Hepcat woke me up at midnight. "Opal’s dead." My eyes were closed so I could really hear the sadness, the sense of incredulity in his voice. We weren’t expecting it. "You never expect these kind of things," he said.

Opal Abu Opalina Crawford was a beautiful white rabbit with random black spots on her back and face. We bought her four years ago at the Petland Discount store on Fifth Avenue near 12th Street. Teen Spirit and I had gone out in search of a guinea pig like Serena, his beloved pet who died when he was 6 while we were vacationing in Cape Cod. It was meant to be an exploratory mission.

In the back of the pet shop, Teen Spirit became transfixed by a white rabbit. A buxom young woman who worked at the shop took her out of the cage and showed Teen Spirit how to hold her. "This is a very gentle rabbit," she said. "He will make a good pet," she said knowledgably.

Teen Spirit held the dwarf rabbit on his chest, over his heart, and they both looked very, very peaceful. The rabbit was, on that particular day, easy to hold, happy to be in the arms of a little boy.

Next thing I know, we’re buying a cage, rabbit bedding, food, rabbit vitamins. And we’re travelling by car service with a rabbit in a box.

Once home, I googled ‘rabbits as children’s pets’ and found this on rabbits.org:

Many people are surprised and disappointed to find that rabbits rarely conform
to the cute-n-cuddly stereotype in children’s stories Baby bunnies (and many
young adult rabbits) are too busy dashing madly about, squeezing behind
furniture, and chewing baseboards and rugs to be held. Also, rabbits are
physically delicate animals which means they can be hurt by children picking
them up. Because rabbits feel frightened when people pick them up, they kick
and struggle which means children can also get hurt Rabbits are also built to
react to sudden changes which means they may either run away or try to bite
when approached too quickly and too loudly. Stress-related illnesses are
common.

I worried that we had made a grave mistake impulsively buying a rabbit. Especially since we’d done absolutely no research in advance. Rabbit.org cautioned that a home with a lot of electrcal cords and wires would not be a good thing for a pet rabbit and Chez OTBKB is nothing if not flush with computer wires, cords and such. But it was already too late. Teen Spirit named her Opal and the Oh So Feisty One added Abu and Opalina to her long name. Within an hour, they were already attached to their pet rabbit.

It was true that she didn’t like to be held. In the first year, she was an anxious rabbit capable of scratching those who were fool hardy enough to lift her the wrong way. She just didn’t like to be in anyone’s arms. It was a while before she’d let Teen Spirit hold her the way he had at the pet store. And frisky, too. When we’d exercise her in the living room she’d scurry about trying out various surfaces: floor, rug, couch.

For the first few years, she led a very active life in her cage. Sometimes it sounded like she was doing gymnastics in there. We used to wonder if she ever slept. At night, she seemed to run from one end of her cage to the other punctuated by an occasional flip. We never saw her sleep.

The secret life of Opal, what she did while we slept was a subject of acute fascination.

We learned to respect her needs, learned to give her what she needed. Over time she became a much calmer rabbit, a Zen rabbit. She spent most of her day drinking water from her water bottle or sharpening her teeth on the metal bars of her cage. Lately, she was much stiller, much more tentative when she left the cage. She’d stay close by almost as if she was waiting to get back in.

It took me a while to bond with Opal. We were "slow to warm" around each other. I think her early hyperactivity put me off. While the rest of the family seemed to think of her as another member of the family, I was always a little more remote. For some reason, I used to refer to her as a he, which drove my kids crazy. "She’s a she," they’d say. "Why do you always call her a he?"

In the last two years, I found myself becoming more attuned to her, even grateful for her presence in our living room. I changed her water frequently and filled her bowl with her food. When we put up a wall in the living room so that Hepcat could have an office/studio in there, Opal’s cage was on the floor opposite the couch like a mantle, the focal point of the room. I stared at her frequently and enjoyed her noble, sometimes serious presence.

Opal and Hepcat had a special relationship. I enjoyed the way she got excited when he came into the room. She would point her face in his direction and wait for him to pet her. I used to joke that I was jealous of their relationship, of their special time together late at night when Hepcat was printing pictures.

Our voices were soft as we lay in bed together talking about Opal. "Do you think she was happy?" I asked Hepcat. "Well, it’s not like I read her blog or anything. But I think she was," he said. I told him how sad and scared I felt. He sighed a lot. I know. I know, he said. "Growing up on a farm you’re probably used to this kind of thing," I said. "You never get used to this kind of thing," he replied.

We discussed what we should do in the morning. "This is going to be really hard," I said. "We should probably have some kind of ceremony. There are going to be a lot of questions," I tried to prepare myself for the anticipated curiosity and fear about mortality, the fragility of life.

I wondered if we should cover the cage with fabric, that would it be too much of a shock for Teen Spirit and OSFO to see Opal lying down. But covered up, it might be even scarier. Better not to hide it, I reasoned. We’ll tell them first and see what they want to do.

"Teen Spirit is going to be very upset," I said. "He’s still sad about Serena."

When Hepcat was on the verge of sleep, I asked one last question. "What should we do with here body?’  He was too sleepy to answer. The question just hung over me in the dark of our small bedroom. No longer sleepy, feeling restless, but fearful of seeing the rabbit laying on her side, I lay beside Hepcat listening to him breathe.