Here's this weeks Smartmom from the Brooklyn Paper:
Smartmom and Hepcat are as spooked as everyone else by the recent
economic downturn. But as chronic, hard-working underachievers, it’s
not like they really got to enjoy the recent economic boom anyway.
Still, there’s loads to be nervous about. As freelancers, Smartmom
and Hepcat are dubious that they’ll ever get hired to do anything
again. As Dumb Editor pointed out in last week’s column, it’s not likely that President Obama will be setting up a WPA for writers.
So everyone is glum, but Smartmom, ever the cockeyed optimist, is
sure that there’s a silver lining to the world’s money troubles.
For one thing, the Depression of 2009 is bringing more people down
to their standard of living: life in a rent-stabilized apartment with a
minimal amount in the old savings account.
There are other benefits as well. Like coming up with creative and
inexpensive fun. No more $25 entrees at the Stone Park Café or $100
seats at the Next Wave Festival. It’s time for potluck dinner parties,
nights spent reading “Gravity’s Rainbow” or “Ulysses,” and extra
intra-marital sex.
It’ll be like the 1930s all over again, a time when everyone pulled
together and learned how to get by on a little — saving rubber bands
and using a tea bag for more than three cups of tea.
In other ways, too, Smartmom is grateful for the these troubled times:
• For one thing, she won’t have to eavesdrop on any more
conversations about kitchen fixtures while at Connecticut Muffin (she’s
already switched to regular coffee at the newsstand). She’s had it up
to here with those long-winded discussions about people’s kitchen
renovations. Sub-Zero refrigerators. Garland Stoves. Granite counters.
Enough.
As a renter, Smartmom never got to do a kitchen renovation.
Sure, she and Hepcat have bought their share of Metro Shelving at a
kitchen supply stores on the Bowery. But she never got to pick out an
expensive Miele dishwasher or a pretty backsplash.
• Now that there’s a real-estate slump, Smartmom can stop regretting
not buying one of those then-affordable houses in the North Slope,
South Slope and Ditmas Park they considered back in 1999. Maybe one
day, they’ll be able to afford something in the Slope …
Nor will she have to endure endless bragging about how much her
friend’s houses, coops and condos are worth and how rich they’ll be
when they retire.
Those conversations always make Smartmom feel like the real estate
loser that she is. It seemed like it was limitless how much her
friends’ properties were going to be worth one day while Smartmom and
Hepcat just sank more and more money into her landlord’s pocket.
Everyone knows that Smartmom and Hepcat are real losers when it
comes to the real-estate wars. But now she’s just glad that they have a
roof over their heads that they can afford, which will be big enough
once Teen Spirit moves out next year to go on his Gap Year.
• She also won’t have to feel foolish for having decided to be a
writer rather than a lawyer, a bond trader or a financial analyst. For
years, she kicked herself for not choosing a more lucrative profession.
Maybe it’s time to retire the envy she feels toward people who could
count on yearly bonuses that enabled them to live the high life like
second homes, ski trips and beach vacations.
• And Smartmom is glad that she won’t have to defend the value of public school anymore. Isn’t it obvious? It’s free. Get it?
• It’s also nice that Smartmom doesn’t have to envy those friends
who had enough disposable income to collect contemporary art and famous
name modern furniture. She can do what she’s always done: just frame
one of Hepcat’s photographs if they need something on their wall.
Frankly, the new Depression isn’t that different from life as usual
in their Third Street apartment. Economic insecurity, revolving debt,
and a never expanding standard of living.
Welcome to my life, Smartmom says. It’s not that bad, you know
