On a personal note, tomorrow my family goes to the cemetery for the unveiling of my uncle’s grave stone.

It is customary for the grave marker to be put in place and
for an unveiling ceremony to be held after the Kaddish period, approximately one year after the death.  

According to custom, there is usually a recitation of psalms and various Jewish prayers. The veil covering the headstone is removed.

Before leaving the grave-site, family and friends will place a
small stone on the marker to indicate that someone has visited the grave. In these ways, we will honor my uncle, Jay Fidler, a great son of Brooklyn, who died on October 31, 2007.

He is remembered by a  large community of friends, neighbors, and colleagues, who
were touched by his robust spirit—at work, at play, at Brooklyn’s
Madison High School, in the Army, at Brown University, in business, at
home in  Westchester and all the other places where he shared his warm
personality and zest for life.

He was a leader in every sense of the word. Jay projected strength
of character, good humor, kindness, smarts, and strong moral and
ethical values in every thing he did.

A born athlete, he was a great storyteller, a respected boss, a
loving father and grandfather, and a wonderful and devoted husband to
my Aunt Rhoda, his wife of more than 60 years.

Born in Brooklyn, Jay was the son of Irving and Beatrice Fidler, of
Lefferts Gardens. He attended Madison High School, where he played
football and distinguished himself in the arts.

Jay married his high school sweetheart, Rhoda Wander, and attended
Brown University, where he was a football hero and later served on the
Board of Trustees.

During the Second World War, Jay served in the US Army. Afterwards,
he started working for Hercules Chemical Corporation at its office and
factory in lower Manhattan in New York City. The company, then a small
family-held corporation started by my grandfather, Samuel Wander, grew
substantially under his leadership.

In the 1950’s Jay designed his family’s home, a Frank Lloyd Wright-style house, built with glass, brick and cement block.

Jay leaves behind three loving and devoted children and his wife
Rhoda, who advocated for his health and well-being during a long
illness with vigilance and dignity until the very end.

He also leaves behind five exceptional grandchildren, a wonderful brother, and many loving relatives and friends.

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