Here's this weeks greetings from Scott, the pub quizzer at Rocky Sullivan's in Red Hook. He also performs as RebelMart at places like Freddy's Backroom. This post is brought to you by Miss Wit, the t-shirt lady.

Greetings Pub Quiz Robocall Recipients…

Unless, of course, it's a real live person.  Which sometimes, you hope it is.

The National Rifle Association has been calling our house.  Thanks to Caller ID, I've seen their number come up time and again.  Probably seven or eight times.  It's a northern Virginia area code.

They're calling because they hate Mayor Bloomberg for his anti-gun stance.  Don't know if they realize they're asking voters to side with Bill Thompson or the Rev. Billy Talen.   Don't know if they care.  The NRA's pretty myopic.  Must come from generations of squinting through rifle sights.

the NRA has many allies…

But they did perform the insanely impossible — made me side with Michael Bloomberg for once.

Instead
of telling them "I despise Michael Bloomberg.  I want you to understand
my full meaning when I tell you I'd going with him over you," this is
what the woman from the NRA was told: "I want you to know that my
father committed suicide with a handgun, and I don't appreciate you
calling here."

Desperate times require desperate measures.  Nothing of the sort ever happened to my father.  See Times, Desperate and Measures, Desperate.

Flustered but sticking to script, the NRA caller said "oh, well, we're very sorry, and, uh, we'll update our records."

Click.

Honestly, I'd have respected the NRA caller if she'd really
stuck to script and said "guns didn't kill your father — your father
killed your father."  As I've learned, respect and utter contempt
aren't mutually exclusive.  In fact, they can be touchy-feely
hand-holders.

But no — the NRA caller just punked out and disrespected the memory of Charlton Heston,
whose hands couldn't be colder and deader at the present juncture but
who would be aghast at the scripted niceties being doled about by
today's NRA.  Heston wouldn't take this attack on the NRA lying down.

…well, actually now he would.

another
frustrated bitter gun owner realizing he'd have to vote for a black
liberal or an environmental anti-consumerist faux preacher with a big
church and a bigger hairdo.  Well, if that grip weren't so darned
tight…

And now, here in New York, we have the election-season
oddity of a wealthy immoral lobbying group trying to buy the election
from a wealthy immoral mayor who's trying to buy the election.

If I were feeling benevolent to the rest of the world, I'd chortle "only in America!"  But I'm not, and it's not.

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