YOUR MAN IS LUCKY by Laments of the Unfinished

On Sunday I was riding the 1 or 9 from Riverdale sitting between a male actor and a female actor I had just met at a friend’s party when a happy, crazy homeless guy with a ponytailed beard walked into our subway car and stopped directly in front of me. I waited a few seconds before I looked up to see his smiling face.

"You’re cute," he said, grinning while his eyes moved around to opposite sides of his face before focusing back on me.

"Thanks," I said.

"Your man is a lucky man," he said.

He continued in this way, telling me that my man must be happy and I responded, "I’m sure he is," without much inflection. The guy seemed pretty harmless and he just kept grinning at me, so I figured I’d humor him (plus, my mother taught me that it’s always better to humor these men than ignore them because they get angry when you ignore them).

Our exchange went on for a little while until the male actor sitting next to me grabbed my hand, patted it and said,

"Yes, I am very lucky."

"Oh, you’re the guy. You are a lucky man," crazy grinning guy said.

"Thank you," male actor responded, which prompted another male passenger on the train to burst out laughing.

"Well, I commend you on your good taste," crazy grinning guy said and walked off the train.

Laments of the Unfinished is an honorary Park Sloper who lives in Washington Heights.