Last summer, my father ordered tickets for 8 operas during the 2008-2009 Met season. How optimistic that was. It makes me want to cry. I remember seeing the page of the Met brochure with his circlings of the operas he wanted to see.

When he was in the hospital last August he did say something like, "You guys are going to have to use those opera tickets."

We wouldn’t even discuss it. It felt too morbid, too unbearable. I remember looking away.

The opera tickets have become a bittersweet reminder of my dad’s influence. Every few weeks or so we figure out who gets to go.

Hepcat has been to the most operas so far. He saw Faust with my stepmother, Queen of Spades with my sister and Thais with me.

My father’s seats are in the Family Circle. He swore by those seats; the sound is very good up there even though it’s miles from the stage. For decades my maternal grandparents had season tickets in the middle of the orchestra but those were dropped a few years back.So as a family, we’re very spoiled about our seating at the Met. Still, my father liked those Family Circle seats.

"You know how he liked a bargain," Hepcat said last night as we trudged up the stairs. But it’s actually quite fun up there.

Thais is a late 19th century French opera by Massenet about a beautiful courtesan who is convinced by a monk to take the path of chastity and become a nun.

It is a lyrical and wrenching portrait of a woman, who is  attached to the worldly notion of herself as an earthly and sensuous beauty — a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown who literally sees the light.

Trouble is, the monk falls in love with her…

Listening to the swooningly romantic music — sung by the great Renee Fleming — I was just dumbstruck by the power of this opera. At one point there’s a long and exquisite violin solo, it’s called the Meditation, that reminded me of something in a Charlie Chaplin film like City Lights.

Oh there was also a sexy belly dance and a kinky kiss on the lips between the belly dancer and a female singer.

So it was with joy not sadness that we sat in my father’s seats taking in the gorgeous singing, the stunning scenery and the sweeping lyricism of this opera, a Met Premiere.

I imagined my father circling this opera in that brochure: it was obviously something he wanted to see (the fact that it is rarely performed at the Met? Renee Fleming? Something else?)

I can’t say for sure what he would have said about it: his commentary was always informed and sometimes surprising.

But somehow I think he would have swooned over the voice of Diva Fleming and that violin solo that had me at hello.

Gorgeous.

A reading and discussion of the Brooklyn Historical Society’s newly published Park Slope Neighborhood and Architectural History Guide with OTBKB fave Francis Morrone, an  architectural historian and writer.

7 pm.  $10 suggested donation

The Where and When

Thursday, December 11 at 7 p.m.
The Old Stone House
Fifth Avenue and Third Street  in Washington Park

Amos Eno Gallery is pleased to present “Close,” an exhibit of new
photographs by Anthony Cuneo, on display from November 25 to December
20, 2008. A reception for the artist will be held December 4th from
6:00 to 8:00 p.m.
There will be a reading by Ellen Ferguson, Marian Fontana, Louise Crawford and others as part of this opening in DUMBO.

Anthony Cuneo began work on the images comprising “Close” in
2007, shooting in venues as different as New Mexico and suburban New
Jersey, and exploring subjects as diverse as the birth scars left on a
landscape by seam volcanoes or the root systems of invasive plants.
Working digitally from film originals, Cuneo adjust his images, on
occasion combining them into pairs or triptychs, sometimes presenting
them in a straight-forward manner, sometimes manipulating their colors
and values in a tactile fashion.

An awareness of touch and texture is very evident in these new
photographs and the viewer frequently senses that the objects shown
echo other forms and traditions; the word “close” refers not only to
the distance from which the images were shot but the sense that the
resultant pictures contain meanings held close within, layered behind
the ostensible subjects and needing close reading to be understood.
Located within the shadow cast by the photographer (an homage to Lee
Friedlander), a pair of rocks read as a heart or lungs. Shot suspended
in space, roots twist and curl like capillaries. Elements of landscape
are treated as objects, the objects become bodies, the bodies reveal
their own internal landscapes. Closely observed textures and forms
paradoxically seem powerfully, palpably solid and dangerously fragile.

Cuneo received his M.F.A. in painting from the University of
Pennsylvania and has been exploring photography over the last several
years. With this exhibit, he begins to treat his photographic works in
a painterly way, manipulating and combining images. He has an extensive
national exhibit record and is represented in numerous private
collections. Cuneo’s work is remarkable for its compelling aesthetics
and expressive power.

The Amos Eno Gallery is open Tuesday through Saturday from 11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

The Where and When

December 13, 6 pm – 8 pm
Opening of Close and Reading
Amos Eno Gallery
111 Front Street, #202 In Dumbo
Brooklyn, NY 11201

Did you know that the NYC Department of Education prohibits gifts from individuals of more than a modest nature to teachers in public schools?

While class gifts are permitted — although only modest amount should be asked from each family. — all names of families and children must be on the card whether or not that family contributed.

According to a note from the administration of PS 321, It is very important that you follow this regulation or else you put teachers in danger of violating conflict of interest regulations.

Below is the Chancellor’s Regulation C-110 with more information about gifts for teachers:

E. Gifts, Fundraising, and Celebrations for
  New or Newly-Promoted Staff Member

1. Gifts and Fundraising       
      

No student, parent, guardian, school class, official or employee is required or expected to contribute toward any gift or testimonial to an official or employee of
  the Department of Education. No class, student, parent, official or employee shall be expected or required to
  participate in any fundraising activity.

      

a. Gifts from individual students, parents
  and/or guardians

      

Individual students, parents and/or guardians
  may wish to make gifts to officials and employees at the end of the year and at similar occasions, such as holidays,
  weddings, and the birth of an official’s or employee’s child. However, discretion must be used to ensure that
  officials and employees do not accept gifts of value from individual children, parents or guardians. Only those gifts
  that are principally sentimental in nature and of small financial value may be accepted.

      

b. Gifts from School Classes

      

In addition to individual gifts, sometimes an
  entire school class may wish to make a gift to officials and employees at the end of the year and at similar occasions,
  such as holidays, weddings and the birth of an official’s or employee’s child. Officials and employees may
  accept gifts from whole classes of students, their parents and/or guardians, provided that each student, parent or
  guardian in the class has the opportunity to sign the card or note that comes with the gift, whether or not the
  student, parent or guardian contributed to the cost of the gift.

  Ever innovative, the Brooklyn Museum of Art is doing the social networking tihng:

A
first-of-its-kind new socially networked
Membership tier has been created at the
Brooklyn Museum and will debut on January 3,
2009 at Target First Saturdays. The
program,
known as 1stfans, will offer paperless
benefits through the social networks
Facebook, Flickr, and Twitter, as well as
exclusive live events at the Museum’s monthly
Target First Saturdays, all for an
annual fee
of $20.

Artists from Swoon’s studio will be on hand
to help
launch the initiative at the January Target
First Saturday, the Museum’s popular evening
of art and entertainment in which the Museum
is open until 11 p.m. with free admission
beginning at 5 p.m. They will create prints
on found paper to be provided that evening by
new 1stfans.

"Traditionally, Membership has meant a
connection between one person and an
institution," comments Membership Manager
William Cary. "By engaging our Members
through online social networks and with live
events at Target First Saturdays, we
have created a way for visitors to become
associated with
the Museum and with each other. 1stfans isn’t
just an online category of Membership; it’s a
completely new way of using Membership to
grow our Museum community."

A groundbreaking benefit of the program will
be a unique method of utilizing Twitter, the
free social networking and micro-blogging
service, to connect with 1stfans. Twitter
technology enables its users to send and read
other users’ updates, known as tweets, text
posts of up to 140 characters in length.
Each month, the 1stfans Twitter Art Feed will
provide original content from contemporary
artists exclusively to 1stfans, providing
them with unique access to the perspectives
of many contemporary artists. The January
Twitter Art Feed artist will be announced in
mid-December.

It always sounds so easy. "Let’s go skating." Three simple words and you envision yourself peacefully gliding on Kate Wollman Rink next to the lake and those picturesque reeds swaying in the wind.

But first you have to find your skates in your overstuffed closet. And do OSFO’s still fit? Don’t forget the down vest, the scarf, the hats, the gloves.  Oh, mittens will do. But you have to have something to protect your hands from the ice!

Finally you’re dressed in your skating gear and you get overheated waiting for Diaper Diva to show up in the car. Once in the car:

"How do we get there?" she asks.

Simple you say. Just take Prospect Park West, take the traffic circle, then Prospect Park Southwest, another traffic circle, over by the Tennis House, enter the park, stay right, left into the parking lot…

Finally the car is parked and as you approach the rink you notice a long line of people who had the same exact terrific idea. Luckily, the line moves quickly…

"They don’t take credit cards," Diaper Diva grumbles. 

Obviously. We pay cash and add $6.50 so that Ducky can rent a pair of skates. She’s got the baby skates with her but Diaper Diva wants to try her on the real thing.

And what about a lock for the locker? You need somewhere to put all this crap…

Okay. Lacing up is an essential part of the process. The process. Yes, it’s the process not the product. That means slow down and honor the lacing of your  skates and the skates of all the children with you. Bend down and Enjoy it. Do it again. Tighter. How does that feel?

Oh my back.

Finally. Finally. The group of  four gets onto the ice and yes, memories return, of going skating with a 4-year-old (even a highly coordinated one).

She does a good job of standing up but only with the help of mom and cousin on either side of her slowly, slowly going ’round the rink.

After two times around, Diaper Diva is ready for hot chocolate at the snack bar. They get back onto the ice and after once around…

"Everyone off the ice." A voice over the PA system booms. Time for the Zamboni.

A total of three times around the ice and it’s time to go home. Ice skating. Such a nice, simple idea.

Riding home in the car. "Let’s go ice skating next weekend." And instantly, visions of peacefully gliding around the rink…
 

This month you can see The Limbo Room, a film by Park Slope writer, Jill Eisenstadt and her sister, Debra Eisentadt on the Sundance Channel. The first screenin gis at 10 p.m.. For other times, check the listings on the Sundance channel website.

This modern day drama about life in the theater and the politics of sex
revolves around a long time Off Broadway understudy. Ann receives a
much-needed dose of hope when a fellow understudy (Russell) takes over
a principal role to much acclaim. But, when an on-stage rape scene
sparks an off-stage affair between Russell and his co-star (KC), the
line between reality and fiction becomes blurred. Soon KC is accusing
Russell of really harassing her during the performance. Is KC truly a
victim? Is Russell actually a villain? No one can tell. Thrust into the
middle of the conflict, Ann questions the motives of everyone around
her while allowing her own vanity and ambition to lead her astray.

Yay. Today is Immaculate Conception Day. And Monday through Wedesday it’s Idul-Adha.

Tonight: Don’t miss the fabulous Famous Accordion Orchestra at Barbes.

They used to be called Accordian Angels. For a moment they were thinking about Squeeze
Louise and I liked that but they obviously passed on that idea. ,

Oh well.

But they’re the only accordion quartet in Park Slope and maybe the
only one in Brooklyn. I will look to my neighbor Bob Goldberg to
correct me on that.

Whatever the case, they’re wonderful and I highly recommend them. The fact that two of the members are neighbors,well, that’s just gravy.

The Where and When

Monday, December 8 at 7 p.m.
Barbes on 9th Street just east of 6th Avenue
Suggested donation is $10

You can surely get it at the Community Bookstore. And if it’s not in stock, order  it online.

Mrs. Cleavage recommends Delicious on the Slope, located on President Street just west of Fifth Avenue. She even writes about it on her blog, Eat, Drink, Memory: the sweet and savory musings of a food obsessed writer.

Look no further than Delicious on the Slope for free access to the Internet.

The newly re-opened restaurant is offering its customers free WiFi. 

Stay
all day and never miss a meal. They have a full menu that spans
breakfast, lunch and dinner in case you’re hungry for something savory
not sweet. Not hungry? The espresso is perfect with a beautiful ochre
crema

In November we joined the Freelancers Union for a health insurance plan (Empire Blue Shield). We were desperate to find a new plan when Hepcat’s COBRA ended. Now I’m  curious about interesting developments over at FU. They’ve started their own insurance company called Freelancers Insurance Company. The new plan, which has slightly higher monthly rates, starts on January 1.

On Thursday, December 11, Sara Horowitz, Executive Director of Freelancers Union and CEO of
Freelancers Insurance Company, will be answering members’ questions
about FIC during an upcoming webinar. Sara will talk about how FIC will
work, why Freelancers Union started the insurance company, and what FIC
means for the future of the organization. You must register in advance
to participate, and to foster an environment where you can get your
questions answered, space for each webinar will be limited to 75
members. For info go here. 

The following is an excerpt from a story in today’s New York Times:

By many measures, the Freelancers Union
has been a success — the Brooklyn-based organization has 92,000
members; it provides health, dental and disability coverage to
thousands of freelancers; and its founder, Sara Horowitz, won a
MacArthur “genius” fellowship.

As part of her vision to
create a safety net for freelancers, Ms. Horowitz had long dreamed of
creating a health insurance company that tailored its offerings to
freelancers, be they Web designers, jazz musicians, graphic artists or
dancers.

In mid-November, she proudly announced that the
Freelancers Union had set up a state-approved health insurer — the
Freelancers Insurance Company — that offered significantly lower
premiums and better coverage than freelancers could generally obtain on
the open market.

Numerous health care experts and foundations,
including the Rockefeller and Ford Foundations, helped establish the
new company, and Ms. Horowitz was perhaps expecting widespread applause
over its formation. Instead she faced a surprising amount of carping
and sniping.

A month ago, Ms. Horowitz wrote to 19,000 members
who had obtained coverage through the union’s current plan with Empire
Blue Cross and Blue Shield, telling them that they had to choose from
the new company’s five health plans — or look elsewhere for coverage.
That move sparked considerable criticism, and even inspired a Web site,
upsetfu.blogspot.com.

Come to a holiday open studio at the home of Simon and Renee Dinnerstein, Park Slope’s first family of creativty.

Artwork: Eight new giclee prints of works by Simon Dinnerstein
Music: The Berlin Concert and Bach’s Goldberg Variations CDs by Simone Dinnerstein will be available

The Where and When

Saturday, December 6, 1pm – 6pm
Sunday, December 7, 1pm – 6pm
Home of Simon and Renee Dinnerstein
415 First Street (between 6th and 7th Avenues) | Brooklyn , NY
Please RSVP to pturtle58@aol.com  or 718.788.4387

Visit www.simondinnerstein.com/prints.html to preview available prints

I sort of collect funny Food Coop stories and here are two I heard the other night.

A guy who works at a bookstore in Park Slope told a group standing around the cash register that he’d just walked into the Food Coop, unaware that non-members aren’t allowed in.

Those of us who are coop members were unabashedly shocked. I’ve never walked into the Coop without someone asking to see my membership card.

Somehow this young lad was able to walk right in. No one stopped him or asked to see his card. He went to the produce area and picked up a banana.

"What are you doing?" a working coop member approached him and spoke to him quite firmly.

"I’m holding a banana?" he said.

Rim shot.

He was swiftly escorted out.

The woman who owns the bookstore told of the time she was doing check-out at the Coop and a non-member came up to her station with a shopping cart full of food and enthused about what a lovely shopping experience he’d had at this lovely grocery store.

Then she broke it to him. She told him that he needed to be a member to shop there.

"You mean I’m not allowed to buy this food?" he said sadly.

"That’s right," she told him. "You have to be a member."

Please send in your choices for The Park Slope 100. People are sending in some great  ideas for this list which includes 100 names, 100 stories, 100 ways of looking at the world. And yes, 100 ways of reaching out towards others and making an impact.

Don’t be shy. Nominate your friends, your neighbors, even yourself. Someone did. There’s no shame in that. I’ll never tell.

Bring my attention to people I don’t know about. I want to know about them. Take a look at the lists from the last two years for ideas. There are no repeats but it may remind you of someone who needs to be on the list. 

Do this soon. The list is almost done…

From the Brooklyn Paper:

Distance. Divorce. Death. Holidays are fraught with strong feelings
of absence and longing. Intermingled with the festivity — and all the
delicious food and lively conversation — there’s the ever-present
awareness of who is far away and who is no longer around.

Indeed, this time of year is tough for Hepcat, living so far from
his large family in Northern California. And while he has always
enjoyed Thanksgiving with Smartmom’s relatives, Smartmom knows that a
part of him pines for connection with his. To make matters worse, his
father died on the eve of Thanksgiving in 1984, so he will always
asssoicate this holiday with that devastating loss.

Alas, going out to California for Thanksgiving is unthinkable; it’s too short a holiday for an expensive cross-country trip.

Happily, Hepcat’s mother, sister and brother-in-law have come to New
York for Thanksgiving a few times and joined Smartmom’s family for the
feast. Those are the most-special Thanksgivings of all; a merging of
both clans on this uber-family holiday.

As a child of divorce, Smartmom understands how it feels to be far
away from a loved one on a holiday. Since her parents’ divorce in 1976,
she has always spent Thanksgiving with her mother’s side of the family,
which has meant that she was never with her dad on Turkey Day.

Smartmom always missed her dad on Thanksgiving — and this year, the
first Thanksgiving since his death, she thought of him often.

It was hard not to. The meal began with a thoughtful toast from
Smartmom’s first cousin, who mentioned the deaths of Smartmom’s father
and her 86-year-old Uncle Jay, who died on Halloween in 2007. Smartmom
and Diaper Diva were deeply moved by the mention of their dad and tears
quickly filled their eyes.

And then the feast commenced. Smartmom’s blues dissipated as she
enjoyed the food and the company of her relatives. From the first
course to the last — popovers and butternut squash soup followed by
turkey, prime rib, stuffing, mashed potatoes, risotto, Brussels
sprouts, carrots and green beans and ending with pumpkin pie and coffee
— conversation swirled around each of three tables like a
content-filled tornado.

This well-informed and highly articulate family grouping, which
includes lawyers, a real-estate developer, a doctor, a social worker,
academics, the director of a non-profit, an arms negotiator, a set
designer, a smattering of middle, high school and college students, a
computer software designer, a photographer and a writer are capable of
loud and lively table conversation.

Here are just some of the topics touched upon:

• Mumbai (and how awful it was).

• Obama’s foreign policy (and how awful it won’t be).

• The remarkable skinniness of Teen Spirit’s jeans (it is remarkable).

• Post-college aspirations and living in Beijing.

• Turquoise hair (of course, everyone had read Smartmom’s columns in The Brooklyn Paper).

• Election night in Providence, Rhode Island.

• A novel about the Thai/Cambodian border.

• The Turkey Trot in Prospect Park.

• Kansas City jazz.

• Skinny ties.

• Mashed potatoes (and why there is never enough).

• Empty nests (and whether they happen too quickly or too slowly).

• Working as a social worker in the South Bronx.

• The movie, ”Synecdoche, New York.”

• Educational policy in Baltimore.

• Google.

Yes there was food and wine — and plenty of it. But it was the
alternating and non-stop conversations that were the most nourishing
and life affirming aspect of the event.

When Smartmom glanced over at Hepcat, she could tell he was enjoying
himself when he was surrounded by a minyan of her relatives
enthusiastically telling them about one of his recent photographic
projects.

On their drive home in the car, Hepcat told Teen Spirit and the Oh
So Feisty One, who were squeezed into the back seat, that one of the
reasons he married Smartmom was because of her terrific family and
their terrific Thanksgivings.

“The fact that I liked her family really sealed the deal. Of course, I liked her, too,” he mused.

“I should hope so,” Smartmom tartly replied.

Still, it made Smartmom happy that despite the distance and the
echoes of death that Thanksgiving represents, Hepcat feels cherished
and loved by her East Coast family on this difficult day.

They used to be called Accordian Angels and now they’re the Famous Accordion Orchestra. For a moment they were thinking about Squeeze Louise and I liked that but they obviously passed on that idea. ,

Oh well.

But they’re the only accordion quartet in Park Slope and maybe the only one in Brooklyn. I will look to my neighbor Bob Goldberg to correct me on that.

Tomorrow night they’ll be at Barbes

The Where and When

Monday, December 8 at 7 p.m.
Barbes on 9th Street just east of 6th Avenue
Suggested donation is $10

The holding area for Friday night’s Ugly Betty shoot was at Old First Church in the big room next to the sanctuary.

The pastor said that he was going to play a priest in a confession booth on the show and I believed him for a minute. Then caught the joke.

The holding area is where the extras and crew members hang out until they are needed. It was kind of a strange scene. Lots of people sitting at tables, reading, eating, talking on cell phones.

I asked the pastor how much the show paid the church and I was glad to hear that the cash-strapped church received a $1,600 rental fee.

Trailers, trucks, food stations, and equipment took up space on many blocks from Union Street up to Garfield on Seventh Avenues. It’s always fun to see the names on the trailer doors. There was one for Lucy and one for Desi.

We met a couple who were given a location fee by the show to shoot in front of their brownstone on President Street. They were asked to leave their lights on all night.

Hepcat and I walked to the President Street set at 9 pm and saw American Ferrara, the star of Ugly Betty, who is anything but ugly. She looks like a nice person as she was talking to park Slopers and signing autographs for a trio of young girls,who were very excited about the whole thing.

I took exactly one picture with my iPhone camera and Hepcat got a few.

It was a festive Slope scene. We brought OSFO with us at midnight or so because she was dying to see Ugly Betty. At that time, crew members asked us not to walk up President Street toward 8th Avenue.

"American went home after lunch," one of the crew members who was guarding President Street told us. Lunch on a night shoot is sometime around 10 p.m. OSFO was disappointed. We tried getting on President Street from 8th Avenue but were discouraged from walking down the street toward Seventh Avenue. (very nicely) by another crew member.

As consolation we bought OSFO a midnight slice of pizza at Pino’s. That may not have been as exciting as seeing American Ferrara but it was fun in its own way.

A friend called with angst about her teenager. She was told that I’d have a good, non-judgmental take on it. 

I wish I did. Part of me wanted to say: fasten your seat belt and get ready for a long, bumpy ride.

Frankly,I barely knew what to say. No answers. No sure-fire solutions.

I remember how scary it was back when my son was in 9th grade: the fears and anticipatory anxiety were running rampant. 

Turns out we didn’t have that much to worry about at that stage. But the anxiety was there: Is he drinking? Is he doing drugs? Sex? Running around the city. Will he get hurt?

My friend’s son, a 9th grader, seems to have jumped into the swimming pool of adolescence rebellion with great abandon She just hopes he can swim…

It’s scary to watch and they’re hard to control. You have to be a hard ass and accept that your kid isn’t going to like you very much for the next few years.

It’s tough being the parent of a teen. There is some grieving for the loss of the adorable child your teenager used to be. There’s also the awe and astonishment at the wonderful person your child has become. But there’s  also anger and disappointment that the relationship isn’t what it used to be.

My son seems to want to be with his friends constantly and has little interest in being around us. I know that’s completely normal. But it still feels pretty awful.

How did this happen? I never expected my kid to rebel against me. Against me of all people? I’m still a teenager myself. Aren’t I? Can’t he see that?

Nah, to him I’m a 50-year-old mom with conventional ideas and a judgmental, one-track mind about school and college. B-o-r-i-n-g as far as he’s concerned.

So there’s grief and fear and confusion and more fear.

I told my friend to take one day at a time and try to be as attentive as possible. It’s important to know where he is and what he’s doing (ha: it’s 1 am and I have only the vaguest idea where my kid is).

Somewhere in Bushwick at a show…

There’s no shame in calling them every few hours or insisting that they call you when they arrive at a friend’s house or an event. Talking to the parents of their friends is a good way to share information…

Every day that you keep a good eye on them you’re one day closer to the day when they’ll have more sense and maturity.

I’m counting the days.

.