Maybe I went too far with that Jennifer Connelly piece yesterday. Some people, including my husband, thought I sounded a tad hostile. I certainly didn’t mean to. But I guess it came off that way.
Truth is, I was in a bad mood. And when I’m in a bad mood I "kick the dog" as my husband says. And we don’t even have a dog. So I pick a fight with him. And if he’s not available, I pick a fight with…
…Jennifer Connelly? That’s weird.
Yet, her quote about being a loser really did touch a nerve in me. It says so much about American life in the 21st century that you could be construed as a loser if you stay close to home and don’t partake in the quest for upward mobility.
It’s all because of the capitalist mindset that we’re swimming in. In this culture, you’re supposed to do better than your parents and strive to move up and out of the class you’re in. And if you don’t?
You’re a loser.
Think back to the distant agrarian past when people were expected to follow in their parent’s footsteps; butcher, baker, candlestick maker. Whatever.
Not so long ago, my husband grew up on a family farm in Northern California that was started by his grandparents in 1929. His mother still lives and farms there and loves the connection to the land, her family history, and the people she loves. My husband sometimes thinks about moving there because of the passion he feels for the place.
I’m a native New Yorker; born on the Upper West Side. People are always surprised to meet a native. I guess everyone thinks New Yorkers come here from far and wide. As E.B. White wrote in "Here is New York:" The residents of Manhattan are to a large extent strangers who have pulled up stakes somewhere and come to town, seeking sanctuary or fulfillment or some greater or lesser grail. The capacity to make such dubious gifts is a mysterious quality of New York. It can destroy an individual, or it can fulfill him, depending a good deal on luck. No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky.
So it is a funny thing being from Manhattan. But there is no shame in staying in your hometown if your hometown happens to be New York. Yet, Brooklyn is a famous place to escape from. As my mother says, "People from Brooklyn are overachievers. They have to cross the bridge."
For my mother’s generation, it was all about getting up and out of Brooklyn. Maybe Jennifer Connelly identifies with that impulse. But it’s a whole different ballgame now. Brooklyn, the new "It-Borough" is a destination now. Not a place to run away from.
That said, Jennifer Connelly has every right to feel like a loser. And she is in no way obligated to come out and play with the Slopers on Seventh Avenue. And maybe she does come out to play every once in a while. One of the readers of OTBKB, Procrastinet.com, had this report:
The first time we saw them, at the Garfield Tot Lot, I thought: "who’s
this big good lookin’ guy crawling around between people’s legs after
his kid? He’s got an accent. Oh holy crap, that’s Paul Bettany." He was
crawling around after little Stellan, having a high old time. Stellan
and my son rolled a ball back and forth a bit between them, and Paul
and I had a lovely chat about their names and ages.
Point well-taken, Procrastinet, I haven’t been to the Garfield Tot Lot lately as my kids are 8 and 13. But I did rush to judgment and that isn’t nice.
Like I said, I had a bad day. And for some reason, that article in New York Magazine was sticking around my brain. I didn’t mean to sound snarky.
I guess it just came out that way.
If I grew up in New York, I would have stayed. I’m jealous of you and mamainwaiting.
Amen to what the Mama said. Let’s not forget about freedom of speech and freedom of the press and all that good stuff. Go OTBKB. Go.
What are you apologizing for – On the one hand, J’s comment was very real and vulnerable. We all wonder if we are losers or whatever. On the other hand, in the context of her life, it was a bit foolish and silly. People who win academy awards and own 5 million dollar homes are probably not “losers” in the classic sense. On the other hand, It does show that one’s “internal” reality can be quite different from what one shows on the outside. She probably worries every day whether she will get another acting gig. For God sake, she’s still an insecure actress. But you have nothing to apologize for – Her comment was a tad foolish – and she deserves to be poked fun at. Did that jerk who wrote how much he hated Brooklyn “apologize” because he got a couple of angry letters to the editor? Do the editors of People or the Star apologize when they offend the celebrities they write about? You have nothing to apologize about.
You’re no Hedda Hopper. I’ll tell you that, my friend. Hedda would have never retracted her snarky remarks. I guess she was a perpetual (and professional) dog kicker. Wonder what she was so mad about. Meanwhile, I hear that Paul Bettany has a mouth like a sewer. ;)
Hi, I’m a Brooklyn based blogger although with the exception of occasional paens to Prospect Park & how much I like my multicolored, multilanguaged, multiethnic neighborhood, I don’t tend to write ABOUT Brooklyn much. As a Brooklynite, this looks like a fun blog to have found out about anyways but I’m stopping by with a purpose (and I’m at work so I gotta keep it short!) today – I posted a plug for a free event that a friend’s singing at on Wednesday the 23rd & am trying to kinda spread the word!
Ordinarily I’m not big on asking people to come read my blog, Frogma, but this I want to let people know about I think it’s gonna be cool! and it’s for a good cause!
ok I have to go back to work now…I will be back sometime when I can actually read & enjoy!