I am enjoying the life of a Brooklyn newspaper columnist. But having a column in The Brooklyn Papers isn’t as "la di da" as you might expect.

While many people are enjoying the column, I have gotten some negative feedback from friends who feel that I am "using" them by referring to things they’ve told me. One or two think I’ve painted them in a bad light.

This is SO not what I intended. But, alas, it is an occupational hazard of writing. Especially writing based on one’s own experiences.

I apologize if I’ve inadvertantly offended anyone. While I don’t plan on being any less honest, I will respect people’s desire for information to be "off-the-record." Those who never want to be mentioned in the blog will never be mentioned in the blog.

Ah, the curse of the memoirst.

Smartmom is written in the 3rd person – and that’s an important fact. It has the feel of fiction on purpose. While  a great deal of it is based on my life and the life I see around me, I purposely write it as a story; the adventures of Smartmom, Hepcat, Teen Spirit and the Oh So Fiesty One.

Why? Because it’s more fun and it allows me to take liberties here and there.

People are referred to by fun, totally tongue-in-cheek names like Smartmom, Hepcat, Teen Spirit, the Oh So Fiesty One, Dumb Editor, etc.

Other characters are composites like Militant Mom, Type A, Bugaboo Mom, Overprotective Mom, Gluten Free, and others. Most of the time I am using real quotes (I don’t make this stuff up) but I might change the person or the situation in which it was said.

I feel very strongly that Smartmom is not written in a judgmental way. Sure, I have opinions about things. But I am really more interested in portraying a wide range of viewpoints and showing how Smartmom is affected by all that’s around her.

And humor is important, too. Because while we’re all super serious about our lives – there is much humor in it. It gets you through.

In my view, Smartmom is a fairly open-minded person who listens a lot and is a bit of a know-it-all. She’ll try anything – once – and is very observant and somewhat wry. But mostly she’s trying to figure things out and the learning curve is fairly steep. As Hepcat said in NOT MY KID: "It sounds like you made all the mistakes in the book. Simultaneously."

Yes, that could be Smartmom’s motto.

Smartmom’s name is the most tongue-in-cheek of all. It started back when my son (Teen Spirit) was a toddler. Smartmom was my alter ego: she was the good mother, the mother who did everything right. The one who, most importantly, remembered to bring kleenex to the playground or Goldfish crackers in small plastic containers. She was the one that anticpated all her baby’s needs with aplomb and never once left the house without diapers.

She was most definitely not me. Yet, she was the me I wanted to be. 

Overall, Smartmom has really good intentions when it comes to her kids, her husband, her extended family, and her community. But she is also a bit high strung, suceptible to spasms of envy, and a big, big worrier. If in NOT MY KID she seemed confused: she was. Who isn’t about having a teenager in these crazy times? The way she handled Teen Spirit was exactly what happened in real life: Smartmom went into a tailspin and channeled: Nancy Reagan, Reefer Madness, substance abuse expert, empathic-"I’ve been there, kid," and finally super-hysterical mom (it was all 100% so no one else can take credit for that).

Just like all of us, Smartmom doesn’t really know what to do. Oh sometimes she knows what to do – she’s Smartmom, afterall. But more often than not, she’s treading water, trying to do the right thing. If she seems buffoon-ish from time to time, it’s because, well, she is, from time to time.

It really doesn’t interest me to sit back in judgement of those around me. Nor am I interested in gossip or heresay. I actually hope that I am communicating something more. I totally believe that we are all, in so many ways, grappling with the issues of our time. The big stuff. Being humans, spouses, parents to our children, children to our parents, friends, members of our community, our city, our world.

How does it feel to be us? I can only offer my point of view and what I see and hear around me.  Sometimes funny, often wise, the community I live in is what inspires me and makes me understand a little more about this life.