Light Sleeper by  Real Fruit Jelly

No dreams. But I am tightly grasping my earplugs when I wake up. I
meant to put them in my ears but must have fallen asleep before doing
so. I’ve been wearing earplugs to sleep for a few years now. My husband
S is a seasoned snorer. There was a time when I’d simply leave the
bedroom and go sleep on the couch when the "music" he was making became
too free-form for me. Then there was a period when I’d kick him out and
he’d seemingly sleepwalk to the livingroom and resume the kazoo
symphony out there. Sawing wood? This man would cut down a national
forest each and everynight. Eventually, I became so angry that I’d give
him a very hard "nudge" and loudly announce, "Roll over! You’re
snoring!" He would dutifully roll onto his side but soon would end up
on his back again letting loose like a sick trumpet. I started to have
fantasies about punching him in the head.

But that all ended when I discovered "Leight Sleepers." Ahhh, yes. Those little pink and yellow bullet shaped foam babies have
changed my life. Here’s what it says on the package: "Soft foam ear
plugs that help with sleeping, concentrating and studying. Noise
reduction rating 32 decibels, when used as directed. Contents: 5 pair
ear plugs, carrying case ". All that for $2.99! I don’t know how many
decibels my spouse’s snoring reaches on a bad night (it’s worst after a
couple of martinis) but clearly it has not exceded 32. At the very
least his tune is muffled. At the very most, God bless ’em, I
experience a gloriously peaceful… silence.

Now, where are my plugs?

Real Fruit Jelly is a graphic designer and art director with many magazine mastheads to her credit. She lives in Park Slope with her husband and daughter and is an unabashed fan of Bruce Springsteen. Her blog,  Sleeping Bunnies, is a daily record of her night life.