It may not have the opulence of Adour Alain Ducasse or the pedigree of L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon. But the Chef’s Table at Brooklyn Fare — an 18-seat bar and open kitchen inside a Boerum Hill grocery store — has something neither of those places has: two stars from the new Michelin Guide to New York, making it that book’s highest-rated restaurant outside Manhattan.
Yearly Archives: 2010
Bklyn Bloggage: home & design
Second fall: CasaCara
Recycled pillows: Reclaimed Home
Lighting up my life: Brooklyn Limestone
Etsy headquarters NYC: Swissmiss
Ideas matter: Third Ward
Only the Bar Knows Brooklyn
Last night I sat at the bar at Rachel’s Taqueria while waiting for the take-out quesadillas I ordered for OSFO to be ready. I ordered a glass of Chardonnay but had to return it because it tasted bad. The bartender was eager to replace it with good glass of Pinot Grigio.
Sitting on either side of me, two people were deep in conversation. Obvious strangers they had struck up a conversation about being new in New York City.
The woman, who works in development at a local college had obviously been in New York for a couple of years. The guy, however, was a real newbie. It was an endearing conversation for me to overhear and eventually become part of.
The young man, who works in a bar in DUMBO, was talking about what fun it is to get to know New York City. “Doing the tourist stuff and then just walking around,” he said. “Part of me wishes I was here before it became so gentrified.
“Well, there are still places you can go to know what it was like,” she said.
At this point I couldn’t resist putting my two cents in.
“You know what they say,” I told them. I don’t think they were expecting me to chime in.
“What?” the guy said. He was an open and friendly person in his late twenties, originally from Arizona.
“Only the dead know Brooklyn,” I said ominously.
“Oooh. That’s good,” he said. “Only the dead know Brooklyn.”
“It’s the name of a short story…and a blog,” I said. “My blog.”
“Hey, what’s your blog?”
And so we were off and running. And I didn’t even bother to tell them about the story written in brilliant Brooklynese by Thomas Wolfe. There was something energizing about being around these new New Yorkers who were discovering the city for the first time. I had the vague sense that both of them would make their lives here. Marry, have children. Years from now they’d remember their early years in Brooklyn, when they were just defining this city for themselves. Maybe they’d remember the woman in the raincoat who told them about that Thomas Wolfe story.
Maybe not.
High School Tour Confidential: Edward R. Murrow High School
This morning OSFO, Hepcat and I toured Edward R. Murrow High School, a school for 4,000 students in the East Flatbush neighborhood of Brooklyn.
Murrow is high school on steriods. There’s an LED sign at the entrance with info and words of welcome, four floors in a building that takes up 2 city blocks, 9 gymnasiums, a black box theater, a huge auditorium, music and art studios, chemistry labs and on and on. You need an iPhone App just to learn your way around. It might also help with their unusual scheduling system – not days or periods but “bands.”
The kids, however, seem to have no trouble negotiating their way around this large and ambitious public high school. Beth Siegel-Graf, an assistant principal who led the tour, did an incredibly good job of explaining the school’s non-traditional culture (i.e. the kids get up to two optional periods a day, called OPTAs, in which they are free to study, do homework, get tutored, socialize or eat).
During the lecture portion of the tour, Siegel-Graf was able to dispel rumors that the kids have too much freedom at the school because of those OPTA periods. Students are required to stay in the school building and freshmen through juniors are required to be in a space where there are teachers. When they become seniors they are allowed to sit on the floor in the school’s hallways during OPTAs — a special Murrow-style privilege.
Continue reading High School Tour Confidential: Edward R. Murrow High School
Current Weather in Park Slope
Brought to you by the Feldman Family from their local weather tower.
No Words Daily Pix: Photograph by Hugh Crawford
Teacher at Park Slope’s PS 282 Wins $25,000 Prize
Natasha Cooke Nieves, a teacher at Park Slope’s PS 282 on 6th Avenue and Berkeley Place, won a $25,000 cash award from the Milken Family Foundation (yes Milken of junk bond fame) for accomplished teachers. Nieves was among four other teachers from New York state to win the grant.
$25,000. Now that’s a very nice prize.
A science teacher at PS 282 for ten years, she now does staff development there. As reported by WNYC, today teachers and students gathered int he school’s gymnasium for the announcement. State Commissioner David Steiner, Schools Chancellor Joel Klein, and Lowell Milken of the Milken Family Foundation spoke briefly before revealing the real reason for their visit. Nieves knew in advance but was sworn to secrecy.
Not surprisingly, huge cheers erupted in the packed gymnasium as the students and teachers cheered their own. Nieves reportedly told the crowd: “Without you, boys and girls, we the teachers would not be here. Remember that you are our future and you’re going to be teaching us some day.”
OTBKB Music: The Baseball Project Predicts The Word Series
The baseball playoffs start today and The Baseball Project have a brand new song predicting the results of the playoffs and the World Series. Well, they have two predictions, actually: either the Twins beat the Giants or the Yankees beat the Phillies in the World Series. But keep in mind this is the same bunch of folks who predicted that the Cubs would go all the way this year and that the Phillies’ Roy Halladay would win 30 games.
You can listen to or download (free and legal) The Way It’s Gonna Be at Now I’ve Herd Everything by clicking here.
–Eliot Wagner
Westboro Baptist Church Faces Supreme Court Today
Today the Supreme Court will hear Albert Snyder’s case against the Westboro Baptist Church. Snyder sued the church and its leader after they staged an anti-gay demonstration at his son’s funeral in 2006.
The Westboro Baptist Church came through Brooklyn in 2009 and staged an anti-gay hate rally in front of Congregation Beth Elohim. Members of the congregation and Park Slope residents organized a counter demonstration. Here’s my report from September of 2009:
The Kansans were true to their word. They showed up at Congregation Beth Elohim sometime between 9 and 10 am on Saturday morning and picketed, as promised, the Saturday morning service.
This topped off a three-day assault on Brooklyn, which started with a brief rally at Brooklyn Tech in Fort Greene on Thursday. They also planned to picket three other Brooklyn synagogues.
Apparently Brooklyn has been targeted because the borough has the largest Jewish population int he country as well as a huge number of gay people.
Double whammy for the Kansans who believe that Jews—and homosexuals—are the devil incarnate. You can read more about this group from the Westboro Baptist Church. The name of their website says it all: www.godhatesfags.com,
Friends who were at Beth Elohim during the protest, said that the Kansans were spewing anti-Jewish slogans, singing songs, and holding anti-semitic and anti-gay signs. Rabbi Andy Bachman is said to have made an eloquent speech on the steps of the Garfield Place synagogue
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Oct 16: Insight Art Show and Magazine Release
My friends Mike Sorgatz of Art in Brooklyn and Atiba Edwards of Fresh Industries are throwing an art show and party to celebrate the release of the third issue of INSIGHT: Volume III.
The opening reception will be on October 16th, 2010 at Triomph Fitness (540 President St., Brooklyn, NY 11215). Featuring work by Bishop203, Laura Galvin, Victor Giganti, Michael Malik Jones-Robinson, Jamie Killen, Rick Midler, Michael Sorgatz, John Tebeau, Johanna Treffy, Alejandro Guzman, Bud Ramsay, Maria Baraybar, Peter Patchen, Spring Hofeldt, Cat Celebrezze, Ward Yoshimoto, Steve Riley, Brian Dupont, James Chen-Feng Kao, Jisoo Lee and more.
Feast on delicious homemade Brooklyn ice cream from Phinizy & Phebe (free scoop of ice cream to the first 11 people), gourmet rice crisps from riceworks and refreshing beverages from Teany. Additional sponsors include Art in Brooklyn, Creative Times, Triomph Fitness and Fresh Industries.
Bklyn Bloggage: food & drink
10 baking essentials: A Cake Bakes in Brooklyn
Apple strudel and apple picking at Hurd Orchards: A Kitchen in Brooklyn
Tips for lunch bringers: 2 Cooks in the Kitchen
Cooking and eating with friends: Community Cooking Club
Brunch at Lilla Cafe: Eat It
Ditch Plains Drop In at Bklyn Bridge Park: Eater
New cheese class: Stinky Bklyn
Bab al Yemen in Bay Ridge: NY Times
The Mama Rosa Hate Parade: Effed in Park Slope
Gross pink goop=Chicken McNuggets: Gizmodo (via Brokelyn)
Grand Canyon on 7th Avenue: Here’s Park Slope
Monthly Metrocard Rate Increase
Starting in 2011, the MTA is raising the price of a monthly Metrocard to $104 from $89. Dang, that monthly card was a good deal.
Despite the increase, the monthly cards will continue to be unlimited. The MTA considered raising the weekly card to $99 but that would have entailed limiting the number of rides. Commuters who spoke at public hearings didn’t like that idea.
Weekly MetroCards are also going up from $27 to $29.
Single-fare tickets will now cost $2.50, though those who use pay-per-ride MetroCards will still be charged $2.25 when they swipe.
Nurses Union Says Methodist is Understaffed
The Brooklyn Paper reports that The New York State Nurses Association says that nurses at New York Methodist Hospital are understaffed and overworked.
The union requires that there be at least one nurse for every six patients — but nurses at Methodist say that it’s more like one RN for every 14 customers in some wings.
According to the nurses that puts patients at risk. The hospital administration disagrees.
“Our data shows we’re in compliance with the contractual guidelines,” said Lyn Hill, a spokeswoman for New York Methodist in the Brooklyn Paper.
No Words Daily Pix: Photograph by Hugh Crawford
Oct 8 & 9: OpenHouse New York
It’s that time of year again: your chance to go through the doors of all the places you’ve been curious about in the city. OpenHouse New York (OHNY), considered one of the biggest architect and design event in the US, falls on October 9&10 this year.
For a full list of the sites you can see this Saturday and Sunday go to the OpenHouse New York website. But to whet your appetite, here’s a very partial list of what’s available.
3rd Ward Open Studios
African Burial Ground
Salmagundi House
American Irish Historical Society
Louis Armstrong House
The Apollo Theater
Architecture Research Office
AVAC System on Roosevelt Island
Scanian Glass
Baryshnikov Arts Center
And much, much more…
Zora Space Evolving Splendidly in Park Slope
Zora Space opened on Fourth Avenue near Third Street just a few months ago but already it is evolving into a wonderful—and necessary— art, music, poetry and cultural space in Park Slope.
Zohreh Shayesteh, the founder and director of Zora Space, is bringing the world to Park Slope. Born and raised In Iran. She left Iran before the 1978 revolution and has been a permanent New York City resident since 1981. She studied film production at New York University, and has worked as a T.V producer and director for various Local T.V stations in New York City. Prior to her latest film “Picking apples, drinking tea” She has written, directed and produced two short films “Requiem” and “ Agha Joon . Her documentary Film “Inside out “ was the official selection of 2006 Tribeca International Film Festival.
Clearly Zohreh is infusing Zora Space with her knowledge of international music, poetry, film and art to the space and that adds a fascinating and unusual dimension to its nightly offerings.
Here’s what’s happening at Zora Space this week:
Arts:
On view now: One Generation – Seven Artists presents seven Iranian artists graduated from Tehran University, Faculty of Art, during late1960s and early 1970s. “Our group of seven does not claim to have a manifesto; rather we present a collective exhibition from artists who share a lot of similar experiences. We don’t ask why we are all together, but half a century of friendship is the best mortar for our bonding.”Curate by Nahid Hagigat
Participating Artists:
Nahid Hagigat, Hadi Hazavei, Shahram Karimi, Abbas Kiarostami, Nicky Nodjoumi, Sudi Sharafshahi, Nasser Vaziri
Poetry and Music:
On Tuesday, October 5th at 7PM: Darryl Alladice is a writer and author of Jaundice, a collection of poems some of which focus on Sickle Cell Anemia. Born and raised in New York his works have been read at various events and clubs around the city including Bowery Poetry Club, Brownstone Books, City College of New York.
Vo-Duo, a duo group with Markus Schwartz and Monvelyno Alexis
Jazz duo interpreting the sacred rhythms and melodies of Haitian Vodou for electric guitar, voice and drum set. Monvelyno Alexis (electric guitar, voice) & Markus Schwartz (drums). This show will be the debut performance for this project.
Music:
October 8th at 8PM: Marketa Irglová of Swell Season will perfrom solo. She appeared in the film Once, about an Irish street musician and the young pianist he befriends. Among the songs Irglová wrote with Hansard for Once was “Falling Slowly,” which received an Academy Award for Best Original Song. Irglová became the first Czech woman to win an Oscar, and at age 19 she was the youngest person to win an Oscar in a musical category. Hansard and Irglová performed the song live on the Oscar broadcast at Los Angeles’ Kodak Theater on February 24, 2008
Ya Don’t Need to Be a Member to Attend Wordsprouts at the Park Slope Food Coop
Wordsprouts, the Park Slope Food Coop’s Reading Series, presents a reading for teens and young adults with author Torrey Maldonado on Friday, October 15 at 7 pm at the Coop.
Torrey Maldonado will read from his first novel, “Secret Saturdays,” which was published in April by Penguin. Inspired by his life and his students’ struggles with bullying, “Secret Saturdays” is about tough choices, friendships, and wanting to fit in.
Also, note that while all Wordsprouts participants are Coop members, you don’t need to be a Coop member to attend the series.
Food Demos at Fifth Avenue Farmers Market
Food demos are quite the thing these days. And the Park Slope Farmers Market has a slew of them planned over the next few Sundays. Here is the schedule over the next few weeks. Cooks from the following restaurants will be demoing various recipes.
Oct 10: Baluchis
Nov 7: Stone Park
Nov 21: Palo Santo
Hello, Goodbye: Restaurants and Shops in Park Slope
When it comes to restaurants and shops in Park Slope, sometimes we must say goodbye to old friends and hello to new ones:
Good bye to:
Artesana Home, the imported rug, furniture and jewelry store, has been a fixture on the corner of 2nd Street and Seventh Avenue in Park Slope for 11 years. Fare thee well.
Long Tan, the longtime Thai eatery on Fifth Avenue between Union and Berkeley is leaving its spot. Fare thee well.
Total Wine Bar on Fifth Avenue between St. Marks and Warren Street, seems to be totally gone. Fare thee well.
Paper xoxo, the card, stationery and specialty design shop is closed. Her online business is still OPEN.
Zana, the cafe/pastry shop right near the Seventh Avenue F train station on Seventh Avenue is gone, gone, gone. Fare thee well.
Hello:
Taro Sushi on Flatbush Avenue at St. Marks Place is open and looking good. Welcome neighbor!
Naruto Rame on Fifth Avenue between 1st Street and Garfield Place is open and serving very tasty soup! Welcome neighbor!
An exspresso cafe is replacing Zana, the above-mentioned cafe/pastry shop near the F Train station. Welcome neighbor whoever you are!
Etsy Cooking Club with “2 Cooks in the Kitchen”
2 Cooks in the Kitchen will be the hosts of the first Community Cooking Club at ETSY’s DUMBO headquarters (55 Washington Street in Dumbo between Water and Front Street, suite 512). on Wednesday, October 6th at 6:30PM.
Eleanor Whitney from 2 Cooks will be making lunch dishes suitable to bring to work or school! Apparently tickets for this event are getting scooped up quickly, so make sure to get your $10 CCC ticket online today before they’re all gone!
On the horizon:
On Wednesday, November 10th at 6:30 PM the Community Cooking Club will be hosted by food writer and cook Cathy Erway of the blog Not
Eating Out in NY and the subsequent book “The Art of Eating In: How I Learned to Stop Spending and Love the Stove.”
Here’s the Park Slope Halloween Plan
This year the Park Slope Halloween Parade is scheduled for Sunday, October 31. The parade kicks off at 14th Street at 6:30 pm, and will probably begin turning onto Third Street around 7 pm.
The finale will take place on the turf field on the 4th avenue side of the Old Stone House, and we’re trying to encourage people not to park on the block of Third Street between 5th and 4th Avenues, since that’s where the parade will enter the park.
At the end of the Parade there will be music from Paprika and a steel band – long-time parade participants – and the post-parade party will end by 10 pm.
Prior to the parade, a costume contest will take place on 7th avenue in front of the John Jay High School Building at 4 pm.
For more information on the parade details, visit the Park Slope Civic Council website.
Oct 8: The Last Day to Register for General Elections
The last day to register in person for the November 2, 2010 general election is October 8, 2010. The office will be opened until midnight.
I’m guessing that you can register at the Brooklyn Board of Elections, which is located at 345 Adams Street on the 4th floor. The phone number is: 1.718-797-8800
To register to vote in the City of New York, you must:
1. Be a citizen of the United States (Includes those persons born in Puerto Rico, Guam and the U.S. Virgin Islands).
2. Be a New York City resident for at least 30 days.
3. Be 18 years of age before the next election.
4. Not be serving a jail sentence or be on parole for a felony conviction.
5. Not be adjudged mentally incompetent by a court.
6. Not claim the right to vote elsewhere (outside the City of New York).
Although you can register any time during the year, your form must be delivered or mailed at least 25 days before the next election for it to be effective for that election.
City Council Post-Mortem on September Primary Problems
Polling places opened late, poll workers weren’t trained, there weren’t enough “privacy sleeves,” and some scanners jammed: those were just some of the problems discussed at yesterday’s City Council post-mortem about problems connected with the new voting procedures on primary day last month.
Hopefully by the actual election on November 2nd these problems will be resolved.
The Board of Elections said at yesterday’s hearing that additional training will be provided to poll worker and more privacy sleeves will be available in the booths where voters mark their ballots, so they can conceal ballots as they walk to the scanner.
Board of Elections Administrative Manager Pam Perkins told WNYC that the board would conduct additional training of coordinators and poll workers so they “will be better prepared to respond to voters’ needs.”
Brooklyn In The Kitchen With New Cookbook
What a great idea: Al Di La in your very own kitchen. In other words: a cookbook dedicated to the new Brooklyn restaurant and artisan food movement.
Husband-and-wife duo Melissa and Brendan Vaughan have created The New Brooklyn Cookbook featuring the best of Brooklyn food (and we’re not talking Juniors and Nathan’s):
The book includes instructions for preparing Doug’s Pecan Pie Sundae, a real treat heretofore only available at Buttermilk Channel in Carroll Gardens. It’s awesome.
Other dishes in the book: Steak and Eggs Korean Style, The Good Fork; Cast Iron Chicken, Vinegar Hill House; Tofu with Broad Beans and Chili Bean Paste, The General Greene; Spaghetti Alla Vongole, Al Di La; Beef Sauerbraten with Braised Red Cabbage and Pretzel Dumplings, Prime Meats; Hoppy American Brown Ale—Homebrew Recipe, Sixpoint Craft Ales Brewery.
Yum.
Included in the book are profiles of Brooklyn’s best food makers and purveyors, from cheesemakers and picklers to chocolatiers and bakers. The result is an inside look at the ingredients behind all your favourite restaurant dishes.
Long Tan, Longtime Park Slope Thai, Is Closing
Long Tan, that attractive Thai eatery on Park Slope’s Fifth Avenue, is closing after ten years in business. I’ve had many a meal there (even one birthday party for my husband) and I always enjoyed their curries, their Pad Thai and their delicious wide noodles (Pad See Ew).
The lanterns and bright colored interior always made it a fun place to eat and drink (ginger martinis!). I especially liked their outdoor patio, a pretty place for alfresco dining (and drinking: ginger martinis!).
Apparently, a new cocktail place is coming in a few months.
Best of luck to the Long Tan people! We’ll miss you.
Vote for Brooklyn Do Gooders
You have just 9 days to vote for the Brooklyn Do Gooder Awards. 200 “do gooders” have been nominated by people all over Brooklyn and the public voting period is going on now and ends on October 15, 2010.
After the public voting period a group of judges, including novelist Peter Hedges, WNYC’s Laura Walker, Brooklyn Industries’ Lexy Funk, Laurie A. Cumbo of the Museum of Contemporary African Diasporan Arts, Stephen Hindy of Brooklyn Brewery, Sara Horowitz of Freelancers Insurance among others others, will select five winners from among the 20 finalists.
The criteria: The Brooklyn Do Gooder Awards campaign celebrates the altruism, philanthropy and commitment of five Brooklyn Do Gooders working towards a stronger, better Brooklyn.
“These are individuals who embody the highest value of community service and philanthropy; exceptional individuals who display an outstanding sense of giving back locally–with time, talent and/or charity.”
The winners will be honored at the Foundation’s anniversary celebration on November 3, 2010 at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden.
So how do you find out who’s been nominated?
Well, it’s a little overwhelming. But your best bet is to go to the Brooklyn Do Gooder Awards website. There you will find pages and pages of small photographs of the nominees. If you put your cursor on a photo you will see the name and category of that person (Arts for All, Caring Neighbors, Education and Youth Achievement, Community Development, & Green Communities). If you want to learn more you can click on the photo.
It’s actually really fun and interesting to learn about the people who have been nominated.
I am also getting emails from the friends of nominated individuals campaigning on behalf of their friends and colleagues.
Oct 7: Park Slope Civic Council Meeting
The Park Slope Civic Council is holding its monthly trustees meeting on Thursday, Oct. 7 at 8PM at the New York Methodist Hospital Executive Dining Room. This meeting is always open to the public. In fact, if you want to make a presentation to the Civic Council about a pertinent issue you can. It’s too late for this meeting because you need to give advance notice of at least ten days in writing but here’s the way to do it for the next meeting:
1. Application. Download an application form from our website and send it to mail@parkslopeciviccouncil.org.
2. Advance Notice.
(a) People wishing to make purely informational presentations -– in other words, a vote of the Civic Council is not requested –- must inform the Civic Council Secretary at least ten (10) days prior to a monthly meeting.
(b) People wishing to make a presentation for which a vote of the Civic Council is requested must inform the Civic Council Secretary at least thirty (30) days prior to a monthly meeting.3. Presentation Materials. Any materials (handouts, etc.) that are intended to accompany a presentation must be submitted in electronic format at the same time the request to make a presentation is made. (Elected officials and their representatives are exempt from this requirement.) Acceptable file formats are Microsoft Word, Microsoft PowerPoint, PDF, and Google Docs. Please e-mail them with your application form to mail@parkslopeciviccouncil.org.
Also, please be sure to provide all audio/visual equipment needed to make your presentation.4. Timekeeping. Unless a longer time is approved in advance by the Civic Council, all people making a presentation to the Civic Council will be limited to five (5) minutes.
Bklyn Bloggage: neighborhoods
Keeping versed on Vito: Bushwick BK
Greenfield Clothiers: Bushwick BK
Dunkin’ Donuts Conversion: Gerritsen beach
PSA: NY Shitty
Winner of Senior Idol: Sheepshead Bites
People at Food Coop hire hookers: Effed in Park Slope
The great pupkin: Clinton Hill Blog
Current Weather in Park Slope
Brought to you by the Feldman Family from their local weather tower.
Brooklyn Rail 10th Anniversary
The Brooklyn Rail, is celebrating its 10th anniversary with a fiction anthology, a non-fiction anthology and live special events.
Just out is The Brooklyn Rail Fiction Anthology edited by Donald Breckinbridge and Jen Zoble. The collection includes some familiar names like Jonathan Baumbach, Sharon Mesmer, Aaron Zimmerman (who runs the NY Writers Coalition) and Albert Moblilio and many more.
Here’s who’s included in the fiction anthology: Diane Williams, Brian Evenson, Caila Rossi, Lynda Schor, John Yau, Barbara Henning, Michael Martone, Jacques Roubaud (translated by Guy Bennet), Susan Daitch, Jim Feast, Martha King, Lynn Crawford, Lewis Warsh, Pat MacEnulty, Will Fleming, Carmen Firan (translated by Dorin Motz), Bart Cameron, Constanza Jaramillo Cathcart, Aaron Zimmerman, Sharon Mesmer, Jeremy Sigler, Jill Magi, Blake Radcliffe, Meredith Brosnan, Evan Harris, Douglas Glover, Johannah Rogers, Jonathan Baumbach, Marie Carter, Doug Nufer, Leslie Scalapino, Robert Pinget (translated by Barbara Wright), Elizabeth Reddin, Kenneth Bernard, Jean Frémon (translated by Brian Evanson), R. M. Berry, Thomas D’Adamo, Albert Mobilio, John Reed, and Kurt Strahm.
Also out is Pieces of a Decade: Brooklyn Rail Non-fiction edited by Theodor Hamm and Williams Cole
“Now I’m not going to tell you everything that’s in the collection, but I will say that it offers: Howard Zinn’s prophetic critique of the war in Iraq before it happened; Reverend Billy’s gospel alongside that of hardened, unrepentant Marxists; and a wide variety of Whitmanesque odes to Brooklyn’s past and present, as well as to the borough’s future that never shall be. Besides that, it’s the only time that Jane Jacobs and Jason Flores-Williams have been bound between the same two covers. And rest assured that Anders Goldfarb’s photos capture our world. So if you have balls, you’ll buy this book. And if you don’t have balls, you’re still welcome to purchase it.”