I just heard about an amazing blog called The Audacity of Pope, written by Raphael Pope-Sussman, a 22-year-old from Park Slope who has testicular cancer. He was diagnosed in December and earlier this month underwent RPLEND surgery and is now cancer-free.
Some of the writing is dark, much of it is funny and all of it conveys a smart, honest voice that is compelling and very much his own. Pope-Sussman is a junior at Columbia and also, it turns out, the editorial page editor of the Columbia Spectator.
I urge you read Pope-Sussman’s blog. Here is an excerpt from an April post called Standing Tall:
For the past four months, this blog has been a source of strength and joy for me. It’s been a place to do the thing that I’ve always wanted to do—to write, earnestly and simply, about my life. It’s been funny and serious and all that jazz. Most importantly, it’s been honest. I’ve been writing what I’ve been feeling.
In my most recent post, I wrote some of my feelings on illness, on my continuing discomfort with those who are sick.
Blogging about my experiences has meant opening up to my friends and family—and some strangers—about my thoughts and my fears.
I wrote yesterday that, “All men are patient when they’re in the desert.” For four months, I’ve been patient in the desert. Being patient—being stoic—has made these months bearable. I’ve never been angry. I’ve never wept. I have not often been scared.
I haven’t been patient alone. I’ve been blessed with such incredible generosity and kindness from everyone around me. People I’ve known my whole life and people I’ve known for years or months. Even people I’ve never met.
As I wrote the other day, I can’t sleep anymore. I went to bed at six in the morning last night and I woke up at four today.
Lying in bed, my mind kept coming back to having surgery. I wasn’t stoic or steely nerved or patient at all. I was scared. Terrified.
I’ve been covering these pages with philosophizing, but today, I have no great wisdom to share.
All I know is I feel like a freaked out kid, three days before a great unknown.
I don’t write this to alarm anyone. G-d knows I don’t write it for sympathy or pity or support. I just write this because it’s the truth. And after all I’ve been through—after all I’ve written here—I owe it to myself and to my readers to write what is true.
So that’s it. I’m still standing tall. But I’m scared shitless.
Pope-Sussman is also giving away Rafstrong bracelets (pictured above):
When this all began, my friends joked that I should get bracelets for people to wear, a la Lance Armstrong. Then we actually decided to do it. I ordered a batch of bracelets, in light blue, inscribed with the word “Rafstrong.” At first I was just going to give them out, but then I decided I might as well use the opportunity to do something good for the world. Whenever I give someone a bracelet (they are free), I ask that he donate a small sum to a charity of his choice. It can be any charity, provided it’s not overly political or cancer-related. Donations are on the honor system, but I suggest that people who do donate let me know where they gave, just so I can keep track.
If you’re interested in getting a bracelet, please e-mail gorafstrong@gmail.com. I’ll mail bracelets anywhere in the world, free of charge.
Thank you. And stay Rafstrong!