Friends called all day yesterday. One helpfully stopped by my apartment to pick up an envelope that needed to be driven over to my stepmother’s apartment in Brooklyn Heights.

Another friend called and said she’d made an appointment for the three of us (my sister, too) to have mani/pedi’s at Dashing Diva in preparation for the funeral.

Other friends came down from Kingston to attend the funeral and presented me with a bouquet of  flowers—eucalyptus leaves, green flowers and a very delicate flower I can’t name. We ate dinner with them at Rachel’s.

Still another friend sent a bouquet of roses with a very sweet note.

I feel overwhelmed at the thought of seeing a lot of people today.  feel so inside myself and I don’t know if I will be able to connect with anyone. I’m nervous about my eulogy and keep thinking of all the things I didn’t say in it.

At this most introverted and painful moment, one is required to be social and outgoing. But it’s a distraction, too. And I can’t think of anything else I’d rather be doing. Overall, I’m just nervous about the day ahead.

But I am looking forward to seeing my friends.