A few minutes before a Jewish funeral begins, there’s an interesting Jewish ritual of mouring: the tearing of one’s garment or a special ribbon. Called Kriah, this custom is many centuries old.
In the room next to the funeral chapel at Frank E Campbell, Rabbi Bachman instructed us in what to do and offered an explanation. By ripping the ribbon, we face grief directly. Sometimes men rip their neck ties. He gave each close family member a black ribbon pin to wear for a month.
Before the rip was made, the rabbi said a prayer, the words of Job, “The Lord has given and the Lord has taken, blessed be the Name of the Lord.”
And then we all pulled at the end of our ribbons.
I was going to wear that ribbon for a month but it fell off my lapel the day after the funeral. Today I went into Fiber Notion on Union Street to buy a piece of black grosgrain ribbon.
The owner didn’t have any grosgrain in stock but she did have some black velvet ribbon. As I began to describe what I was doing with it, she artfully tied the ribbon into a a small bow tie bow with two pieces of ribbon dangling below. She cut it with a scissor as I described the ritual of tearing one’s garment or special ribbon.
While she was making the Kriah, the song Lullaby of Broadway came across the radio. I told the woman that this was one of my father’s favorite songs, especially the version by Chris Connor. I don’t know who was singing it but it did have a nice swing to it.
The owner of the shop found a lovely purple safety pin in her drawer. Voila, I have a lovely velvet ribbon Kriah. It’s quite different from the one I lost after the funeral. But hey. It was made with a lot of heart and some music, too.
Have you ever heard two turtle doves
Bill and coo when they love
That’s the kind of magic
Music we make with our lips
When we kiss
And there’s a weepy ol’ willow
He really knows how to cry
That’s how i cry in my pillow
If you should tell me
Farewell and goodbye
Lullaby of Birdland whisper low
kiss me sweet & we’ll go
Fliyin’ high in Birdland
High in the sky up above
All because we’re in love
Really lovely post. I hope you continue to find some comfort in remembering Monte through your writing. It honors him so well.
I have been meaning to leave a comment telling you I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I lost my father almost 2 years ago, so I can imagine how you feel. I know he must be in your thoughts a lot. I had always wished that I could have told more people about what my father had been like as a person, but people were mostly interested in how he died, and if it had been a long illness – not what he was like when alive.
You may have done this and I missed it, but you might want to tell us something about your dad. I would love to hear, and I remember how it would have helped me to talk about who my dad was.
Anyway, so sorry for your loss.