anyone for whom you feel even the most remote inkling to do so. you do this because you may in fact know them – you might even be blogging from their basement – but even if you are neither friends nor “friends” with them, this world is an increasingly scary and lonely-making place and not one bad thing will come of your offer of a salutation.
what happens when you have that very same sort of encounter but it turns out that that panini recipe was actually posted by and that fb page belongs to that person’s twin?