Greetings from Scott Turner: Quivery Convergence of Weirdness

Here's this week's greetings from pub quizmeister at Rocky Sullivans. He is also a graphic designer with a company called Superba Graphics.  He never told me that I just figured it out. So we might as well give credit where credit is due. This missive is brought to you, as always, by Miss Wit, the t-shirt queen of Red Hook. Check out her designs they're really FUN.

Greetings Pub Quiz Head Shakers…

Whoa!  If we'd had a devastatingly hot summer here in Brooklyn,
this past week's quivery convergence of weirdness would make sense.  I
guess it does, since none of this stuff happened in Brooklyn.

  • A reality t.v. show dude, one Ryan Jenkins, murders his ex-wife, one Jasmine Fiore
    Cuts off her fingers and pulls out Fiore's teeth to make i.d.'ing her
    harder.  Authorities i.d. her anyway…by her breast-implant serial
    numbers.  Jenkins bolts to Canada, is checked into the Thunderbird Motel (you can picture the flickering neon sign) by a mystery woman, and hangs himself with his belt in a closet — very David Carradine.

http://vegasblog.latimes.com/.a/6a00d83452364969e20120a56eda75970c-pi

  • The British government, via the Scottish sort-of government, releases the Lockerbie bombing
    mastermind.  Intensifying storm-clouds of controversy say that it was a
    hostage exchange for oil.  Gosh.  What government would do something
    that insane for oil?

Libya's Moammar Khadafy, at July's G8 Summit in Italy, stands with Britain Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who is reeling from reports that Britain released Libyan bomber for an oil deal.Convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset al-Megrahi is free.

  • The Nymets baseball squadron continues to find new,
    astonishing ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.  Yesterday,
    they lose on an unassisted triple-play that ends the game — on the
    second time in major-league history that's happened.

  • Two companies — one British, the other U.S. of A.-ish — are in a jurisprudential battle to the death over who has the exclusive rights to manufacture and sell Michael Jackson hairpieces.  The British company got its start with those white wigs so popular in the UK court system and in movies about the Declaration of Independence.http://media.80stees.com/images/products/Michael_Jackson_Wet_Look-Wig.jpghttp://worldoffancydress.com/images/Michael%20Jackson%20Bad%20Wig.jpghttp://worldoffancydress.com/images/Michael%20Jackson%20Thriller%20Wig.jpghttp://www.mrcostumes.com/Assets/ProductImages/51316-Michael-Jackson-wig-style_t.jpg
  • Mayor for Life Bloomberg, on his weekly radio show,
    pshaws criticism of the pharmaceutical industry by saying "Last time I
    checked, pharmaceutical companies don't make a lot of
    money. Their executives don't make
    a lot of money."  Bloomberg backpedals almost immediately, saying, in
    effect well, I dagnabbit, I guess they do!  Bloomie's disconnect from everyone less wealthy than he jumps to the fore once again.

http://amysrobot.com/files/bloomberg_thumbsup.JPG

  • India’s
    rupee hits a one-week
    high as a worldwide rally in stocks and commodities adds to
    optimism a global economic recovery is gathering pace, according to
    this morning's media reports.  There's nothing undulatingly odd about
    this — I just know none of us have paid close enough attention to the
    rupee lately.

http://www.infosoftek.com/stocks/images/500-rupee.jpg

  • Mikka Shardai Cline, 23, of Waco, TX, and her sister try to take a soccer
    ball from a 13-year-old boy in a wheelchair outside of a Dallas hospital.
    In the
    struggle to get the ball, she punches the boy in the head.  No — it
    gets worse.  the boy has a medical halo screwed into his skull. 
    According to police, that's exactly where Cline's punch lands on the
    boy, causing searing pain. Cline has been charged with child abuse.

[MIKKA+CLINE.JPG]

  • The best selling football jersey at NFL.com is…of course…Michael Vick's new Philadelphia Eagles jersey.

http://www.gambling911.com/Vick-Dog-Jersey.jpghttp://insidethenfl.typepad.com/.a/6a00d834cd4f5769e20120a54bdadf970c-800wi.jpg

  • And finally, from the AFP news service: "A Saudi businessman has purchased what is being described by the
    Canadian seller as the world's most expensive adult novelty item — a
    solid 18-carat gold penis enlarger worth nearly 50,000 dollars. X4
    Labs
    , a Canadian manufacturer of medical devices, received the
    unorthodox request and recruited a Montreal custom
    jeweler to help with
    its design and construction. "This male health accessory is the
    most expensive traction device ever produced and will likely become a
    historical benchmark for the adult novelty industry," the company said
    in a statement.   His glitzy new penis enlarger, however, is being
    encrusted at his request with 40 diamonds and several rubies and is to
    be delivered by armored car in October, said Rick Oh,
    X4 Labs co-owner.  Saudi law bans the import of adult sex toys, but the
    company insists its product is a US government-certified medical device.

http://bobbeckstead.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/41jorJtDFoL._SL500_AA280_.jpg
[not an accurate depiction — ed.]

So there — nothing gripping, nothing mind-blowing…just the rich
pageant of eccentricity and the little bonmots it's dropped in our lap
over the last week.  Quiz-fodder?  Sure!  The fuel the March of Time runs on?  Absolutely.