Monthly Archives: November 2006
POEM FOR THANKSGIVING
I was in a waiting area today when a woman, about to go outside, asked if it was raining. As she put on her coat, her scarf, and her leather gloves to leave the building, this is what she had to say. I put it into poetic form.
Today it was such
a dreary day
cold, wet
no sun
not even a sparkle
Heavy rain on Thanksgiving
Those balloons
will go flying about
unmoored
Bumping into things
Torrential rains, winds
that’s what they’re saying
But there’s something to be said for
a cold, dark Thanksgiving
like an old friend
Hello, there you are
NO WORDS_DAILY PIX BY HUGH CRAWFORD
THANKSGIVING PARADE
The Thanksgiving Parade ain’t what it used to be. But then, what is? We’re not going. Again. I think we’ll go skating instead. Here’s a post from last year about Thanksgivings past.
This year they’re adding Dora the
Explorere and Scooby Doo. Artist Tom Otterness has created a
33-foot-tall Humpty Dumpty, frowning mid-"great fall." As usual, the
parade route begins at 77th Street and Central Park West, proceeds to
Columbus Circle, and turns onto Broadway. It turns west on 34th Street
(just past Macy’s Herald Square) and finishes at Seventh Avenue.Back when we aspired be the ultimate New York parents, the parade
was a must-do activity. When my son was 3, we all bundled up and stood
under a Broadway marquis on a freezing cold day. Friends brought a
thermos of hot chocolate and it felt like the most essential New York
childhood experience of all.For a few years, my cousin rented a hotel room on the 5th floor of
the Central Park’s Mayflower Hotel, which provided a perfect, indoor
spot for viewing the balloons. To watch the parade from indoors is one
of the great luxuries of New York City life. A real perk. One windy
year, we watched a ballon deflate before our eyes after it rammed into
a lamp post.When Diaper Diva lived across the street from the Museum of Natural
History, she invited Teen Spirit and OSFO, who was only 2 at the time, to
sleep over so they could watch the blowing up of the balloons the night
before the parade, one of those great New York traditions. So great,
that it’s almost as popular as the parade itself and unbearably
crowded.My childhood memories of the parade are vivid. When I was a kid, I
remember being bundled in a snowsuit on freezing cold Thanksgiving
mornings and standing out on Central Park West too short to see the
parade.In fourth grade, a classmate invited a group of girls over to her
77th Street duplex for a sleepover. Her parents took us out in the
middle of the night to watch the balloons – Underdog and Mickey Mouse
being blown up on 77th Street. This was before it was a popular
activity. back then, it was strictly for residents of 77th Street and
81st Street. How special we felt walking outside in our nightgowns and
overcoats beneath a crystal clear night sky.The next morning we were out early watching the parade in full
swing. The foot of one of the balloons nearly touched my friend’s
little brother’s head as he sat on his father’s shoulders.I asked my sister if she has plans to take her 15 month old daughter
into Manhattan for her first parade. "Not this year," she said. They’ll
probably take her next year when Ducky is two. She can sit on her
daddy’s shoulders and watch the enormous balloons up above.It’s a New York tradition she won’t want to miss.
–Posted in 2005
MUNICIPAL ARTS SOCIETY LAWSUIT AGAINST IKEA
The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers is being sued for allowing furniture
giant Ikea to build a parking lot over a Civil-War-era dry dock.The Municipal Art Society lawsuit calls for a review of the effects
the Ikea project will have on all historic properties in Red Hook,
Brooklyn.The Society says the Corps’ alleged failure to properly review the
site will forever tarnish the neighborhood’s historic character. But an
Ikea spokesman says the project has undergone extensive review and this
lawsuit is just an attempt to delay redevelopment.The project is part of a $100-million plan to restore the Brooklyn waterfront that will be paid for by Ikea.
MRS. KRAVITZ IS NOT DOING THANKSGIVING
Mrs. Kravitz IS NOT doing Thanksgiving this year. She’s been crazy busy with her new job, the kids, and everything else. Over the summer she donated a kidney. No kidding. To Mr. K. So she really needs a break. I think she should spend the day sketching, which is what she truly loves to do. For the feast, they should go to a restaurant. Any suggestions? "We’ll have dessert at home," she said. Last year she had 14 people over and she wore a green wool hat while she was cooking. Find out why.
Thanksgiving eve on Third Street. I visited with Mrs. Kravitz on the first floor who is having 14 people over for the feast.
I watched her whip up a pumpkin pie, a pecan pie, and cranberry
sauce. while we drank wine and covered a free-associative spectrum of
topics.OSFO and Mrs. Kravitz’s two kids swirled around noisily.
Mrs. Kravitz was wearing a woolen cap because she lives in fear that someone will find a hair in her cooking.
She’s serious.
She told me that, as the day progressed, her
husband kept calling with word of more guests. What started as a small
family Thanksgiving had evolved into crowd scene. Too many for her
table. Worried that her 13-pound Food Coop turkey might not be enough.
she had to add pork loin, ribs, and turkey wings to the menu.Earlier, she phoned one of the guests, a good friend, and took her
up on her offer to bring gnocchi and polenta with sage and butter
sauce. "We need more food," she told her.I think she’ll have enough food.
Sitting and chatting in her apartment she seemed anything but
worried about Thursday’s feast. The meal was coming together slowly
dish by dish.The wine was helping.
She asked if she can borrow chairs. "Of course," I said. We’re
having Thanksgiving in a West Village restarant with 21 family members
on my mother’s side.We won’t need the chairs.
ROBERT ALTMAN DIES
Robert Altman, one of the great greats of American filmaking died yesterday at the age of 81. Look at the list of his movies (in no particular order): Nashville, Mash, McCabe and Mrs. Miller, the Long Goodbye, Thieves Like Us, Popeye, Three Women, and more recently Shortcuts, Gosford Park, and A Prarie Home Companion, a film in which death was a major character played by the great, Kevin Kline.
"A risk-taker with a tendency
toward mischief, Mr. Altman is perhaps best remembered for a run of
masterly films — six in five years — that propelled him to the
forefront of American directors and culminated in 1975 with what many
regard as his greatest film, “Nashville,” a complex, character-filled drama told against the backdrop of a presidential primary," writes Rick Lyman in theNew York Times.
Genre-bending, free-wheeling and surprising, Altman employed a recurring ensemble of unpredictable actors in movie after movie. Improvisation was key and sound was his forte: "Mr. Altman was
celebrated for his ground-breaking use of multilayer soundtracks. An
Altman film might offer a babble of voices competing for attention in
crowded, smoky scenes. It was a kind of improvisation that offered a
fresh verisimilitude to tired, stagey Hollywood genres," write TK in the Times.
Last summer at Brooklyn Film Works, an outdoor film festival in JJ Byrne Park, we showed, "The Long Good Bye," a kooky take on the Phillip Marlowe book by Raymond Chandler. It may not have been the best choice for an outdoor film festival, but many in the audience declared it among their favorite movies for Elliot Gould’s performance and a cast of incredible actors, including Henry Gibson, Nina Von Pallant, Sterling Hayden, Arnold Schwarzenegger in a small part and others.
Now I’m glad we paid tribute to one of the greats while he was still alive. It isn’t always popular to like Robert Altman’s work but it can’t be denied that he was a creative genuis who left his mark on cinema in a characteristically eccentric way.
NO WORDS_DAILY PIX BY HUGH CRAWFORD
OTBKB HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: SHOULD I DO IT AGAIN?
I am trying to decide if I shoud do the gift guide again. Last year, I went to nearly every store on 7th and 5th Avenues
from Flatbush to 16th Street that I thought might have interesting
gifts. I selected at least one gift item per store that caught my eye.
Sometimes I mentioned more. It was an interesting exercise: trying to
zone in on the best and most unique gifts in every shop. In a few rare
cases, it was difficult to find even one thing. Usually it was
incredibly easy because there was so much good stuff to choose from. Question: Should I bother to do this again?
THE PARK SLOPE 100: SEND YOUR CANDIDATES
Atlantic Monthly is running a list of the 100 most influential Americans. Scanning it quickly, I was PISSED OFF to see only 10 women mentioned.
But the list did get me to thinking about the influential people in our midst. What defines an influential person?
So I’ve decided to create a year end list of the PARK SLOPE 100.
THE PARK SLOPE 100 will be a list of 100 interesting, creative, and dynamic people who are leaders in arts, politics, the environment, healing arts, medicine, education, commerce and other fields in the Greater Park Slope community.
WHO DO YOU THINK are the most influential people in the Greater Park Slope area? I have some ideas but I want a fairly broad spectrum of people in a wide range of fields. They don’t have to live in Greater Park Slope, but they need to have an impact here.
PLEASE SEND NAMES (and short bios) to louise_crawford@yahoo.com. This list will be published on OTBKB in December.
Here’s what New York Magazine on-line had to say about OTBKB’s List: The Atlantic listed the 100 most influential Americans, and not one of them represented the Greater Park Slope Community. Outrageous. [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn]
BACH REDISCOVERED BY KRAZY KAT
A post-reunion dinner party with high school friends last night turned out to be quite the fun gathering. Spouses were invited and the conversation moved easily beyond the "What ever happened to…?" level to the more nclusive "So what do you do?"
I’ve never run anything about John Musto, the highly esteemed classical composer, born and bred in Brooklyn. He’s the husband of my high school best friend. So here goes. His album, which garnered terrific reviews, is available on Amazon (see below).
His grandly jazzy Passacaglia for large orchestra (2003) sounds like Bach rediscovered by Krazy Kat. His Five Piano Rags (1995) cast the smoky nonchalance of Scott Joplin in a Rachmaninoff glow. His opera Volpone, which had an acclaimed premiere at the Wolf Trap Festival last March, employs everything from Broadway to bel canto in a ferociously clever musical adaptation of Ben Jonson’s play. Like Bernstein, Mr. Musto is not afraid to entertain." — Charles Michener, The New York Observer
"Musto spins flaxen pop into golden art, with an intuitive sense of how to make each instrument fill the others’ gaps. The energetic coda at the end of the first movement prompted a burst of audience applause."
— Ken Smith, New York Newsday"Mr. Musto’s pianism was exquisite and exploratory.”
— Paul Griffiths, The New York Times"If there is a finer composer of song with piano alive and working in the world today, I would very much like to know his or her name." — Graham Johnson
Koch International ClassicsOrder from Amazon
Premiere Recordings
Clarinet Sextet for clarinet, piano and string quartet
Piano Trio for piano, violin and cello
Divertimento for flute, clarinet, viola, cello, piano, and percussion
Music From Copland House
Derek Bermel, clarinet
Michael Boriskin, piano
Paul Lustig Dunkel, flute
Nicholas Kitchen, violin
Wilhelmina Smith, cello
Leslie Tomkins, viola
Jim Baker, percussion
GODS LOVE WE DELIVER NEEDS DELIVERERS
This is a great opportunity for parents who want to teach their
children about service to the community. A wonderful family activity:
HOLIDAY OPPORTUNITIES: God’s Love We Deliver needs people to deliver meals on Thanksgiving and Christmas morning. We need people with automobiles to deliver these meals in all five boroughs of Manhattan and Hudson County New Jersey. We also have a small number of meals that need to be delivered on foot (in Manhattan only).
If your interested in helping for the holidays call: 212-294-8169 and leave a message. We’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
God’s Love We Deliver is a New York City-based, not-for-profit, non-sectarian organization and the metropolitan area’s leading provider of life-sustaining nutritional support services for people living with HIV/AIDS, cancer and other serious illnesses.
PARK SLOPE CHRISTIAN HELP
A lot of people in and around Park Slope volunteer, give money, or clothing to CHIPs on Fourth Avenue. While they may or may not need help on Thanksgiving or Christmas, they need volunteers all year round for their soup kitchen, the Frances; Residence for Homeless Mothers and their Children. Volunteers perform the various tasks needed to keep the soup kitchen and residence running smoothly: cooking, cleaning, pickups, painting, laundry, fundraisiing and supervising the residence 24 hours a day. For more information go to: chipsonline.ort
Founded in 1972, CHIPS (a nonprofit charitable organization) has been dedicated to helping the poor, the needy, and the homeless as well as those in emergency situations. Also known as Park Slope Christian Help, CHIPS serves more than 70,000 meals annually and gives temporary shelter to more than 2,000 people each year. Located in Park Slope, Brooklyn, CHIPS is eternally grateful to the many individuals, churches, businesses, merchants, foundations and organizations, both local and nationwide who have helped make CHIPS what it is today.
BROOKLYN FREE SCHOOL IN THE TIMES, AGAIN
Brooklyn Record pointed me toward today’s piece in the New York Times about the Brooklyn Free School, located in two floors of a Free Methodist
church at 120 16th Street. We know a bunch of kids there who seem to be thriving.
"At this school, students don’t get grades, don’t have
homework, don’t take tests, and don’t even have to go to class — unless
they want to… On any given day, a student might be playing chess,
reading a book, practicing yoga or helping mummify a chicken."
Students Rule at This New York School [NY Times]
Brooklyn Free School [Homepage]
NO WORDS_DAILY PIX BY HUGH CRAWFORD
TEEN SPIRIT IN THE TIMES
So Teen Spirit found out from a friend last night that he and his fellow band members are pictured in the Style section.
Silly me. I read the piece on-line and saw a pix of Care Bears on Fire and Tiny Masters of Today. A couple of kids I know were in the background. But no Teen Spirit.
Well, it was a picture taken outside of Liberty Heights Tap Room. It’s a little hard to tell that it’s Teen Spirit and his two good buddies.
TS sent me out last night late to pick up the Sunday Times. Got it at the Apple Market on Garfield. We’re talking 11:30 p.m.
I was surprised we didn’t hear from everyone we know. Hey, your kid is in the New York Times.
But I guess people didn’t look that closely at the pix.
Oh well. Big excitement. Big fun. Get out the scrap book.
NO WORDS_DAILY PIX BY HUGH CRAWFORD
SAVE THE SNOWFLAKES AND THE PARK SLOPE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
I got this comment today from OTBKB reader, Fonda Sera, owner of Zuzu’s Petals about the Seventh Avenue snowflakes and the need to regenerate the Park Slope Chamber of Commerce.
The Seventh Avenue snowflakes are lit for the holiday season
and maybe for the last time. With Soundtrack and thom spennotta out (his store moved off the Avenue), the last survivor of the Park Slope Chamber of Commerce is gone.Unless
a new group of merchants gather the spirit and energy to advocate for Seventh Avenue, next holiday season the street will be dark.the Chamber was also responsible for the Community Council funding double
trash pick ups six days a week along the Avenue. who will make sure that
doesn’t disappear?It breaks my heart to see how spiraling commercial rent has changed the face and altered the spirit of seventh avenue.
The last time this happened Marty Markowitz called a meeting of
merchants to try and generate new interest in the chamber. It worked.I think it’s time someone gave Marty a call.
Fonda
TIMES’ STYLE SECTION ON PARK SLOPE TEEN ROCK SCENE
I knew this New York Times’ piece in the Style section was coming. And here it is for all to read (if you missed it during the week. I did. DUH. Thankfully, Teen Spirit told me about it Saturday evening).
I noticed the Times’ photographer at last week’s Rockin’ Teens Showcase at Liberty Heights Tap Room. Steve Depulla, owner of the place, mentioned that the Times’ had interviewed him earlier in the week. The hype for Care Bears and Fiasco is pretty intense — DO THESE KIDS HAVE PUBLICISTS OR JUST FAMOUS PARENTS?
The newly named "Kid-core" scene is no longer just cute — it’s a real scene with managers and coaches and publicists and everything. The fact that it’s one more thing to analyze about crazy New York City parents just adds to its news worthiness for the Times and New York Magazine. Breast feeding, school frenzy, managing your kid’s rock band…
The Times’ piece was heavy on the ‘children of celebrity angle.’ It turns out that the band from Sag Harbor that showed up at Liberty Heights a few months back, Too Busy Being Bored, was fronted by Forrest Fire Gray, 14, whose dad was Spalding Gray. The Times’ also name-drops that Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbin’s son is in another Brooklyn teen band, The Tangents. The Times’ is definitely going for the celeb angle big time.
FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES: THE children whispering and fidgeting in front of the stage at Union
Hall in Park Slope, Brooklyn, looked like any kids awaiting, say, a
storyteller. Then Zora Sicher and Hugo Orozco, the two 11-year-olds who
make up the band Magnolia, climbed onstage and broke into a
hard-driving original song called “Volume.” It was clear this was not
quiet time.“Wooooo!” a dreadlocked
woman shouted from the back of the room, where a crowd of adults, many
in vintage concert T-shirts and cardigans, looking like kids
themselves, cheered and sipped bloody marys.A clump of
teenagers looked on appreciatively during the set, part of a showcase
of all-kid bands on a Saturday afternoon this month at the CMJ Music
Marathon in New York. When the Magnolia duo paused to adjust their
instruments — Zora on guitar, Hugo on drums — a babe in arms wailed.
“Are you crying because they stopped, honey?” Mom cooed.For
this set of performers and audience members, indie rock is as familiar
as a lullaby. “We like punk, classic rock, metal, riot grrrl,” said
Hugo, an elfin-face sixth grader from Brooklyn, who was given her first
drum set at 7.Magnolia, like other bands on the Union Hall
bill — Care Bears on Fire, Tiny Masters of Today, Fiasco, Hysterics —
is more than a novelty act. It is developing a following on New York’s
burgeoning under-age music circuit, where bands too young for driving
licenses have CDs, Web sites and managers.“Oh my god, there’s
like a huge, huge kid-rock scene here,” said Jack McFadden, known as
Skippy, who booked the show at Union Hall. “It’s really very indicative
of Park Slope, since so many of the parents who live around here are
hip and have these hip little kids that they dress in, like, CBGBs
T-shirts.”
Continue reading TIMES’ STYLE SECTION ON PARK SLOPE TEEN ROCK SCENE
WATER TAXIS TO DUMBO: STARTS NOV. 27th
Many of you make it so easy for me to spread great Brooklyn News. This morning this news arrived about water taxi service to DUMBO.
Dear Louise, Great news! New York Water Taxi will expand their daily commuter service to include a stop in DUMBO beginning Monday, November 27th. The better news is that they are offering a special $2.00 fare through the spring. And, to give folks a “taste” of commuting in comfort and style, New York Water Taxi will also be offering the “First Ride on Us” – 2 FREE one way tickets anywhere along the East River route from 11/27-12/1.
Release cut & pasted below, and attached. I’m happy to send over route maps, photos of the Water Taxi – whatever you may need.
Please let me know if you’re interested in running something on your blog after the 20th when commuters can get their free tickets online at www.nywatertaxi.com. (I’m sending the info out early as a courtesy because of next week’s holiday) .
PROSPECT PARK IN LIGHTS
Gowanus Lounge sends words that for the first time ever there will be a lighting installation in Prospect Park for the holidays. On Monday November 27th at 6 p.m, there will be a launch ceremony. Sounds like FUN.
"Prospect Park in Lights," a lighting installation will feature more than 600,000 lights.
The illuminations will be featured at four of the Park’s entrances,
viewable every evening from November 27 through January 7, 2007. The
display is being sponsored by the Daily News.
The lights will officially be turned on at a launch ceremony on Monday,
November 27 beginning at 6:00 p.m. at Grand Army Plaza.The
illuminated displays, which were created by noted Brooklyn-based
lighting designer Jim Conti, will decorate the major gateways to the
Park: Grand Army Plaza, including the historic Soldier’s and Sailor’s Memorial Arch and the Bailey Fountain; Bartel-Pritchard Circle; Park Circle; and the Parkside and Ocean Avenue entrance.
(The illustration here, which was provided by the Prospect Park
Alliance, shows the Bailey Fountain, which has been beautifully
restored although it is hard to reach because of Grand Army Plaza
traffic.)
DELICES DE PARIS: ON SEVENTH AVENUE NEAR 9THE STREET
So Smartmom and Hepcat with OSFO stopped into that tiny new cafe on Seventh Avenue – the space where Uncle Lou’s ices used to be. We ordered a couple of lattes and asked the Barista who owned the place.
"The owner’s right there," he said. And it was the woman who owns the French bakery on Ninth Street, Delices de Paris. That’s a wonderful place — they do everything with great care over there — French pastries, coffee, pies, cakes.
"You made it to Seventh Avenue," Smartmom said. The owner started laughing. "Yes we finally made it to Seventh Avenue even though the place is very, very small." she said.
A very spirited woman she. Smartmom has had many conversations with her over the years. She is spunky, hard working and funny.
She cannot get over the location. Early in the morning the place is already hopping. "No sign, no advertising, the place was crowded from the beginning." she said. Being right there by the F Train should be a real boon. She’s got location alright. In spades.
We knew we were in for excellent latte. Hepcat got a coconut macaroon ($1.00) and Smartmom got a delicious french macaroon (72 cents).
We wished them well and enjoyed our lattes and cookies as we walked down Seventh Avenue.
NO WORDS_DAILY PIX BY HUGH CRAWFORD
NEW BLOG ON THE BLOCK: SPECIAL FOCUS BLOG
A Brooklyn novelist and mother is finally bringing a long-dreamed-of project to light Please check out her new blog, SPECIAL FOCUS (www.specialfocusblog.blogspot.com).
ABOUT SPECIAL FOCUS:
Twelve-year-old "Sasha" is a gifted reader, writer and artist. She’s
humorous, messy, and did I mention GORGEOUS? She’s also diagnosed with
Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD."Mo" is a darn cuddly and kibbitzy seven-year-old, always
ready with a smile or, more likely, a joke and a "Yo dude, how’s it
goin’?!" Mo has central auditory processing difficulties and, like his
sister, distraction & focus issues and, while I’m confessing, has
difficulty sitting down for more than five seconds.Sasha and Mo are keeping their parents, "Ozzie" and "Not
Harriet" mighty sleep-deprived. But in that state, I tend to get
philosophical about the intricacies of this, our Special Life.
Here’s how the blogger describes her site:
"The site features my personal, philosophical essays on being a special needs parent. You’ll also find these special sections:
* SPECIAL SMARTS – Clever or amusing things my kids say and do.
* SPECIAL BOOKS – Book lists on parenting, psychology, special
needs, Asperger’s Syndrome, and a special section for kids’ books.
Book reviews too!
DIVORCE, THANKSGIVING STYLE
Here’s this week’s Smartmom from the Brooklyn Papers:
Thanksgiving: that most American of holidays. Pumpkin pie. Football. Divorce.
For much of Smartmom’s childhood, Thanksgiving meant standing in front of the Museum of Natural History waiting for Underdog and Mighty Mouse to fly over.
The Macy’s parade would be followed by an enthusiastic gathering of her extended family in the large, light-filled dining room of their Riverside Drive apartment for a sumptuous meal, spirited discussion, debate and her Great Aunt Beatrice’s delicious mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows.
Without fail, Nanny, Smartmom’s maternal grandmother, would say, “Good eatin,’” plus a smattering of Yiddish words as a way to bless the abundant feast that was topped off by too many slices of pie from Greenberg’s Bakery on Madison Avenue.
But on the night before Thanksgiving the year she was 17, Smartmom learned that her parents were separating. On Turkey Day, her father was gone and her mother didn’t leave her bedroom.
It was sudden, it was quick. Her parent’s marriage was over and family life as she knew it was kaput.
Thanksgiving da, Smartmom’s aunt picked up Smartmom and her sister.
“This is awful,” she said as she took Smartmom and Diaper Diva to her home in Westchester where Smartmom’s maternal relatives were gathered.
As she remembers it, nobody said a thing. It was the giant elephant; the great unmentionable.
Sitting at the huge Danish Modern dining table, Smartmom and Diaper Diva felt like orphans as they worried about their mother and wondered where their father had gone. The day went by in a blur of emotions. By the time the football games were playing on the black-and-white television, they already felt stigmatized by this unfortunate schism in their domestic lives.
Back home, the apartment felt empty and sad. Her mother was asleep and Smartmom sat in the living room and listened to the Laura Nyro album, “Gonna Take a Miracle,” feeling too confused to cry and too anxious to sleep.
Less than a year later, Smartmom left for college and an independent life of her own. She can barely remember the next Thanksgiving or the ones after that. Like most kids of divorce, she made a valiant effort to adjust to the new normal: life without an intact family.
Over time, Smartmom and Diaper Diva got used to their holidays being divvied up like portions of cake. Her mother always got Thanksgiving. Her father got Christmas. Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Passover were up for grabs.
Nothing was written down or settled in a legal way; her parents weren’t legally divorced for years to come. So Smartmom and her sister were basically winging it every holiday.
It often came down to which parent needed them more. In so many ways, divorce forces the child to grow up fast and interpret the needs of their parents.
This can make a "child" feel responsible for a parent’s happiness or unhappiness in ways that are definitely not all that healthy for children of any age.
Even in this enlightened day and age, when divorce is understood as the monster it is, divorced parents continue to try to split their children in two.
Nowadays, most of the divorced parents Smartmom knows have it in writing which parent their children will be with on each holiday until the child is 18.
Typically, the big-ticket holidays are divided up like a bucket of coins. Luckily there are eight days of Hannukah.
One thing’s for sure: Mom always gets Mother’s Day. Dad has Father’s Day.
Sometimes the children become a rope in the battle between the parents. Some parents end up in court fighting over scheduling matters.
Smartmom knows some divorced parents who do unusual things to keep their offspring’s needs front and center.
One kid she knows spends Christmas morning with both parents and their significant others. Mom, Dad, stepmom and stepdad open presents together and even share some food.
But this kind of arrangement is very rare. Not every divorced couple is quite that civilized—or flexible.
Civilized or not, the more thought the parents give to the emotional needs of their children the better off those kids will be. While many parents are well meaning, the contentiousness sometimes clouds their ability to do what is right.
Kids are resilient, and Smartmom is as resilient as they come. But sometimes this so-called resiliency can cover up the pain that is really going on inside.
Smartmom isn’t sure any child of divorce ever adjusts to the split. Sure, they go along with it because they have to. But in the end, it is the children more than the parents who suffer because of it.
Smartmom’s parents’ divorce is the great before/after event in her life. It has affected her relationships, her sense of self, and her ability to love.
And the fact that the split occurred on Thanksgiving means her great American holiday is still colored by that life-changing event.
It still hurts that Smartmom never gets to see her father carve the turkey or make the first Thanksgiving toast.
But she’s used to it. By now, she has spent many more Thanksgivings without her dad than with him.
Still, that doesn’t mean that she’s not thinking about him. It’s a split-screen life for kids of divorce. You go through the holiday with one parent while you imagine what the other parent is up to. You worry about them, think of them, hope they’re doing well.
Children of divorce learn to be in two places at once: Where they are and where the other parent is. In this way, they keep the family together. If only in the mind.
MENUTOPIA: A COOL IDEA
Got this email in the old InBox the other day. Very interesting! Check it out. I signed up and will be using it frequently for my own dining needs as well as for the blog. It is a FANTASTIC resource as few restaurants in the nabe have websites. And what do you do when you’ve thrown out all the menus from Lemmongrass. Halleluah.
Hey Louise,
I found your blog and thought you would really love this new site that I just launched in Brooklyn: www.
menutopia.com.We have menus and other information for a lot of Brooklyn (and a few other cities, including Manhattan) restaurants
already and we’re just getting started. We’re working on adding
restaurants around the clock so that we can be as comprehensive as
possible, but that’s only HALF of Menutopia.The other half (the fun part) is customizing and personalizing the
site, really making it YOUR Menutopia. It’s really easy to rate and
review restaurants, save favorites, create lists, add friends, and a
bunch of other stuff.So, check it out! If you like
it, please tell your friends or even blog about it. You can link
directly to our menus, which is great when you’re writing about a
restaurant and you want your readers to check out the menu.Dan
MenutopiaPS
We’ll also be providing a link back to all bloggers who mention Menutopia.
LIFE WITH A PICTURE TAKER
Life with a photographer isn’t always easy. Take walking down the street for instance. Last night Smartmom and Hepcat were walking down 14th Street after seeing "The Departed" at the Pavillion. They were having a great conversation about all the incredible performances in that amazing film when HC stopped dead in his tracks. "Stop walking," he said. "I’m taking a picture." He pointed off in the distance. Smartmom wasn’t exactly sure what he was seeing. The night sky looked gorgeous, there was the blur of traffic lights, restaurant neon.
Then Smartmom moved slightly. "Just as I get the picture set up you ruin it," he said. Smartmom didn’t no what she did wrong. "But you’re not taking a picture of me are you?"
He wasn’t. He mumbled something and she got annoyed and walked oh so dramatically out of the picture area all the way around the corner thinking to herself: See, I can’t ruin your picture now…
They walked down Seventh Avenue on separate sides of the block. "Why are you walking over there?" Hepcat called across the street. "So I won’t RUIN your picture," Smartmom said spitefully
Hepcat crossed over. "Hey, you want to see tomorrow’s No Words_Daily Pix. And there in his "viewfinder" was the most gorgeous night shot of 14th Street.
Okay, so Hepcat knows a great picture when he sees it. But that doesn’t mean the world has to stop just because Hepcat is taking a shot.
Or does it?
TONIGHT: LAST CHANCE TO SEE THE LIMBO ROOM FOR A WHILE
Got this email from a friend about tonight’s screening at the Avignon Film Festival of a film by Park Slope novelist and screenwriter, Jill Eisenstadt. I will make every effort to be there. Please join me. Here’s the email from my friend:
"Sorry to do a mass mailing but I’m helping to drum up an audience for my friend Jill’s film. Jill is a novelist and her sister Debra is a filmmaker. Together they wrote and produced this film and her sister directed it. Jill had a really fun piece in the Sunday Times City section a month about tips for making an independent film in New York City.
They especially need people to come to the Avignon/New York Film Festival Screening at Hunter College on November 16 and 18 since they will be screening in a 600 seat auditorium.
My husband and I have both seen the film and think it’s great otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this. The film is about actors who are understudying an Off-Broadway play (hence the title) and events that occur during the run of the show. It’s very well acted and very funny. Production value is excellent. So try to make it to a screening and bring some friends."
"THE LIMBO ROOM"
AVIGNON/NEW YORK FILM FESTIVAL
AT HUNTER COLLEGE
68ths st. & Lexington ave.
Saturday, November 18th @ 7pm – KAYE PLAYHOUSE
www.avignonfilmfest.com
written by jill eisenstadt & debra eisenstadt, directed by debra eisenstadt, produced by alessandra gatien, debra eisenstadt, dir. of photography- jay silver editing- debra eisenstadt, jen lilly with- andrea powell, melissa leo, jonathan marc sherman, zack griffiths, roger raines, richard vetere, cathy curtin, peter dinklage, & many more….
TICKETS CAN BE BOUGHT IN ADVANCE AT THE ABOVE WEB SITES
for info. and reviews about the limbo room
go to www.withoutabox.com then go to THE LIMBO ROOM’s audience page
TWO BUILD A BEAR PARTIES IN ONE WEEK FOR OSFO
OSFO went to two Build-a-Bear parties this week. TWO.
Strange coincidence. Two of her friends have birthdays close together and they both wanted BAB parties.
OSFO was thrilled. Utterly. So were all the girls. The only one who didn’t look super excited was the mom charged with bringing six nine-year-olds to BAB on the subway.
But everything worked out. The girls picked out their bears and ate dinner at the Eat with your Bear Hands Cafe. Apparently, OSFO got her BAB monkey stuffed with 21 hearts. She named him Cubby and dressed and dressed him in red plaid pajama outfit with black socks.
The girls looked tired and excited when they got back from Wednesday’s party.
On Friday after school, it was time for BAB party number 2. OSFO still didn’t know what kind of BAB she wants. A giraffe. Another monkey. A white fluffy bear. A dog. How about a …
For those who don’t know: BAB is on Fifth Avenue on 46th Street. An attraction for kids, teens, and tourists, you pick out the shell of the stuffed animal you want and watch it get filled with stuffing, a heart, even a voice. You even type out a birth certificate for the little BAB.
Smartmom loves to see OSFO happy and excited. So if this makes her happy and excited — Smartmom is happy, too.
DOING BATTLE WITH A FLY
Smartmom has been doing battle with a lingering summer fly in her office. It must be the unseasonably warm, freaky, weather.
This annoying fly entered her office through an open window the other day. Now it won’t leave. It’s a fast little bugger flying around the room. It stays out of Smartmom’s way for a while. But then it swoops down to get in Smartmom’s face.
That’s when Smartmom flies into action. She tries to swat the thing with her hand. She tries to catch it with her Starbuck’s coffee cup. She chases after it on her rolling office chair.
She really needs a fly swatter.
Damn. It’s war between Smartmom and that fly. By the end of Friday Smartmom had really had it with that fly.
Shoo. Shoo. Fly away, fly. You’re getting on Smartmom’s nerves.