Brought to you by The Feldman Family from their weather tower in Park Slope.

Oscar the Grouch once sang of his love of trash. Harmony Korine has consistently made films that seemed to celebrate that sentiment, but none as overtly as Trash Humpers, currently at Cinema Village.

Frankly, I thought the title would just be a non-sequitor, but the throughline of the piece is literally that, a group of outsiders gyrate against garbage bins.  To attempt further synopsis is ridiculous.  Korine, a truly original master who disappeared from the cinema for over a decade, returned last year with the wonderful Mister Lonely, a film considered by the critical masses to be deeply personal and void of the nonsense of Korine’s youth evident in the much maligned masterpiece Gummo. 

Trash Humpers is nothing but the nonsense. And like two Jean-Luc Godard works I recently revisited, La Chinoise or Le Gai Savoir, it is very much a what-does-one-say experience. If you think a movie about southern fringe dwellers wearing grotesque elderly masks getting it on with garbage sounds funny or interesting in some way, then take on a memorable experience. Or just revel in the attempt at a VHS quality look, complete with grain, tracking problems and cues such as PLAY or REW. When it’s done you can bask in it by imagining luxury designer Agnes B. who has produced Korine’s last two films, discussing the work with its maker.

I recently saw Kick-Ass, thinking it could be irritating and off-putting. Trash Humpers makes Kick-Ass or any movie for that matter look like Masterpiece Theater. When the show was over, three strangers stood in silence at our respective urinals in the Cinema Village men’s room. This standard moment became too uncomfortable to bear for one who finally said, “It’s like someone told a bad joke and no one’s laughing.”   That line, that moment sums up Trash Humpers better than any other description one could offer.

Who can forget last summer’s dumpster swimming pool in the Gowanus. That was created by David Bell, a local developer. This year he’s creating something called  “Glassphemyl,” an experiment in recylcing.

The installation set in a private space along the Gowanus Canal in Brooklyn, is a 20-foot-by-30-foot clear box, with high walls made of steel and bulletproof glass.

People will stand on a high platform at one end of the box and a low platform on the other so that they’ll be able to toss glass bottles into the box—and at each other though no once can get hurt thanks to the way its designed.

Sounds fun.

And there’s more: as the bottle smash,  lights flash, and no one is harmed.

According to the Brooklyn Paper, the NBA’s Board of Governors will let Bruce Ratner sell the Nets to Mikhail Prokhorov. The Russian mogul will be the first non-North American owner of a team.

Last year, Prokhorov made a deal with Ratner to buy 80-percent of the team, plus 45 percent of the lucrative Barclays Center arena, which is under construction at the corner of Atlantic and Flatbush avenues.

Remember Doug Biviano?

Biv was the candidate from Brooklyn Heights, who ran an interesting campaign for city council in the 33rd district. I was impressed with him and endorsed him in the Democratic primary. So did Dennis Kucinich, who came to Brooklyn to give his support.

Well, Biv lost that race but now he’s entered the race for NY State Assembly. Brooklyn’s 52nd Assembly District includes Brooklyn Heights, Downtown Brooklyn, Boerum Hill, Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill, the Columbia Waterfront, DUMBO, Fulton Ferry Landing, Gowanus, Wyckoff, Red Hook, Park Slope, Prospect Heights, and Vinegar Hill.

The Democratic Primary for New York State Assembly is September 14th, 2010. Here’s his press release:

Political reformer and progressive Democrat Doug Biviano entered the race for New York State Assembly today in Brooklyn’s 52nd AD, declaring that the incumbent Joan Millman’s record of silence on the widespread corruption in Albany was too costly to ignore.

“We all know what’s going on in Albany,” said Biviano, who was voted one of the Top Ten People of 2009 by the Brooklyn Heights Blog for his bold campaign for City Council against the Brooklyn machine and boss Vito Lopez. “Every week, there’s another story about one of Millman’s colleagues in the Assembly or State Senate being arrested or under investigation for stealing millions of our taxpayer dollars. It’s no coincidence that this same State legislature has run up a $10 billion debt that they have no clue how to fix, except for borrowing billions more for our kids to repay and closing hospitals, token booths, senior centers, and schools. Well, unlike Joan Millman, when I see something, I say something. I won’t play that same cynical game up in Albany where politicians like Millman refuse to speak out against the corrupt system that is destroying our state, because it is that very same corrupt system that ensures they keep getting reelected.”

Even more outrageous than her silence, Joan Million is Chairman of the State Assembly’s Election Law Committee, the body that purposely does nothing to change the laws filled with legal traps that result in dozens of challengers to incumbents being thrown off the ballot each year by the Board of Elections and the courts. “Millman is in a unique position to introduce the reforms every good government group in this State says is imperative to end the dysfunctionalism in Albany and yet she hasn’t lifted a finger to fix our broken system. Why not?” Biviano wants Millman to answer.

A few weeks ago, Doug Biviano issued a press release demanding “A New Standard in Albany” and challenged Joan Millman to finally speak out against her colleagues’ crimes. Millman again said nothing. But Biviano received an outpouring of impassioned responses from residents across the district outraged at the dysfunction in Albany. It was the strength of this grassroots uprising that convinced him that after 13 years of Millman, the people of Brooklyn’s 52nd AD were ready for change. “I’ve spoken to my neighbors and they understand that if we’re going to end the culture of corruption ruling Albany, our only chance is to start the movement right here in Brooklyn.” This election is about a whole lot more than just whether you like your elected official. It’s about preserving our neighborhoods, saving our essential services, and making sure businesses and jobs do not leave the city.”

Brought to you by The Feldman Family from their weather tower in Park Slope.

Spent a few days with writer friends in the North Fork of Long Island. Just got back. Sorry for the late start. Thanks to No Words and Now I’ve Heard Everything for keeping the OTBKB light burning…

On May 13th from 6-8:30 PM at the Park Slope Armory (15th Street between 7th and 8th Avenues) representatives from over 95 organizations will be on hand to share information about the various volunteer opportunities available.

Find out where and how you can help, whether you’re a high school student, a retired person, and/or someone who wants to sharpen skills or develop new ones. Admission to the event is free and light refreshments will be provided.

“This is a chance for the community to meet representatives from over 95 local non-profits, including those that focus on the environment, recreation, youth, health, the arts, community service and the elderly,” said Assemblymember Jim Brennan. “No matter what your interest, you’ll find a rewarding opportunity to get involved and to give back to your community.”

“Volunteering is for everyone. We have made it a point to include opportunities for students on up to senior citizens,” said Assemblymember Joan Millman. “Volunteering is a worthwhile way to use your skills, develop new ones, and connect with other interesting, dedicated people.”

“A real measure of a neighborhood’s strength is the extent to which its residents share their time and talents in their community,” said Craig Hammerman, District Manager of Brooklyn Community Board 6. “Brooklyn offers a tremendous range of volunteer opportunities at organizations that depend on the energy and skills of volunteers.”

“Volunteers help us in so many ways and are an important link between us and our community. We are looking forward to this event as a great way to meet potential volunteers,” said Lyn Hill, Vice President for Communication and External Affairs at New York Methodist Hospital.

The event is sponsored by: Assemblymembers Jim Brennan  and Joan Millman, Councilmember Brad Lander, Senators Eric Adams and Velmanette Montgomery, District Attorney Charles Hynes, Brooklyn Community Boards 6 and 7, New York Methodist Hospital, Park Slope Civic Council, Park Slope Parents, Park Slope 5th Avenue BID and Prospect Park YMCA.

Brought to you by The Feldman Family from their weather tower in Park Slope

Here’s a chance to help influence the reshaping of the City’s Comprehensive Waterfront Plan by attending the Department of City Planning’s Brooklyn workshop and offering your ideas and suggestions…

BROOKLYN WORKSHOP 
May 17, 2010, 6-8:30 pm
Brooklyn Technical High School
Dekalb Ave. & S. Elliot Pl, Brooklyn

In addition to the Brooklyn Workshop, there’s a Blue Network Workshop which will focus more broadly on the City’s waterways and include important discussions on topics of greatly emerging importance such as climate change and sea level rise…

NOTE: Date Change! The Blue Network workshop will now be held on June 24, 2010, 6:30-9 pm, P.S. 234, The Independence School, 292 Greenwich St., Manhattan.  This workshop will focus on the city’s waterways themselves.  We will examine and discuss the opportunities to enhance the Blue Network’s use for recreation, transportation, and education. We will also discuss the ecology of the water bodies and increasing the city’s resilience to climate change and sea level rise.

Click here for the event flyer, or use the following link:
http://www.brooklyncb6.org/announcements/#16

We know all about land grabs in Brooklyn. But Catherine Bohne, owner of Park Slope’s Community Bookstore, is currently living in Valbona, a village in Northern Albanania, where villagers are fighting the government to retain rights to land held in their families for hundreds of years.

We can help. Catherine urges Brooklynites to write letters to to the American Embassy in Tirana (see below). But first, here’s her account of what’s going on in a land very far away.

It’s Catherine, writing from an internet cafe in Bajrum Curri, Northern Albania — I’ve owed you all a long-promised email for a while now, but the longer I wait, the longer the story gets . . . . So now (typically) I’m writing to ask for your help.  As some of you know, since last July I’ve been spending a lot of time in Northern Albania.  It is the most beautiful, magical place, with some of the best people in the world (after Park Slope, of course!).  Also, typically, I’ve gotten involved in trying to help people here.  For the last 10 months that just consisted of basic stuff (websites, puttering), but in the last two weeks a situation has blown up here.  And of course I’ve sort of ended up in the middle of it.  The Valbona Valley where I’ve been half-living is traditionally one of the toughest places in Europe – they don’t call it these the Accursed Mountains for nothing!  Perhaps in order to survive the people have become both adapted to the land AND fiercely protective of each other — really GOOD to each other.  And to me!  Now the local government –  which, like most government inAlbania, is very corrupt – is moving to grab land in Valbona.  And the Selimaj, my adopted family, are standing up to them.  This really is the little guy fighting against huge forces.  Will you help?

Here are the two videos I made so far which summarize the situation – I was up all night making the last one, so I’m sort of blotto right now, and I think the videos will be clearer than I will be.

Valbona Land Grab – Part 1 (5/9/10)
http://www.youtube. com/watch? v=WRH6zy7sYuE

Valbona Land Grab – Part 2 (5/10/10) (This one doesn’t seem to be working currently – but keep checking!)
http://www.youtube. com/watch? v=CDWETQBCJtU

And yes, in case you were wondering, it WAS me with the camera, so Islam Byberi was threatening old men and a smallish woman in a little pink sundress.  Nice, eh?  It’s worth pointing out two other facts:

1.  50% of the population of Valbona is under the age of 18, the highest percentage of young people in any village in the Margegaj Komun (local district).  So the old men you see fighting in these videos are not just protecting their own interests, they are fighting for the future of the children of Valbona.

2.  The Komun has published reports to various foreign investors promising over 80 infrastructure projects to benefit the people of Margegaj Komun and Valbona specifically, including really important things like bringing running water to the houses of Valbona village.  They were supposed to start work this summer.  They haven’t.  Instead, they’re rushing to build this tourism complex (with Ping Pong) which (you may have noticed) employs mainly members of the Head of the Komun’s family (who live in Shoshan, not Valbona).

I have more video from the protest at the work site that I’ll send as soon as I can.  It shows the police arriving on Saturday, May 8th, and declaring that all work should stop until a judgment is made by the local court on Tuesday (tomorrow).  You should probably also know that yesterday, while I was in town frantically uploading the first of these videos, the Selimaj returned to the work site, and met workers arriving to continue construction, against the police order.  They police actually came with them, and the Selimaj protested.  The police upheld the order to stop work, at the cost of three Selimaj volunteering for arrest – Zenel Ahmeti (45), Gent Ademi (35) and Naim Selimaj (29).  While in police custody, the Chief of Police entered their holding cell, asked “Which one of you is Gent?” and then hit him.  This is of course illegal.  And if you’re wondering who the Chief of Police is . . . yup.  Another Byberi.  (Gent’s out now and charges are being filed.)

Continue reading Albanian Village Needs Help Fighting Gov’t Land Grab →

Doomsday mayoral budget steps closer: City Limits

Hate crimes by the numbers: City Limits

Shhhh. A thieving developer wants Daniel Goldstein quiet: Noticing New York

Moving day for Daniel Goldstein and Shabnam Merchant: NY Daily News

Pratt Post Office will be closed for a year: Brooklyn Paper

“So what is an edgy mom? Based on the reading I’d have to say it’s a mom who questions authority and group-think, and who tells the truth, even if it’s shocking. Also, judging from the night’s readers, edgy moms are funny!”

– Louise Sloan, author of Knock Yourself Up, A Tell All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom

Brooklyn Reading Works presents the Fourth Annual Edgy Mother’s Day on May 20, 2010 at 8PM at The Old Stone House in Park Slope. It’s motherhood without sanctimony and an evening  of maternal revelry, wisdom and irreverent fun.

This is not your mother’s Mother’s Day but a celebration of mommydom nonetheless that will shock, rock, and make you laugh ‘til your thongs snap!

Hear Brooklyn writers of non-fiction, fiction, memoir and poetry rant and rave about mothers and motherhood. They will shock, amuse, and entertain but won’t make you eat carrots before dessert.

Bring a friend. Or bring your mom.

Hosted by Louise Crawford and Sophia Romero, here’s the evening’s line-up:

–Marian Fontana, author of A Widow’s Walk

–Rosemary Moore, author of Side Street

–Martha Southgate, author of Third Girl From the Left

—Jill Eisenstadt, author of From Rockaway

–Wendy Ponte, author of Mothering Magazine’s Having a Baby Naturally

–Sophia Romero, blogger, The Shiksa from Manila and author of Always Hiding

–Yona Zeldis McDonough, author of Breaking the Bank

–Michele Madigan Somerville, poet and author of WISEGAL and Black Irish

–Allison Pennell, parenting journalist and writer for Effed in Park Slope

–Kathy Fine, educator

Register now for the Fifth Annual Brooklyn Blogfest, which is now free on June 8th at the Brooklyn Lyceum thanks to its sponsor Absolut Vodka.

“Where better to take the pulse of this rapidly growing community of writers, thinkers and observers than the Brooklyn Blogfest?” ~ Sewell Chan, The New York Times

How many bloggers does it take to fill the Brooklyn Lyceum? Come find out on June 8 at 7:00 PM when the borough’s most opinionated and dedicated bloggers (and surprise special guests) step away from their keyboards to sound off about how and why Brooklyn remains such a rich source of material and inspiration.

But forget about filling the room. Here’s the real question the Brooklyn Blogfest will answer: How many bloggers does it take to wrap their arms around New York’s most happening borough? So, whether you are a blogger, wannablogger, reader, or media maven, you’ll want to come see for yourself. And meet up with this year’s most tenaciously keen tribe of bloggers as they gather to celebrate all the reasons Brooklyn is such a potent source of runaway creativity.

Since it was founded in 2005, the Brooklyn Blogfest has established itself as the nexus of creativity, talent, and insight among the blogosphere’s brightest lights. This year will be no different as a panel of blogging’s best disect the unique brand of entrepreneurial creativity flourishing here. Also on tap: a video tribute to Brooklyn’s most visionary photo bloggers, special networking sessions for like-minded bloggers (i.e. Blogs of a Feather), the return of the ever-popular Shout-out, when bloggers are invited to share their blogs with the world, and a roof-raising after-party with ABSOLUT^® VODKA cocktails, food and music.

“The borough of Brooklyn has always been front and center in the world of blogging,” says Louise Crawford, founder of the Brooklyn Blogfest and onlytheblogknowsbrooklyn.com. “Whether you live by a blog, blog to live, or live to blog, you’ll want to come out on June 8.”

Location: The Brooklyn Lyceum

227 Fourth Avenue at President Street in Park Slope Brooklyn

THIS EVENT IS FREE

The 2010 BROOKLYN BLOGFEST is sponsored by ABSOLUT^® VODKA

The “Bike Jumble” is  coming to Washington Park in Park Slope on May 16th. Organized by Harry Schwartzman organized the event will feature used bikes, parts and accessories. The cycles usually run from $50 to about $200.

There will also be a show of vintage bikes and an exhibit at the Old Stone House about the Coney Island Velodrome — a track that brought the thrills of bike racing to Brooklyn in the 1930s.

Brooklyn Bike Jumble at Washington Park. Third Street at Fifth Avenue in Park Slope, (718) 768-3195], May 16 from 10 am-4 pm.

Brought to you by The Feldman Family from their weather tower in Park Slope

Four years ago, Smartmom started Edgy Mother’s Day, an annual reading of fiction, non-fiction and poetry about motherhood and mothers at the Old Stone House in Park Slope. It’s motherhood without sanctimony and an evening of maternal revelry, wisdom and irreverent fun.

This is not your mother’s Mother’s Day, but a celebration of mommydom that will shock, rock, and make you laugh ’til your thongs snap!

Smartmom had sort of a vague idea of what she meant by “edgy mom,” but it was always hard to articulate when people would ask, “So what is an edgy mom, anyway?”

Well, she’s feisty and fun and a little bit zany. She whines to her friends and can be a bit of a martyr. She fantasizes about getting a room of her own on Block Island with a computer and a view of the sea. She lets her kids have dessert before dinner, reheated pizza for breakfast and NEVER remembers to bring Cheerios in a little Tupperware container to the playground.

Except when she does and then she feels victorious!

Her kids have seen her fight with their dad and yell at her mom and curse her sister on the phone. They’ve watched her cry.

She’s been known to throw away her children’s old toys and art supplies when they’re not around — and then pretend that she doesn’t know where they are when they ask.

But she can’t let go of their artwork — even that sharp pointy wood sculpture that her son made at the Montessori school. She loves when they sleep over at a friend’s house. The apartment is so quiet, so serene, and so terribly lonely.

She looks forward to her late afternoon glass of wine. And once or twice, she has let her kids miss school when she feels like sleeping in.

Sometimes she takes a bath when she should be making dinner or reads “Anna Karenina” when she’s supposed to be helping with homework.

She watches shows like “Gossip Girl” and discusses the travails of Blair, Serena, Chuck and Dan with her 13-year-old daughter — even if the show isn’t appropriate for 13-years-olds

She’s not sure what is appropriate for 13-year-olds.

Sometimes she feels like the most boring person on earth, like someone’s mother and that’s all. But on a good day that seems like the greatest job in the world.

She tries not to tell my-kids-are-so-amazing stories, or say to new moms, “Enjoy it now; they’re gonna grow up fast” — even though it’s true.

She hates to sound like an old fart, an elderstates-mom or a know-it-all — even though she is.

And she tries not to say, “Do you mind if I brag?” — even though there is SO much to brag about. She’s made a lot of mistakes, some she would never ever admit to anyone.

She’s afraid she’s ruined her kids somehow. She knows that everything is her fault.

If only she’d followed those expert books. Or even read them. And she wishes that she didn’t let her kids get away with murder.

She hates to watch them puke or be in pain or feel sad when they’ve had their feelings hurt. She wants to kill anyone who hurts her child. Sometimes she even wants to kill her children. But just for a teeny, tiny fleeting second.

She tries to make eye contact when they have a very long story to tell — even when there’s so much else she needs and wants to do. And now that they’re teenagers, she practically grovels for attention, for those long stories she used to tire of.

She loves her kids with a passion that makes her ache, moan, yell and scream, and feel all gooey inside. Do you mind if she brags?

So that’s an edgy mom.

Edgy Mother’s Day with Sophia Romero, Michele Madigan Somerville, Wendy Ponte, Marian Fontana, Yona Zeldis McDonough, Kathy Fine, Martha Southgate, Allison Pennell, Jill Eisenstadt at the Old Stone House [336 Third St. between Fourth and Fifth avenues in Park Slope, (718) 768-3195], May 20, 8 pm.