Working on that thick skin.
Walked into PS 321 hoping that no-one was offended by the piece I wrote for Brooklyn Papers about the third grade test.
I think for the most part I’m preaching to the choir over there. But you never know. I saw the principal (we even made eye contact) and she didn’t seem aggravated. I assume she hates the standardized tests as much as I do but I’m not sure.
No one said a thing. Hey, that’s not good. Didn’t anyone read it?
HEY! WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT MY ARTICLE?????????????
About the Dumbo piece, a Park Slope man wrote me a great e-mail about the similarities between Park Slope and Dumbo. I sent it to my editor to show him because I was excited to get a response from a reader. He decided to run it as a letter to the editor. Apparently, no one checked with the man to see if he he wanted the letter printed.
DOH.
He didn’t and wants a retraction. I feel awful. The learning curve is steep. But we’re getting there.
I got a perfectly awful e-mail from someone who said really mean things about my writing. I wanted to delete the e-mail but I decided to keep it as a measure of my thick skinness. See, I can take it I really can. Really….
Thick skin. Thick skin. Thick skin. Wait’ll you read this week’s piece…
No, I’m not a militant mom, and while I know “patriarchal” is a loaded word, I feel that the post “do you regret…” had a wagging-finger, shame-on-you element to it, which may well be unintentional. And my main point was, it’s only an article about a neighborhood. I doubt whether a writer liking a neighborhood or not will have an impact on the happy stroller-pushers already living there, nor should it. And Dumbo has a ways to go before it gets bashed as much as Park Slope or Williamsburg. If you feel differently, we should just agree to disagree.
Petunia — where did I demand some kind of apology? I simply asked if Smartmom regreted writing words that i felt were pretty harsh. Re-read the article, and tell me if you think harsh is an unfair word. And can you point out exactly where you extract a “patriarchal tone” from my words? Candidly, to me those words sound a lot more like something my mom would have said to me. Does that make them matriarchal? Or is it possible that you might be adding your own political context?
Fred – The headline was most likely written by the Editor, not the writer of the column, that’s how it usually happens. The column didn’t read like a personal attack to me. Living in Park Slope, I hear and read comments bashing my neighborhood all the time – why on earth would any of that affect the way I “feel” about choosing to raise my family there? Why do you feel the need to demand some kind of apology, and with such a punitive, and quite frankly patriarchal, tone?
If I were Smartmom, I would delete that nasty email – if some random grouch with time on his hands is given a means to attack (via your printed email address), don’t let it occupy your thoughts or in-box any longer than necessary. It’s just like you would ignore and move past an angry, deranged stranger shouting abuse at passersby on 7th ave.
Do you regret writing such harsh words?
That was the headline.
But your critique was not of the neighborhood, but of the people who lived there. I believe the comment was “You have to be a DUMBO to live there”. How do you think that made the individuals who chose to raise their families their feel? The whole column seemed really harsh on a burgeoning neighborhood. Why such animosity?
But your critique was not of the neighborhood, but of the people who lived there. I believe the comment was “You have to be a DUMBO”. The whole column seemed really harsh on a burgeoning neighborhood. Why such animosity?
Good point. It was way nastier. And I’m a person and it’s a neighborhood. Not to be defensive. I don’t even want to repeat it because he hurt my writerly feelings and I take criticism very hard. I’m one of those people that doesn’t listen well to criticm and it always sounds worse than it is. Character flaw. Can’t repeat it. Just nasty, nasty.
What was said in the “extremely critical e-mail”? was it less or more critical than your critique of DUMBO?
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I wonder about people who send out extremely critical e-mails to people they don’t know. What are they hoping to gain exactly? Are they just venting frustrations from some other part of their life?
Anyway, I think it’s great that you put yourself and your writing out in the world where you are subject to criticism. It serves a larger purpose to share opinions and experience in a public forum. So thanks and keep it up!
I think you’re safe on this one! I’ve never heard anyone at PS 321 say anything that could be construed as positive about these tests. And as the mom of a second-grader, I always like to get a headstart on the next thing to worry about (worry preparedness?). I enjoyed your piece and am very glad there’s a column like this in the PS Paper.