Here’s this week’s Smartmom. Check out this week’s Brooklyn Papers.

You’ve heard of road rage. Now there’s “Mommy Rage” and there’s no shortage of it in Park Slope.

Last week there was the mom who threw a can of beans at the back
window of a car because the driver cut her off when she was pushing her
toddler across the street.

Such an incident would have gone unnoticed in most neighborhoods —
or made it into the Police Blotter — but in Park Slope, where every
casual eye is actually a microscope on the minutia of everyday life,
the bean-can toss was quickly posted all over the Park Slope Parents
Web site:

“I saw one woman struggling across the street with multiple bags of
groceries hanging off her kid’s stroller; when she got cut off, TWICE,
she reached into her grocery bags and hauled out a can of beans, which
she threw at the rear window of the second car, cracking it clear
across.”

And then, the kicker: “Several witnesses clapped and cheered,” the posting ended.

Smartmom was disgusted. Sure city traffic can be a pain in the neck.
But come on. That guy didn’t deserve to have a can of beans thrown at
his car. And the fact that bystanders clapped and cheered just proves
that Park Slope is one crazy daisy place.

Another kind of “Mommy Rage” was also exhibited this week by Amy
Sohn, the former sex columnist for New York magazine, who has switched
from writing about on-line porn, girl crushes, and fake orgasms to
stories about life with a toddler in our little borough of heaven.

And what a surprise: The shrunken, Grinch-like heart that formed the
core of Sohn’s life as a single woman has not grown even one size as
she has morphed into motherhood.

Sure, most mothers have better things to do than watch “Boobas”
videos with their kids or read “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt” for the
umpteenth time.

Like Sohn, yes, Smartmom found it exceedingly boring to be home with
the 1-year-old Oh So Feisty One. Whenever she tried to use her
computer, OSFO turned it off (clever girl, that OSFO).

When she tried to read “Everything is Illuminated” or another work of
literary fiction alone in her bedroom, tiny OSFO would crawl in and
insist on “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom” (which is good, but not Foer-esque).

OSFO wouldn’t even let Smartmom go to the bathroom without toddling
in and pulling all the toilet paper onto the floor. That’s why Smartmom
escaped to her writer’s group on Tuesday nights, her therapist on
Wednesday afternoons and Manifesto Mamas, her radical mommy support
group one Thursday a month. Moms need breaks. No crime there.

But that wouldn’t do it for Sohn, who has bigger fish to fry than
organic tater tots for her little dumpling. There are books,
screenplays and columns to write. The woman is so frustrated about
having to take time away from her work that she ranted about Park
Slope’s Stay-at-Home-Moms (SAHM) on her blog (her blog! Clearly, she
has time for what’s important!):

“Here in my neighborhood, Park Slope, I am constantly encountering
insane stay-at-home moms. And I have come to the all-too-un-PC
conclusion that stay-at-home motherhood, despite the way our culture
lionizes it, is bad for the child and bad for the mom. And bad for
society. It’s just plain bad.”

Sohn goes on to say that most of the SAHMs she knows are really
miserable in a “neurotic, soul crippling, Zoloft-inducing, Yellow
Wallpaper-type way.” (How did Sohn know about Smartmom’s wallpaper?)

Why is Amy Sohn so nasty towards motherhood? Just because she (and
Smartmom and probably many others) doesn’t thrive on SAHM-dom, doesn’t
mean she should put down all those SAHMs, who are working hard and
trying their best.

Smartmom’s friend, Mrs. Kravitz, gave up a career as a graphic designer
to stay home with two kids. But Mrs. Kravitz, not Amy Sohn, put her
finger on the real problem with SAHM-dom: “By staying at home we permit
our husbands to perpetuate the long hours that drives so many of us out
of professional work in the first place.” Maybe Mrs. Kravitz should
have a column somewhere.

Sohn’s nastiness went further: “SAHMs have no opinions anymore and
spend their time talking about poop and pancakes with kale and Veggie
Bootie and natural Cheerios versus regular ones.”

Smartmom understands the sentiment, but wishes to point out that no
one chooses poop over Proust. And she’ll offer a piece of advice to the
obviously overwhelmed Sohn: Children take up so much time and energy —
but only for a while. And if you’re going to enjoy the ride, it
actually helps to take the kid to sing-along at the Tea Lounge or sit
with the other mommies at the Third Street Playground talking about
poop instead of trying to “have it all” (wasn’t that the knock on
career women?).

Most shockingly Sohn recommends that college-educated women outsource their childcare:

“Childcare should be the province of immigrant women trying to get a
leg up. I do not believe it is ‘better for the child’ to be with his
mother. I believe it is better for the child to have a mother with some
modicum of a life — whether it’s volunteering, graduate degree, or
part-time work.”

If you ask Smartmom, that kind of classist, racist, elitist and just
downright hostile comment is in the category of throwing a can of beans
at a car window. Sohn has jumped into the deep end without a floatie.

So what is Amy Sohn’s problem? “Mommy Rage,” pure and simple.

Sohn — like the bean-can hurler — is mad as hell because her life
isn’t the way she wants it to be. The Bean Thrower wants all traffic to
stop just because she’s pushing a stroller. Sohn wants to have a child
and a fabulous career.

As Smartmom (and that Mick guy) always says, you can’t always get what you want.

If Amy Sohn doesn’t want to give up her “life” and her ambitions for
her kid, that’s fine. But why take out her aggressions on the mothers
who either enjoy staying home or can’t afford to go back to work?

Look, Smartmom’s not immune to “Mommy Rage.” Being a mom does cut
into the time Smartmom should be using to find an agent, finish her
novel, and make enough money to buy a big house in … Bed Stuy.
Sometimes, she screams at her kids and Hepcat. Often she takes it out
on herself.

But she never throws cans of beans. That’s where she draws the line.