Another excerpt from Little Light, whose blog, Laments of the Unfinished, is an OTBKB fave.

See, I told you I’d get back to this feeling. (This is how I generally
feel when my medication isn’t going awry.) Anyway, it’s funny when
people you’ve known for awhile start wondering about your spinsterhood
status. Funny looks, questions about your background, unsolicited
advice, even a little eye rolling here and there – oh and lots of
commentary. There are times when I think it bothers other people more
than it bothers me.

I’ve given up trying to figure out why I’m
single or more specifically, what could be wrong. Nothing’s wrong! I
may live to be 95 and be single my entire life and there still wouldn’t
be anything wrong with me. No one gets everything they want out of
life. All of us have disappointment in one form or another and whether
or not I like it, I will have to accept it. (I’ve certainly dated
people, but to say that my relationships have gotten anywhere close to
marriage would be an out and out lie.)

I guess it seems weird
because it sounds like someone who says they’re looking for a job, but
can’t find one. You know that if they really wanted a job (in this
economy, anyway) they would find one, so evidently they’re not doing
something crucial like sending out a resume. It’s really easy to find a
job in which you’re overqualified, but it can be more difficult to find
a job that suits you.

We’re also trained to believe there is
something wrong if we don’t have some mad passionate romantic love at
every stage in our life (high school, college, young adulthood – and
then finally you can get married). Well maybe that’s a New York thing.
When I start believing this, I find myself unhappier.

There’s no
formula or rule to finding love – you can "put yourself out there,"
"open your heart," "smile," stop looking, go online, go to parties, go
on blind dates, make yourself vulnerable, shop in the right stores, go
on the right vacations, wear the right make-up, read the right books,
watch Dr. Phil and go on some learn-how-to-date show and it still
may not happen. Then what are you supposed to do? Wonder what the hell
is wrong with you and begin a downward spiral of self-recrimination
because you’re not married or in serial relationships like everyone
else you know?

This is one of the reasons I liked the 40-year-old Virgin.
Yes, it was incredibly vulgar – unbelievably so actually, but he went
from being embarrassed about his status and trying to cover it up to
being honest and validated. He didn’t have to be the way his friends
were in order to be acceptable and he gained respect for it.

This
is what I consider acceptance. It just is. No one says you have to like
something, but you can be at peace with it and that’s where I am in
this moment in time.