Even though I work for seniors, it’s their adult children who tend to find me and hire me. They are often either living too far away or are too busy to be able to handle the nitty gritty of planning their parent’s move.
In senior world, we call these adult children “caregivers.” But the caregivers themselves very rarely identify as such. One said to me once “Caregiver? That sounds so professional. I’m just helping my mom.”
The truth is that as the population ages, there will be a lot more caregivers out there who don’t think of themselves as such. It can be an isolating role. There’s no “What to Expect When Your Mom Turns Eighty” (yet) and – in our neighborhood – if you throw an old tennis ball in any random direction you’ll find a good dog walker, but try finding someone you trust to take your parents around when they can no longer drive themselves. Good luck with that.
So, in honor of all those wonderful people who are devoting countless, unpaid, hours to helping their parents navigate their eighties and nineties, I’ve compiled some resources that I hope might help make the role a little easier
In a great book with an odd title, How to Say it to Seniors, David Solie explains why seniors and their kids so often clash as they wrestle over control when the parents need support. His examples are often hilarious and make you pause and realize why your dad explodes every time you suggest it may be time for him to consider hiring help at home.
A woman I know who runs the New York City branch of an excellent homecare agency, Senior Helpers, has started a website site called Senior Care. Kathy is compiling articles and resources to make life easier for local caregivers and she’s asked me to help with some contributions. Right now there’s a great post about the museums in the city that have programs for seniors with dementia.
I follow a couple of blogs with interesting articles about aging: “http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/” The New Old Age blog at the New York Times is always covering some unexplored aspect to aging. There’s a recent post about a topic dear to my heart – the editing process of deciding what to keep and what to shed when you have to move into a smaller residence.
And: “http://www.elderguru.com/” Elder Guru stays on top of creative products and services to make life easier for seniors and caregivers. How about GPS shoes for people with dementia?
Also: “http://www.caringtoday.com/” Caring Today is an online caregiver community. I love this site because they devote a lot of their space to sharing personal stories from caregivers all over the country.
And of course, if you need a senior move manager, check out: http://www.nasmm.org” The National Association of Senior Move Managers and select one in your part of the country.
Caregivers and all you people who are just taking care of your parents but are decidedly NOT “caregivers,” I wish you all the luck in the world as you navigate your new, complex, role.
Katie Hustead, the owner of Paper Moon Moves, is a regular contributor to OTBKB. She loves seniors and has been running a volunteer reading program at a senior residence in New York City for seven years and was honored by President Bush for her commitment. She has an MBA from UCLA and has worked in project management and finance at major financial services companies for almost twenty years. She is personally involved in every job. She named the company after one of her favorite songs.