Husband has convinced me that it would be a tad Nixonian to delete Monday’s post, "Diapering Ducky." Cover-ups are right up there with diapering babies in cafes. So I’ve decided NOT to delete the post.
But I do feel baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
And I feel kind of stupid for sharing that little faux pas with the world. I guess I’ve grown so used to writing about my life in the Borough of Kings, it just seemed like a natural (yes, natural) thing to write about it.
Well. Live and learn.
I guess diapering Ducky in the window of the cafe wasn’t such a great idea. I knew that. I really did. But it was one of thse things that just, well, happened. And god knows it’s not going to happen again.
And I’ve learned something in the process: Diapers are the last taboo. People are really disgusted by it. I guess I’ve lost sight of that as I’ve been around so many babies and their diapers in the last 14 years, since giving birth to my son.
When you’re a parent you get so immune to it. It’s just not that disgusting a thing. It’s a little baby’s "output" shall we say. A part of life as natural as breast feeding.
God, I hope Barbara Walters doesn’t get wind (yes wind) of this. I’ll be like the woman who breastfed her baby on an airplane who got savaged on "The View." Somehow I don’t think legions of breastfeeding mothers are going to defend diapering in public. Or will they? It’s just not as "wholesome" an activity.
Most parents have had to diaper their little offspring in odd places at odd times. It may be the last taboo, but it happens all the time. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that doing it in a cafe whose bathroom was out- of-order was the right, or particulary pleasant thing to do.
But I’ve diapered babies on airplanes, in cars, at friend’s houses (those who did and didn’t have children) sitting on the streets of New York and San Francisco, in the hallways of apartments and office buildings, in the playground, parks, at the beach, in every kind of public bathroom you can imagine, on boats, at Yosemite National Park…
We moms and dads are quite proficient at doing it quickly and in a sanitary way. Ya got your antiseptic baby wipes, diaper pads, plastic bags for disposing, hand sanitizers…Yada Yada.
If you’ve never diapered a baby it may seem disgusting. But if you have, it’s really not that bad. And at risk of sounding like a Park Slope stereotype (which I probably am) it can actually be quite cute. Kootchy koo and all that. God knows, it’s a many-times-daily fact of life with a baby. It better be cute.
As I write these things, I can almost hear the hideous comments I am going to get…
Husband just reminded me that in China, when he visited in 1987, he noticed that the children didn’t wear diapers, they wore pants with a hole in the behind. When they had to go, their parents just held them out in the street…
Ready, aim…
You’ve gotta have a tough skin when you’re a blogger. You write something and people get very judgemental. But I can handle it, I really can. I wouldn’t be doing this if I was looking for anyone’s approval now would I?
Do you still like me?
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Our soldiers are fighting for this?!!
Really, I thought the only reason you did this is because you constantly crave the approval of others.
Diapers are not the last taboo. Unavoidable, self-righteous shit where people are eating is the last taboo. Why would I care how long it took your sister to have a child if said child is contaminating a table and stinking up a restaurant? It reminds me of parents who let their children stand on bus and subway seats; they walk through the same contaminants the rest of us do, and I don’t want to sit in it.
People who supported her actions–check with your own parents, and see what lengths they would have gone to to avoid being this inconsiderate. I, for one, had to puke in my much-cherished space commander helmet (in the street) to avoid inconveniencing others, a lost concept, it seems.
GROSS M!
Sorry but there are a still things just not cool in public (I mean restaurants not parks). Changing diapers is definately one of them. Nobody wants to see or smell that where they’re eating.
As a follow up to my earlier comment: I’m glad you did not admit guilt, or to being inconsiderate. I too change diapers everywhere – and on the fly (I believe my record stands at 25 sec.). There’s nothing wrong, dirty or unhealthy with a soiled diaper in a closed plastic bag. Should refer to daddytypes.com, who maintains a list of baby changing facilities (for MEN!) in NYC.
I’m a new parent in the Slope, and I’ve yet to have to change a diaper in public, but then again, I don’t stray too far from home.
Just wanted to say I think it’s brave of you to leave the post (and comments). If (as Rose says)part of the job of being a parent is teaching children to be considerate and polite, another part is the lesson that no one is perfect–not even mom and dad.
I appreciate your not deleting your previous post or the comments. And I appreciate that you — sort of — admit you were in the wrong. I just want to say that I don’t think you should take the position that all the people who got upset with you aren’t parents and just don’t understand that changing a diaper isn’t a big deal. I am a parent, I’ve changed plenty of diapers, and I don’t think that changing a diaper is inherently disgusting. I definitely changed some diapers on park benches and in other public places. The problem here was changing a dirty, smelly diaper in a place where people were eating and drinking, when you clearly had other options. That’s just really inconsiderate. Part of the job of being a parent should be teaching your children to be considerate and polite — and this is where the stereotypical Park Slope parent fails miserably.
I got used to diapering really quickly when WMThing was going through 12 diapers a day. I had no qualms about changing him whenever the need arose. I was greatly pleased to find changing tables beginning to appear in men’s rooms at, for example, the Museum of Natural History.
Now to get more public bathrooms for the rest of us!