Last week I reported that Scott Turner, pub quizzer at Rocky Sullivan’s in Red Hook, is moving to Seattle. But he hasn’t left yet. And hopefully he’ll keep sending his “greetings” from the great city of Seattle.
Greetings Pub Quiz Minutiaetistas…
We’re all motivated by simplicities. Straight-forward declarations of love, joy, excitement, and plans that say, simply, “you’ll dig this.”
“We’re going to Paris!”
“Free pizza for everyone!”
“Bruce Ratner’s giving up!”
“C’mere, big boy…”
…that sort of thing.
Which is why the Obama presidency, thus far, has been a failure.
Everything that seemed clear and obvious when he was stressing HOPE and YES WE CAN.
Now, it’s HOPE FOR MIDDLE CLASS FAMILIES MAKING OVER $27,500 BUT LESS THAN $135,000 WITH TWO KIDS WHOSE HEALTH PLANS ARE PROVIDED BY BUT NOT LIMITED TO THEIR EMPLOYERS IN STATES WITH 10% OF THE NATION’S MEDIAN INCOME LEVELS AND WHO ARE ELIGIBLE FOR A NEW $1000 TAX CREDIT ON THEIR RETURN STARTING IN 2014 AT APPROXIMATELY THE SAME JUNCTURE AT WHICH OUR TROOPS WILL BEGIN A PHASED PULL-OUT OF AFGHANISTAN AS LONG AS 30% OF AFGHANI FORCES ARE POSITIONED TO TAKE OVER THE SECURITY CONCERNS IN OVER 50% OF PROVINCES CURRENTLY CONTESTED BY ENEMY COMBATANTS PROVIDED TARP MONIES ARE REPAID AT AN ECONOMY-SPURRING RATE OF RETURN WE CAN!!!
Agendas sure are tricky, in no way easy, and most certainly, not simple. However, communicating them should be simple. Obama’s inability to pick a message and stick to it is really making a mess of things.
Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick in the service of imperialism. FDR formed agencies to provide jobs and build things the country needed, not small tax credits for families that can evaporate a hundred different ways by April 15th. The recent junk — Reagan’s kill-commies and W’s kill-terrorists initiatives — was clearly laid out, and the giant gears of bureaucracy were retrofitted to grind those plans into reality.
Some will say it’s immature to expect clear, simple directives — that real life is complex and fixing problems doesn’t happen in the snap of a finger. That’s true. But just knowing there’s a point to it makes a big difference.
Hmmmmm…
You know what? This is a all Sherlock comma shit comma no stuff.
Really.
Here’re some other completely obvious things, presented in an orderly bulleted list.
* Bruce Ratner is a turd
* Michael Bloomberg is a wealthier turd than Bruce Ratner
* The Mets haven’t a clue
* Atlantic Yards will disappoint the people who believe in it
* Harold Ford’s kinda hard to pin down
* J-E-T-S
* Coffee is a delicious beverage
* My first ever toy was a Winnie the Pooh bear based on the old A.A. Milne books, not the Disney bear
* I play a Fender guitar with DAYS OF HEAVEN stickered on the back below the year 1916
* Everyone should read The Autobiography of Malcolm X
* Terrence Malick’s new film, Tree of Life, if gonna be spectacular
* Lady Gaga is fun but in possession of a real long shelf life
* The Cincinnati Reds were nicknamed The Big Red Machine because they were the Reds
* Pillow talk can be muffled
* Walnuts are called walnuts because they grow on walls spelled with just one “L”
* I like The Clash
* The Scholastic Book of Lists lists Simple Machines as “incline plane, screw, lever, wheel and axle, pulley and wedge” and Complex Machines as “airplanes, automobiles, cameras, computers, telephones and televisions.”
* Some of the Grateful Dead are
* The U.S. Postal Service’s code for American Samoa is AS
* It’s often fun to say “Jalalabad”
* Brooklyn Brewery still stinks for supporting the Atlantic Yards project
* Many people have seen the film Avatar
* The U.S. Department of Transportation’s new law prohibiting truckers and bus drivers from texting on the road is a very useful
* Apple has a new gadget, a tablet of some sort
* Teenagers seem to like Twilight. Good for them!
* Port-au-Prince is a frakkin’ mess
* One of the two Mars rovers, Spirit, may never roll again and has shut down to hibernate for the Martian winter.
* Firefly is the greatest television show ever
* For the next two weeks we will hear more sappy crap about what the Saints mean to a still-recovering New Orleans than we can possibly stomach
* The Tickemaster-Live Nation merger will mean concerts will cost more than the car you drive to them
* Randy Newman is the greatest American songwriter of our generation, even if a critic once said he sounds like a frightened water buffalo when he sings
* If you’re rich, you have it made in Michael Bloomberg’s New York — excepting Bernie Madoff, of course