My friend over at Phatush Diaries is FUNNY. And she's writing again. Which thrills me no end. You gotta read this woman who may be the edgiest mom around. Here's an excerpt but read the rest at her blog.
Yes
….I know that we are planning to bring something in to celebrate our
kid's birthday that both happen to fall in the month of September.
Yes, I know that your daughter has an allergy to wheat, dairy, eggs, milk, cheese, yada ……yada ….yada…..
Yes, I know that last year I made those great tasting rice crispy treats ……
BUT …..
I'M NOT DOING THAT CRAP AGAIN …. NO WAY ….
FIRST…
MY 2 high end Calphalon pots look like they were burned in Chernobyl……
Don't
dismay ……the gym teacher is still getting good use out of the burnt
rice crispy treats a full year later …. as sporting equipment for the
5th grade intramural soccer team.
Your
idea of bringing in a healthy snack ………apples and honey (in honor
of the holiday) to celebrate our kid's birthdays ….SUCKS ASS.
Who ever heard of blowing out a flaming apple????
Your other suggestion …That I run out to Junior's, and pick your daughter up her own $13 dollar slice of cheesecake…..shows me one thing ….THAT YOU ARE A CRAZY MESHUGENAH CUNT!!!!!!!
Get this straight …...
You will eat the Betty Crocker Vanilla Cupcakes that I will frost in the back of my Jeep 15 minutes before the party …
Oh….BTW
….you may want to brush off the ashes from my Camel Light ….(it's
not sprinkles) ….and pick out some of the dog hair.