Little Fugitive in France is the blog of American rocker, Amy Rigby, who is living in a small village in France. In this post, The Ground and the Fury, she muses about her first summer without her college-age daughter.
So why do I feel so sad sometimes? Shouldn’t I just be happy and enjoy myself?
And
strangely, sometimes I feel so angry. Where did the time go? Why didn’t
I cherish every single second? Why was I often selfish and distracted
and wanting to be somewhere else?On top of all that, something
about watching your kid grow up and go off feels like the end of your
own youth. You had your chance to live that perfect summer again, and
it wasn’t perfect, but you did the best you could. And now the
do-over’s over.This morning our friend Nick loaned us his
strimmer. The garden has gotten way too out of control. I’ve heard that
gardening, in addition to nurturing growing things, can often be more
about knocking things down.And this strimmer – it roars and
whirls and sends leaves and earth flying. It feels so good to just
destroy every single overgrown plant in my path. And the best part – no
one can hear me scream.
Dear Amy – The chance to live that perfect summer lies in front of you, not behind you. Amen to the end of your youth. Why would you ever want a do-over when emancipated adulthood can be a whole new life. The entire point of youth is to grow up and learn enough to become ready to live fully as an adult. As John Bradshaw may or may not have once said – “Childhood was a game… and you lost.” The good news is, adulthood is better than a second chance at that game – it’s a new first chance at a new and better game, and you are armed with all of the wisdom that you’ve acquired to make it great. Go for it! Let go!! Live it up!!!