The window of The Clay Pot is tastefully decorated with gift items for Father’s Day. It’s full of the kind of stuff that men are supposed to like or need: money clips, wallets, watches, cuff links. There are also well-designed radios, a chess timer, a poker set, and a  miniature game of roulette.

The dad in our house doesn’t wear cuff links or a money clip. And he certainly doesn’t want a miniature roulette wheel. It’s amazing how these cliches about men persist. Cuff links seem so old fashioned. My grandfather wore cuff links and used a money clips. He was exquistely groomed and smelled of fine colgne.

But not the man I’m married to.

He grew up on a farm and his idea of dressing up is wearing a clean black t-shirt from Target.

My husband is hard to buy gifts for. Most of the things he wants he gets for himself like photography and computer equipment. I’m pretty good at picking out the kind of books he like’s to read: a history of science or technology, or a book about the history of something really mundane like the pencil or salt.  A book of photography by one of his heroes is also a good bet. Unfortunately I can’t afford to buy him a vintage John Deere tractor, which is what he’s really pining for.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. My husband hates  "Hallmark holildays." As previously discussed here, he
seems constitutionally unable to buy me a Mother’s Day gift or send a Mother’s Day card. Every now and then, he succumbs to pressure from me and picks something up. But I know he hates to do it.

Part of me thinks that I should just "poo poo" Father’s Day, too. But because I make such a fuss about Mother’s Day, I figure I should model good "Hallmark holiday" behavior. By giving him a gift, I am, in a strange, emotional circumnavigation, showing him how to do what I would like him to do for me. Yup, it’s that crazy: I want him to recognize me on Mother’s Day so I get him a gift on Father’s Day.

Marriage is one strange institution.

So off I went with my daughter to Razor, the new men’s shop on Fifth Avenue, and pcked out a shirt for my husband. I took a risk trying to pick out an item of clothing. But it’s a gorgeous…

I better not say. He’s going to read this before tomorrow and I want it to be a surprise.

* Items pictured are available at Shangri-La on Seventh Avenue between 13th and 14th Streets.